Freedom in Fire.

This morning I have been playing pretend mommy but with 3 (real) sweet kiddos (also known as babysitting). As I was waiting for them to wake up I got out my bible and asked the Lord where He wanted me to read. Daniel 3 came to mind and I flipped there. I see the heading, "The Image of Gold and the Fiery Furnace" and I'll admit, I cringed. I'm not much on history, so the Old Testament is hard for me to read.... especially when they start talking about measurements and all these names that I can't pronounce. But I felt like God was going to speak into me through this passage so I read. I honestly couldn't tell you the background without going back and looking it up again.... but the 3 amigos: Shadrach, Meshach and Abedenego got thrown into a fire for standing up for the Lord and not bowing down to the image of gold that King Nebuchadnezzar had set up.
      Yep, I said it..... fire! Thrown into a fiery furnace that got turned up so they would for sure die. The king questioned them and asked them once again to bow down to the image and they said no. The spoke in confidence that God would save them from the fiery furnace. The king was angry with them so the furnace was turned up 7 times higher than the orginal heat. He ordered them to be thrown in (tied up together) The gaurds did as told and took them to the furnace. The gaurds that threw them in didn't survive because of the heat........ but the 3 amigos.... walked in freedom. Not tied up. Walking in freedom. When the king looked back he saw 4 men walking in the furnace.
      The Lord had sent an angel. The 3 amigos and an angel hanging in the furnace in complete freedom. This occurance changed the king's life and I'm sure had a huge impact on history. These 3 men changed culture. Even in the midst of fire they were still able to walk in freedom.
     So- no matter what attack is coming against you, whatever you're going through- there is freedom that you can walk in. Choose God. Choose Freedom. It's that simple. Life isn't always easy.... but it's a lot easier to make it through the circumstances with God on your side.
     If God is on Your side, who can be against you? If God is on your side, who can be afraid?

Where the Spirit of the Lord is- there is freedom.

Learning.

     For the first time in a while, I am in a place where I don't exactly know what I'm doing. I don't have it all together. I'm in a constant state of learning and also in a constant state of messing up. I'm not used to being "administrative" all the time. Granted, I am fully capable and can do it well and have experience. But most of the time only with one event, not six.  I am on a new adventure of learning how to be all the roles that I am in. Leader, servant, admin, worshipper, barista, etc, etc... And it's difficult. But what I am learning is that I have to learn. I have to be teachable. Or else, I will not prosper in my roles.
     In Proverbs 14:6 (MSG) it says, "Cynics look high and low for wisdom- and never find it; the open-minded find it right on their doorstep!" I can not be the skeptical Brennen. My life will not work like that, I will be frustrated and angry all of the time. I have to be open-minded to new ideas, new ways of doing things, and new processes. Being teachable is one of the most important things in my walk with God. If I am not teachable then how will I ever grow?
     To be teachable also means you have to be willing to "unteach" yourself some things as well. With learning comes unlearning. And this is where I struggle. Because it becomes an internal battle. A battle of the mind most of the time for me. I have to take thoughts captive, replace them with truth, and act in truth. I have to make my mind up that I am going to learn this new truth. Your internal lifestyle determines your external actions.  What you decide in your mind will come out. It's just a truth.
     It's a lifestyle of surrender that brings freedom. Surrender to everything that once was and allowing God to redefine it for you. Some things from the past will still remain, because it's still truth, but some things will be replaced with something far greater. Soak it in. Soak it up. Live it out. Inside to the outside.

Broken Volume Control.

     You never realize the things that bring so much joy to your life until it's gone. In July my gorgeous [identical] twin sister used my car while I was in LA. When I got home and got in the car- she began to giggle. And then gave me this sheepish "I did something wrong face." And explained to me that somehow my volume button broke on my radio. 3 months later, I am still grieving the death of my volume button. It is stuck at a comfortable volume 10. Which, is great when I have a headache, or if someone is in the car where there is uncomfortable silence. However, it is not so great when I'm trying to talk on the phone or when I simply want to JAM to some music. I have become fully aware of my inability to sing consistently or good. And quite frankly, I'm ready to be able to sing again without hearing myself. :)

     I was going to write this blog on something totally different then what is about to come out of these quickly moving fingers. The Lord just quickened my spirit and let me in on a revelation. There are "volume buttons" in my life that need to be broken at a comfortable 10. Why? So I can see some of my faults. And now that I think about it, I'm pretty sure my volume button on life is on mute! See my last blog post and you can realize that I am in a state of change. God has revealed to me that I am a control freak and a few other things on how I live my life that are not so Godly.

     It's so easy to just turn it up and ignore it. To drown it out. Pay no attention to it. And let it get worst. But God has a different plan. It's not that He wants to make you feel horrible- it's that it is simply a part of life. We live and we learn. We make mistakes, we stand up, and move on. My precious Savior wants the best for me. And sometimes I have to come to a reality of the things I'm struggling with so I can be redeemed. Redemption is the Lord's heart cry. He wants you back. He wants to restore and rebuild.

     What are the things you cover up? It's not bad to be vulnerable. It brings you to a place of intimacy with the Lord. I am by no means an expert on this, or I would have realized years ago my control problems. Because it's been going on since birth. For real. That's how bad it is. :) Feel free to pray for me this week as I let go and Let God take care of things for me. As I draw people toward instead of pushing them away when things don't go my way. It goes against everything I have taught my mind. My God is so capable of redeeming, restoring, loving, teaching, comforting, and rebuilding me. Just like He's capable of doing the same for you.

Faith and Love.

     Today is a good day. And I love good days. My friend sent me a verse from 1 Thessalonians this morning. So I decided to make that my reading today. I read the entire fifth chapter and one phrase stuck out so strongly. 

1 Thess. 5:8 "...putting on faith and love as a breastplate..."

     I'm sure I've read this passage several times throughout the years, but this is the first time that this phrase has stuck out. It's crazy good truth. What's a breastplate? What do you use it for? My first thought goes to the movie "How to Train a Dragon", the first weapon they grabbed before fighting the dragons was their shield or breastplate. It was essential to their fight with the dragon. They had to have it to protect themselves. Just in that very way is faith and love supposed to be to us. That whenever we come against any opposition at all we are supposed to cling and grab onto faith and love.

     Realistically, what does that look like? When someone says something rude and ridiculous, you grab your love breastplate. You defend with love. That might be turning the other cheek, but you put on love. You love and encourage that person. This is probably where I struggle the most. I am such a drama queen sometimes. After someone is mean- I immediately want to tell somebody. I feel insecure and hurt and I immediately go to someone else instead of putting on love.

     What does putting on faith look like? The thing I keep thinking about, is dreams. We all have a dream that we would love to do one day. It might be something like becoming the president of the USA, or opening a boutique, or owning a Ferrari, it could be anything. And most of the time, (at least in my experience) whenever we share these ideas and dreams with someone, they aren't nearly as excited as we are. They usually have something to spout back that isn't as encouraging as we had hoped. And this is usually when I get defensive or angry and usually end up crying because someone crushed my dream. But, what are we supposed to do? Put on the breastplate of faith. Believing the things that God has spoken over us. Believing the promises that the Lord left for us in His word.

     It's such a simple phrase. But it has such a life-changing truth to it. Put on faith and love in every circumstance. See what happens. My vow to my fellow bloggers is to this week whenever opposition comes against me to put on my breastplate of love and faith.

    Stand firm my friends, and be moldable by Your Creator.

<3B.

Grief. Isn't an equation.

      It's been a week since I blogged last. And to be honest, I am still numb. I don't know what to feel, what to write, what to say, or how to act. I've never dealt with death and grief. It's surreal. It goes against my heart. I don't want to believe that Pepaw is gone. Nor do I want to deal with moving on. It's pathetic almost. The other night, I put on regular mascara. That's a step, and I was proud. I was making a statement to myself that I wouldn't be sad. That I wouldn't cry. I, of course, cried. And am I mad that I cried? No. Because it is natural. I'm grieving. I looked at the steps of grief... and they didn't help. I don't know what will help- other than clinging to the One who has my heart in mind. Jesus.
     The only thing I know how to do is be emotional. Sometimes, it's not very loving. I get angry and irrational. I get mad over stupid things and don't want to be around anyone. And sometimes all I want/need- is simply for someone to love me and hold me. I get frustrated when I'm having fun. Why? Because I've forgotten that someone so special to me passed away. Should I get frustrated? No. Pepaw would want me to have fun, to laugh, and to continue living my life. But- I guess it's a part of grief.
      I don't know what I'm talking about. I'm not a scholar. Nor do I have my doctorate, heck, not even a completed semester of college. I guess I'm at a point where I don't know what to do next with my grief. But I also think, that if someone told me what to do- I wouldn't like it very much.
      So what's my plan? To let out whatever emotion I need to. When I'm happy- I'm gonna be happy. When I need to cry and be sad... I'll do just that. I'll let myself process this loss in my life. It's not something that next week I'm gonna be over. It's something that years from now- I will still struggle with. Maybe not as often, but it'll come up. And that's a lot to get your head around when you've never been through it before.
      I'll stand firm on my Rock. My provider. I'll rest in His Heavenly arms. I know that He will breathe strength into me and that He will hold my hand. I know that Pepaw is in a place where there is no weeping, no hurt, and no pain. And for that, I rejoice. I'll take the memories, the laughs, the cries, the fun times and the hard times... and I'll always remember my Pepaw. I'll remember the things he taught me and I'll be sure to make him proud.
    

Worldy to Godly.

     Live, Laugh, Love. Follow your heart. Only your heart can tell. Trust your instinct. If someone's on your mind then maybe they are supposed to be. 

     I mean, come on, you know you've heard these tidbits of advice from some people that mean a lot to you. Am I right? What are some other ones that people use often? That have some truth in them- but have a lot of truth that is missing. This morning I read John Paul Jackson's update and this is what he said:

"You cannot depend on your eyes when your spirit is out of focus."

     This is so true. It's the same thing with your heart. You can't depend on your heart if it's not "solely" His. You can't trust your instinct if your instinct is messed up by the world. You can't trust your mind if it is bombarded by evil/demonic/worldly thoughts. Can I get an amen?

     

     But so often in this world we are bombarded by this advice. Especially in my generation. Go where the wind takes you. Move with the flow. Follow peace. You know, all of that good stuff that makes me think of people dancing in an open field to the sound of the wind. Ya know? 

     Follow your heart. I so struggle with this. It is so easy to follow your heart. But my heart can be off sometimes. I mean if I followed my heart I'd be eating brownies for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. But just because my heart says it's okay doesn't mean it's good for me. Right? Beth Moore was the first one that really introduced this truth into my life. Our hearts have to be wholly and holy His. It has to be a heart that is completely surrendered to His will for our lives. Personal story? My dream and desire in life is to be a wife and a mother. And if I am honest- within 5 minutes of meeting a handsome young man that loves the Lord I have the two of us married, old, and gray watching our grandkids play soccer. (Please still be my friend, and don't get freaked out- lovely men in my life.) But I constantly have to take those thoughts captive and turn it to, "Lord, you have the perfect match for me. And only You can bring him to me at the right time. So I trust you..." and then I always add, "and give the poor guy some courage to marry me." :)

     Funny huh? Well, that is the realistic Brennen Gaddis. I will admit it. If you hang around me too long you will know that I have parts of my wedding already planned. (You're right, I don't even have a boyfriend.) There is nothing wrong with being prepared! :) 

     The thing is- I can't always trust my heart. My heart can lead me to some places that I am not supposed to be. I have to really search out what the Lord is telling me. I have to be sensitive to the things the Lord is showing me and see how it relates to scripture and obey what He says. So what am I trying to say?

     Get your spirit in focus. Get right with God. Quit wasting time, following your worldly heart and get it where it's supposed to be.  Look at what Philippians 4:8-9 says;

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me--practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.

     It's the same thing I said a few posts ago about our desires.

Psalm 37:4 says Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.

     What we sometimes forget is that- whenever we are truly delighting ourselves in the Lord, His desires actually become our desires. Just like with my crazy desire to be a wife. Yes, I want to be a wife, and I believe that it is a God-given desire, but it has now changed to "I want to be a wife when YOU want it and with who you want me to be married to." It's a daily decision I have to make to trust that the Lord will provide. 

     Obey the scriptures. Trust what the Lord says. He will bring it to completion. Just like I believe 100% that the Lord is giving my future husband courage right now. (In Jesus Name!) And just like I believe that the Lord will guide me into the next steps in my life- weather it's as a student, missionary, servant, or wife. Whatever it is, I have faith that the Lord will lead me to it. 

     Feel free to go where the wind takes you. If it's the Holy Spirit's wind. Go ahead, and trust your heart. If it's a heart that is wholly the Lord's. And- Live. Laugh. and Love. It'll make your life more enjoyable. Just take those tidbits- and add some Jesus to it. :) Change it from worldly to Godly. 

-B

Step into your Jordan.

As I continue to study Joshua the Lord continues to teach me new things. I am by no means a bible scholar- but I do want to learn as much as I can about Joshua and his journey with the Lord. From the last blog post we know that the Lord promised Joshua some pretty big things for his life. And Joshua took them and obeyed them. He had 100% obedience. (Something I need to learn; not just 80% or 50%, but 100%.) The Lord gave Joshua a pep talk- which I love. (How cool is that?) preparing Joshua to cross the Jordan River. 

As you continue to read in Joshua 2 you find out that Joshua sent two spies to check out what they were going to be coming up against. The spies stayed with a prostitute Rahab so they wouldn’t appear suspicious. I am still chewing on the significance of them staying with a prostitute. According to my commentary in my bible it says that, “It was not unusual for strangers and foreigners to go to Rahab’s house... God did not bless Rahab for lying, but for her faith in the report that the spies gave.” So, if you have any insight on this then fill me in. I do believe, that no matter what you have done in your past that God can use you to advance the kingdom. The past is the past and when you became a Christian you have a new identity. You are no longer a sinner. You have been saved from your sin. And you are a new creation. Joshua was Hoshea before being commissioned by God. So, feel free to make up a name of your old self, pre-Salvation, if you’d like. I think it’s a fabulous idea.

So after the spies confirm that the Lord is giving the whole land (2:24) then the crossing into the Jordan begins. This is where it gets exciting. So if you’ve been bored- get ready. This is my favorite part. 

Joshua takes authority and they leave Shilting to go to the Jordan River, they camped for three days and then the orders were given to follow a new path. They are to follow the ark of the covenant. Now, I read this and had always passed up what the ark of the covenant was, so I got out my Bible dictionary and this is what I discovered. The A.O.C. is a sacred chest where the mercy seat (the resting place of God) and the cherubim (winged angelic beings) were seated. To me this means that when we are called to a new path, our own Jordan River, we are to pursue the resting place of God. Cool huh? 

The Lord continues to speak promises over Joshua in 3:7 that he would exalt him like He did with Moses, so they know that the Lord was with him. Then the cool part comes. Drum roll please....... They reach the Jordan. So in my head I can picture this huge army of men reaching a flooded Jordan River, the priests in the front. The waters are rough and they have to get across. I’m sure doubt was creeping in on at least one person in the group if not all of them. But someone had to have the faith to step into the Jordan. And when the “foot of faith” stepped into the river, the river parted. (I’m ready to dance and sing Hallelujah now.) Can you imagine the joy that must have came over them. Relief that they didn’t have to do anything but walk across, no building a boat or blowing up a water raft- simply walking into what the Lord had promised them. The priests were required to put their faith into practice. They had to take that step of faith into the Jordan. And according to my commentary- the Jordan no longer floods like it once did. The entire nation crosses the Jordan (on dry ground). 

With a single step of faith, God can turn your wet and mucky ground to dry and solid. It requires faith and it requires obedience. In 4:10 it says that they did everything that the Lord commanded. Another thing that was revealed to me, was how scared their enemies must have been when the Jordan River parted. When you do take that step of faith and your ground turns to solid- you not only receive breakthrough but your enemies are also defeated. They lost courage when they saw what kind of God they served and what He could do. Your step of faith brings about more than just the obvious. It defeats your enemies. 

From Chapters 2 and 4 we learn so much that we can apply to our lives. We must take a step of faith to get major breakthrough. We must step into our calling. We must take a first step. You know, everyone had a first day at their job, school, university or whatever they do. They had to learn the ropes. Everyone was once a beginner. So what are you scared of? What is holding you back? Fear. Pride. Jealousy. Bitterness. Selfishness. Fear? I don’t know what it is for you, but we must break those thoughts that we can’t do it, we’ll be rejected or that someone else will do it.The time is now- step into what God is calling you to. Step into your Jordan, and that Jordan will part. With God- all things are possible.

There’s a song that we sang in Panama that says- if you tell that mountain to move with just a mustard seed size of faith- that mountain will move. MUEVETE! So tell that mountain to move. Tell that Jordan to part. And tell those walls of Jericho to fall. And watch what God can do.