He Cares For You

Every now and again I get a little impatient with God's timing. I get ahead of myself and think that I'm ready for "the next thing" when in fact, I am not. I begin to search and reach at things that are not from the hand of God just to cease the hunger that has been placed inside of me for more. Of course, I quickly find that even the things I try to fill that void with only makes me that much hungrier. It's like being sooo thirsty and getting a Coca-Cola to take the quench. Trust me, the Coca Cola tastes amazing- but it doesn't quench my thirst like a glass of water would. It really, just makes me thirstier.
     We all come to a crossroads in our lives where we begin to say things like, "I think I'm ready to go to college.", "I think I'm ready to get married.", "Honey, I think I'm ready for children.". The list goes on and on. But something inside of us begins to tick and we begin to yearn after these things. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Where we go wrong, is when we put our desire for these things above God's timing. I am a huge advocate of going after the things God calls you to and totally against laziness in the things of God. There are some things though that the Lord has to allow into our lives for us to be able to step into them. And, it takes time. His time. (Perfect time.)
     Graduation from my Graphic Design Diploma is only a mere 5 weeks away. The excitement that is inside of me is ridiculous. I am not much of a fan of school so I'm ready for the nights of homework and papers to cease. But I'm also ready for "the next thing". I've already been blessed enough to be able to move out of the house this week and push forward. The hang up that I've encountered is I feel like a squirrel racing around the park looking for the PERFECT acorn. I'm scurrying around trying to figure out what God has for me next instead of allowing Him to lead me. Where He is there is freedom and liberty. When I step in and put my impatience before His perfection there is chaos and confusion. I end up saying things like, "There's nothing for me after school." "Internships don't want me." And I totally ignore the Lord instructing me and teaching me because I'm allowing and permitting my worries to overshadow His plan and peace.
     The past few days I keep hearing the Lord whisper to me that He has it under control and it's going to be okay. He has my back and He's watching out for me. He has my heart in mind. How do you figure it out? You press into Him. The further I press into Him the better I can hear and understand His direction and peace. The more rooted I am in the Word- the more His truth will rise up within me and cancel out the lies the world/ satan throws at me. The deeper I am in intimacy and worship with the Lord- the more I'll recognize His whispers.

     This blog is probably more for me to write it out than anything. It's all about coming back to a place of trust with the Lord. He really does care for you.

Kitchen Tools.

     Yesterday was a landmark in the life of Brennen Gaddis. I moved out of my parent's house. Took off from the nest. Praying and crossing my fingers that I don't boomerang. Not because I don't like living with my parents, but because it's time for me to grow up and be the woman God has called me to be. :)
     I'm so blessed to get to live with my best friend, Ashley Abney, in the cutest house nestled in the woods. We've been moving stuff in the house for the last few weeks. Saturday, we were unpacking the kitchen. Ashley, is possibly the coolest friend ever. One of those reasons, is she enjoys to be fully equipped & ready in every area of life. For example, this morning, (after my first night sleeping at the new house) I realized I left my toothbrush at parent's house. Ashley, came to the rescue with a 10pack that she keeps for emergencies. So, you can imagine- unpacking the kitchen. Tons and tons of cooking utensils.
     This girl is ready to cook any and every type of food. I kept pulling out all of these utensils and kitchen tools saying, "What is this for?" Most of the time, she remembered...  and the excitement grew for me to cook the greatest meals ever in that kitchen.

     Then it hit me, we have tools inside of us that we never use. Just like Ashley's kitchen, when unpacking it she began to remember the tools and why she bought them... and our anticipation grew to cook/ bake something great. God has placed tools and giftings deep inside of us that we may have forgotten about. The passions and desires you've placed on the back-burner because you didn't think you were good enough or that it was the right time; those are "tools" that God has given you to use and effect the Kingdom of God. Don't hide your passions. Live them out. The world needs you and all that you have within you.
      I'm a firm believer that the things God calls you to he equips and fulfills you to accomplish. Be obedient to the things he is calling you to. It may seem like it would take too much time or be too difficult but press forward. God is preparing you for such a time as this. The time is now. Act upon those giftings. Bring out the tools and cook the most delicious meal ever. :)

     It's said best in Philippians 2:13, "For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him." (NLT) version.

Graphic Design Dreams

     I am one month away from graduating with my Digital Design Diploma from the Art Institute of Pittsburgh. This is extremely exciting and also pretty nerve-wracking. It forces me into the real world... or at least urges me to grow up and become an adult. I'm thankful that I want to "grow up". Honestly, when I started this program, I really had no intention of using it in the graphic design field. I figured, I would use it for myself with the books I want to write, posters for events I'm involved in, and just being able to say that I can do it. However, through this process I have fallen in love with Graphic Design. I love the field and the challenges that it brings me to. There is always a sense of "I have so much to learn", which pushes me to constantly become a better version of the "Graphic Designer Brennen". The desire for a career in Design has pleasantly surprised me.

     I've been on a job/ internship search for the past month. It's humbling. I've sent e-mails for opportunities and haven't heard anything back. I've looked at my portfolio comparing it to others and felt inadequate. Then other times, the confidence is full force. I'll have someone see some of my work and just stare at it and comment on how much they love it and how impressed they are with me.

     This it what I am learning...... It is okay to be turned down. It doesn't always feel the greatest at the time, but it's okay. I can't let one "no" stand in the way of a possibility for a "yes". When searching for a job- you have to keep pushing forward. Letting nothing stand in the way. One day, I have full confidence, that an opportunity so unique and fitting for me will arise. Yahweh, Jehovah Jireh is my Provider. He has my heart in mind.... and also my career.

     If you are in the same shoes I am in..... Going after your dreams.... Looking for the perfect opportunity.... Press on.... It's around the corner.... I just know it.

Giving

I absolutely love a giving heart. It amazes and humbles me. It's pretty easy to give when things are going great... but not so easy when you're penny pinching. This season is all about giving.... I follow an amazing photographer on facebook and she has decided to giveaway a camera. This amazes me... and excites me. Part of the reason for this blog post is so I can be entered to win. But the fact that she is giving a camera away also teaches me. It reminds me of how much fun giving can be. And also reminds me of how Christ gave himself to us. So much more to life than just going through the motions. Life is about making a difference. Jesus didn't die on the cross for us to sit back and go through the 9-5 white picket fence mumbo jumbo of life. He died so that we could have life and have it abundantly.

So live it up! Make a difference in someone's life today. Just like Oh So Posh Photography is. :) And.... pray that I win! :) I've been needing a new camera for a while.

You can visit her facebook page at http://www.facebook.com/OhSoPoshPhotography.

Her actions are pretty awesome.. I've been wanting to buy some recently. :)

Hurtful Words

I realized a few things tonight. For the past few months I have not been myself, or I have not been the best version of myself. I blame it on no one but myself. Truth: You decide how happy/ fulfilled/ and awesome your life is. Circumstances don't define it. Your attitude and choices do. I reaLized that I allowed someone to define me. I allowed this one persons hurtful words to mold my life. The words cut me to the core speaking directly to my fears. fears of being too young, not good enough, and never being able to be "make the cut". The words that were spoken didn't come out like that word for word. But they cut me to the core... And I allowed them to form an infected wound. Instead of standing on God's words about me- I allowed someone else's words to rule my life. Tonight- I believe that the Lord spoke to me. He told me that He would bring me through the fire and into the rain. And that He had my heart in mind. And He does. He believes in me, He doesn't see the age of 21 as a hinderence. He chooses me and wants to use me. Don't allow someone's words that have cut you down to shape who you become. Decide who you want to be... And be! You can be totally awesome and the best version of yourself if you choose to. Hold your chin up, and keep marching forward.

Say What You Need To Say.

     My heart is heavy while I write this blog post. Last night, I watched a movie (that I boo-hooed in the entire time) about parents loosing a child in a car wreck. Today, I heard about a young man in a high school that passed away. This world is not perfect and it doesn't always makes sense or seem fair. There are parts of it that hurt and tear at your heart. 

     I think that we can do a lot with the time that we do have with one another. Like John Mayer says, "Say what you need to say." Tell those around you how you feel. Tell them that you love them. Tell them they are pretty. Tell them that you like how they laugh. Tell them that the thought of loving them scares you. Or that you can't imagine not having them in your life. Tell them you could hug them all day. Tell them the things that you love about them. Tell them that you believe in them. Tell them......... that you care. 

     I never want to say that I didn't say what means the most. I never want people in my life to not know that I love, care, believe, and adore them. My life may hurt sometimes and things may not seem fair... but my words can change someone elses day. Be honest. Make the most of each and every day with those that you love. Love makes this world spin.... and it makes hearts full. 

Love. Tell that you love. Share that you love. Love. 

Rate This Rating Systems

I just spent some time flipping through random albums on iTunes. Randomly, I get in a mood where I want to find the underdog in the music industry and support them. The search began- previewing began- and then I ventured into the Customer Ratings section. I've decided- I don't like that section. It doesn't give you a chance to form your own opinion.  You already have preconceived ideas/ thoughts about that artist before you have even listened to 2 songs.

Sometimes, life is the same way. We are so eager to get everyone's opinions on what is going on in our lives that we never step back and form our own. We judge a book by it's cover. We won't take the time to peel back the layers and invest in getting to know someone, an organization, a product, or a group of people. What would happen if the 5 star rating system never came about? Sure, we'd have a few bad experiences. But what if, we found something so special and quaint that would have otherwise been overlooked because someone that came from a different path of life, different belief systems, different personality said they didn't like it.

I mean, I'm just saying. It's so hard for me to like things sometimes because I know other people don't. Reality! That is dumb. It's dumb that I let other people's opinions affect what music I like. This goes much farther than music. What about the guy at the lunch table that sits by himself? I know in high school I ignored him because I didn't want to "look" stupid. I don't even talk to the people that I might have "looked" stupid to. Now I not only look stupid but am stupid for not investing in his life.

The point is- stop rating people, organizations, products and invest in them. Invest the time to get to know them, allow grace for them to fail, and support them. Everyone needs someone to believe in them. You never know where these people will end up. There is something so beautiful and unique inside every individual.... sometimes it takes someone else taking the time to unveil it.