Say What You Need To Say.

     My heart is heavy while I write this blog post. Last night, I watched a movie (that I boo-hooed in the entire time) about parents loosing a child in a car wreck. Today, I heard about a young man in a high school that passed away. This world is not perfect and it doesn't always makes sense or seem fair. There are parts of it that hurt and tear at your heart. 

     I think that we can do a lot with the time that we do have with one another. Like John Mayer says, "Say what you need to say." Tell those around you how you feel. Tell them that you love them. Tell them they are pretty. Tell them that you like how they laugh. Tell them that the thought of loving them scares you. Or that you can't imagine not having them in your life. Tell them you could hug them all day. Tell them the things that you love about them. Tell them that you believe in them. Tell them......... that you care. 

     I never want to say that I didn't say what means the most. I never want people in my life to not know that I love, care, believe, and adore them. My life may hurt sometimes and things may not seem fair... but my words can change someone elses day. Be honest. Make the most of each and every day with those that you love. Love makes this world spin.... and it makes hearts full. 

Love. Tell that you love. Share that you love. Love. 

Rate This Rating Systems

I just spent some time flipping through random albums on iTunes. Randomly, I get in a mood where I want to find the underdog in the music industry and support them. The search began- previewing began- and then I ventured into the Customer Ratings section. I've decided- I don't like that section. It doesn't give you a chance to form your own opinion.  You already have preconceived ideas/ thoughts about that artist before you have even listened to 2 songs.

Sometimes, life is the same way. We are so eager to get everyone's opinions on what is going on in our lives that we never step back and form our own. We judge a book by it's cover. We won't take the time to peel back the layers and invest in getting to know someone, an organization, a product, or a group of people. What would happen if the 5 star rating system never came about? Sure, we'd have a few bad experiences. But what if, we found something so special and quaint that would have otherwise been overlooked because someone that came from a different path of life, different belief systems, different personality said they didn't like it.

I mean, I'm just saying. It's so hard for me to like things sometimes because I know other people don't. Reality! That is dumb. It's dumb that I let other people's opinions affect what music I like. This goes much farther than music. What about the guy at the lunch table that sits by himself? I know in high school I ignored him because I didn't want to "look" stupid. I don't even talk to the people that I might have "looked" stupid to. Now I not only look stupid but am stupid for not investing in his life.

The point is- stop rating people, organizations, products and invest in them. Invest the time to get to know them, allow grace for them to fail, and support them. Everyone needs someone to believe in them. You never know where these people will end up. There is something so beautiful and unique inside every individual.... sometimes it takes someone else taking the time to unveil it.

My Vision Statement.

Where's your heart? Where's your passion? Why aren't you going after the things you are called to do? 

These are the questions I've been asking myself lately. It is so easy to get caught up in life that we put our hopes, dreams, and passions to the side. Let it never be said of me- that I didn't fight for my passions. This is a vow I make to you, I will fight for my passions. I will pursue my Lord and Savior and follow Him wherever He leads me. And I will always fight for what He put in this heart. 

My heart is full and expectant for what the Lord is calling me into. I may not know the exact step I am to take- but I know it doesn't include me putting my passions on the sideline. 

My dream of becoming a wife to a honorable and holy man of God will be covered in prayer and fasting. My hopes of being a published writer on a realistic, down-to-earth, say it like it is- Purity book will be covered in hard work and direct downloads from my Abba. My life-long passion for children will be cultivated until the day that I have my own. My pursuit of being a friend- a good friend- will be spent over good food and talks about what really matters. My dream of speaking and teaching on purity and holiness will be prepared and cultivated by a life at the altar and in the secret place with my Father. It will be prepared through the small one-on-one opportunities I have to pour into others. My love for overseas missions will be a priority in my life. A priority of putting God first and others second. My heart for seeing Heaven invade earth will include boldness and living a life of prayer. My heart to see the church be the church will be soaked in a desire to break the life of mediocrity and to step into the fullness of who He is. 

This life is not my own. I plan to change things and be the best Brennen that I can be. When God speaks, I will obey. I will protect and honor the things He has placed in my life and in my heart. I will fight for the things He longs for. I will stand in the gap. I will intercede. I will love. 

I share my heart with you to urge you. Where's your heart. I want to hear it. I want to see you live it out. I want to see you fight for it. 

There is something beautiful about people attempting the impossible. There is such beauty in the attempt. Sure we may mess up and fall. Heck, I've been writing this book for a year and only have 4 pages written. That doesn't mean I throw in the towel. That means I start writing. That means I pick myself up, dust myself off, and keep walking. He's calling you forward. He's calling you to more. Where's your heart? 

I wrote this without realizing that it's my vision statement. I have sat down before to write out my vision statement and it never came out. Not until I began to write about my passions and desires did my vision / mission statement come out. Put the pen to the paper- and write out your goals, passions, and desires. You just might end up with your Vision Statement written out. 

Grace in Growth.

     Life is not always easy. In fact- life involves change, transition, and sometimes a few bumps along the way. I'm not necessarily used to bumps that clog my mind up. Of course, problems come up- but I can normally make a decision and be on with it. However, I have found myself in a series of "bumps" where I seem to constantly be in a battle in my head. If that doesn't make sense to you, let me keep explaining.
     People let you down, you let yourself down, you make bad decisions, you make good decisions other people don't agree with, your bank account is way too low for comfort, you can't seem to find what you are supposed to do, you still live with your parents, school is almost over which means student loans are going to have to be paid, your car's AC goes out, and you feel like you can't get in your purpose. Okay, so maybe that isn't what you are going through- but that's my head right now. I'll be completely transparent with my blog readers. My life has been difficult lately. Not on the outside- but on the inside. I have had to bite my tongue, watch my actions, and constantly take thoughts captive lately. I have felt dried up. However, it isn't the normal "dried up" feeling. The one where I haven't been praying or reading my Bible and that is all that takes to fix it. But a "dried up" to reality kind of dried up. I'm at the end of myself in making decisions on my life. And I'm really not sure where I'm supposed to go, what I'm supposed to do, or how I am supposed to do it.
     I know what I'm supposed to do- it's just a matter of doing it. It'd be much easier to run away, quit, and give up- but it's sticking it out and figuring it out through listening to the Lord that I need to do. I'm not really for sure the protocol for fixing a bumpy road other than Jesus. I have to keep my Yes to the Lord so loud that I don't have to worry about saying no to the things of the world. (Damon Thompson tidbit) I have to keep pressing on doing the things that I know the Lord has told me to do. I have to keep in His Word. Keep praying. Keep seeking the Lord's face.
     The other day I was working out the whole broken AC in my car ordeal and I kept hearing the Lord say, "My grace is sufficient." (And it totally is). What I had forgotten was what else accompanied that excerpt from scripture. The entire verse goes on to say that His power is made perfect in weakness. That is exactly what I have to keep telling myself.... His power can come through me when I am weak. So with that- I will rejoice in the fact that I am a human. I am in a season of my life where I'm not at my strongest- but the Lord can be strong for me. He can handle my battles. He can handle my weakness. He isn't scared of me.... He just wants to see me grow. Just like He is pushing you to be a better you- He is pushing Brennen to be the best Brennen I can be. We are never to a point where we can throw in the towel. We gotta keep moving, keep pressing, and keep seeking.

There is grace in growth.
Grace. Grace. Grace.

I end this blog with a quote from a movie I watched today, Soul Surfer, "When you get in the impact zone, get back up, because you never know what is over the next wave."

Restoration and Downtown Buildings

     I have two of the coolest bosses in Owensboro. (Actually, in the world.) Larry and Rosemary Conder. Two of the sweetest and most generous people I have met. I admire them for so much and one thing that they do (that is so cool) is they restore downtown buildings. They take run down, beaten up, nasty buildings and turn them into something beautiful. They are rebuilding quite a few buildings downtown for business and condo/apartments currently in Owensboro. Everything that they work on downtown ends up absolutely beautiful and accomplished in excellence.
     I was thinking this week on how great of a job they do at restoring buildings and the Lord spoke to me and said, "Nothing is too old, beaten down, or ugly to restore." It hit me. Nothing is too difficult for the Lord. While the Conder's specialize in buildings the Lord specializes in people. He can take the most rotten individual and with enough work, rebuilding, and change  they have the possibility of turning into delightful individuals. He believes in you and sees your potential. Psalm 51:7 says, "Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean; wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow." The Lord desires to restore his children. He wants to see them come back into His plan, be cleaned out, wiped clean, and given an opportunity to shine. He wants His children to shine. When Rosemary goes and looks at a building I am sure she doesn't think, "What can I do with these broken windows and walls with holes." Instead she thinks, "These windows can be replaced with some windows I saw the other day that were so pretty. We can move that wall this way so we can build an apartment."
     We need to see the potential in ourselves and begin a walk of rebuilding and restoration. I don't have a 5 step plan..... I just know to seek God, pray, and marinate yourself with His scriptures. It's never too late to turn into something beautiful. Not for a building, and not even for a person. Now is the time.

While working at the coffeehouse, the Conders have taught me several things. I thought I'd share! :)

1. Always look at potential and not what you initially see. 

2. Hard work pays off.

3. Give generously.

4. It's okay to have maintenance work. Just fix it right the second time. 

5. Work hard. You are never too dressed up to work hard. (I have watched Rosemary work in heels and Sorreli jewlery. Impressive.)

6. You just do what you have to do. They never relent, even when they are sleepy. 

7. Love the people around you. Rebuilding buildings isn't worth it without loving the people that come into them afterwards. 

8. Help others accomplish their dreams. I've been blessed with Rosemary in my life- she pushes me to get out of my comfort zone and excel in the things I'm called to. 

9. Share your stories and laugh. 

10. Enjoy life. See the good in every situation. 

Burn.

     The world does not need you to be an every-day "American" Christian. The mundane, medirocre and sad excuse for Christianity must end. This world doesn't need it. It's actually hurting it more than it is helping the world. The world needs you on fire for the things of God. They need you to be burning. They need you to be passionate. They need to see you live out a relentless pursuit for the things of God. The glory of God must be our focus. And if you can say you are pursuing that while marking off your check-list of "I didn't cuss today. Check. I didn't get drunk today. Check. I kept my cool instead of socking a guy in the face. Check." Those days are over. It doesn't pass for enough for God.
     Actually, God detests it. If you are living a mediocre lifestyle for God- he isn't pleased one bit. He actually wants to throw you up. (Rev. 3:16) I am so sick of being scared of being a "fanatic" for the Lord. I refuse to step down to the world's standard of Christian. I refuse to sit in the same seat every week, putting a polite smile on my face, and clapping at the good performance, and shaking hands and living a mundane & boring lifestyle. Damon Thompson hits on this a lot.... and since I've been listening to his podcasts quite frequently that's probably where this stems from. But- he says this often, "God is not boring. You are boring." How can the God of this universe who created stars and people be boring? He can't! He isn't! He is not boring!
     Once you begin to taste the reality of who God is, hear His whispers in Your ears, live a life of faith and stepping into the things He has for you, and ultimately laying your life down so that He can lift you up and pull you into a life that is better than any high from this world- you will realize that He isn't boring.
     The only way I know how to tell you to start to burn is to choose to burn. If you haven't been in church or been in the word in a while that's fine..... dry wood burns better. You have to simply begin to pursue the Living God. Get in His word. Surround yourself with people that burn. (There's a whole group at PromiselandMetro Church :D) Worship Him. Find Him in the everyday things.
     That's my favorite thing about Him. He is in my everyday activities. He speaks to me through every-day life. He can make food an analogy of the things of God to me. I can run into a door and He'll speak to me. You can read about it here.
     The bottom line is this. Jesus and His disciples were not ordinary people. They didn't get up, go to work, come home, sleep and repeat. They lived it out. They couldn't contain themselves. They laid hands on the sick- and they were healed. They fed the hungry. Clothed the naked. They loved to do the work of the Father. They served. Your works don't save you- but they could touch someone else who ends up falling in love with their Creator because they saw you live it out.
     Once you start to burn. Burn confidently. Your confidence in your burning will push others into burning. They will see that you can burn, be a crazy person that loves the Lord, be a fanatic, be  radical and still be confident. You don't have to hide the fact that you love the Lord.

     Burn!!! The worlds needs you to burn for the things of God. They need to see that God is who He says He is and that He will do what He says He will do. They need to know who to go to for answers. They'll go to the burning ones- because they know they can count on them to be on their faces in prayer for them in times of need and trouble. And that they will be beside them rejoicing in the good times. Get on fire! Live it out.

Basketball & Snickers. Just Believe.

     I am so blessed by some of the connections I have, especially blessed by my connection to Madison, Mississippi. Two weeks ago I took off on my summer adventure. Camp Leader for RAMP for Metro's youth for the first of the week then jumping on a flight to come to Mississippi to help out THE Terre Jasper. THE Terre Jasper is the Children's Pastor for Pinelake Church in MS, she was also my youth leader at Bellevue for my entire Middle and High school years. I came to MS to visit, but also to help out with her Kids Week. My life is forever changed.
     I have grown up in church and have been on plenty of mission trips and helped out with numerous camps an I have found that it's normally one child that changes my life. And that's exactly what happened this week. His name will remained unmentioned. But he was not my easiest child, he was actually my most difficult. He didn't behave, he had a bad attitude, and he didn't have a respect for authority. All three of those things clash BIG time with me. After the first day I was pretty frustrated that he was on my basketball team with 6 other 2nd/3rd graders. The Lord spoke to me while attempting to punish him and told me to not give up.
     I began to disect and pick apart his actions and behavior. After he bit my assistant coach, I decided it was time to chat. I began to ask him about his home life.... and it finally hit me. He was always acting defeated because he grows up in an atmosphere where no one believes in him. Tears were at the edge of my eyeballs and instead of making him sit out, I made him hug me. Not a short hug. But a hug. A hug from your g-ma that hasn't seen ya in a while. I hugged, hugged, and hugged the poor child. He looked at me and said, "Miss. Brennen, why you hugging me!?" And I told him I loved him and believed in him.

Everyone needs someone to believe in them. Everyone needs someone to love them. 

     That's what this precious child taught me. I ended up bribing him to behave. I have no idea if that was the correct thing to do, but he was amazed that I would spend a dollar on a yellow snickers. Bless his heart, he couldn't make it the last day and didn't even get it. But, I hope that I left him with something way better than a Snickers. (You know that's gotta be good.) I pray I left him with hope and that he knows someone believes in him. Even if they live in Ky. You better believe that on our last day together when he improved  17 points on his "HotShot" score I was jumping up and down like a proud momma.

Who are you believing in? Who was the last person you hugged and told them how much they meant to you? Reach out. Three days of playing basketball with a child who doesn't behave changed my life.