Tomorrow I was supposed to have my Honda packed up and heading back to good ol' Owensboro. Today marks the last day of an amazing summer interning at Elevation in Charlotte, NC. However, Jesus pleasantly surprised me and I have fallen in love with what God is doing through Elevation. I am also honored to have the privilege to stay on as a lead intern with eStudents for the fall semester. Kentucky- it looks like God has me in North Carolina. And I'm okay with that.
This summer has been absolutely amazing. Words really can not do it justice. I have had a phenomenal summer of hard work, fun times, serving, worshipping, learning, being stretched, slurpee runs, late night fun, amazing friendships and watching God work. It has been crazy to hear life change stories directly from guests & volunteers at Elevation. Having the opportunity to intern at Elevation is incredible. I am surrounded by top notch people who will do anything to get the job done so that people far from God will be raised to life in Christ. I have never met a more talented and passionate group of people. Waking up on Monday mornings is a joy... going into work expecting God to do something amazing everyday never gets old.
I have created relationships within my internship family that will last me a life time. Several of them- I was by no means ready to let go of. (I still secretly pray that they'll be back!) My intern family meant so much to me- they were there when tragedy hit me twice. They sent me home (on intern budgets- this means THE WORLD) to be with friends and family when Michael passed away. They were/ are my prayer support. They have taught me so much about myself, life, and Jesus. They have shown me Jesus in their daily lives. We've walked through an intense season of life together. I'll never take that for granted.
When writing this blog I keep thinking that I need to put what "I've been doing" while I'm here. But that really isn't the point.... Being an intern isn't about a list of accomplishments. It's about being involved in something that is greater than the part I play. It's about in all of the normal day to day tasks- I am doing it for a greater cause. So that people far from God will be raised to life in Christ. When you fully grasp that in your heart- you suddenly don't care what you're doing..... you just want to play a part.
I will say that I'm sad to see this season end... watching some of the people that mean the world to me get in their cars and head to their homes/ colleges was the hardest thing I've done in a while. But I rest assured that Jesus is constantly doing immeasurably more than I could think or imagine. (Eph. 3:20) He has a plan for their lives that will impact the world. He also has a plan for my life... I will step boldly, confidently, and humbly into this next season. Ready to learn, be stretched, and pour myself out so I can be used by God. Another 16 weeks as an Intern sounds like a wonderful plan that was handwritten from God. I'm excited to see what He does. :)
Sunday, August 19, 2012
Sunday, June 17, 2012
Dad.
Being separated by a 10 hour drive, I thought I'd get creative on my Daddy's Father Day gift. As you can now tell, it's a blog post. A post that I will struggle to find the words to do my father justice. A post that may cause me to be a little homesick tonight. A post, that I'm sure my dad will read and have tears running down his face. (Real men cry.) A post that one day my husband will be forced to read. A post.... for him. My dad. My favorite man in this entire world.
Background on my dad: Billy Joe Gaddis. Loves the Lord. Love my mom like CRAZY. Loves his beauty queens (this includes my brother). Loves people. Loves dirt work. HILARIOUS.
When I look back on my childhood the thing that has remained consistent is this: my dad is hilarious. He can make me go from ticked off to cracking up in a matter of 10 seconds. He can brighten my day with one corny joke. He has this unique ability to make anyone he comes in contact with laugh.
Except: the nurse at Dr. Yeiser's office... when he took me to the doctor. I think I was around 16 years old and mom was busy with work and couldn't take me to the doctor. So dad came and got me and took me. We were called back and I had to get on the scale. I weighed around 130 pounds at the time and so when I stepped on the lady took the weight to 100 and was moving the smaller scale down, she got to 150 and had to move the bigger weight up. At that point I looked at dad and he was about to burst. I then looked down and realized dad had his foot on the scale the entire time forcing the weight to be incorrect. Him and I start to laugh (Gaddis style laughs: loud) and looked at the nurse..... who was not laughing. :) Dr. Yeiser thought it was historical.
Another thing about my Dad is that I never asked if he had to go to work. I always knew he would be working. He is the HARDEST working guy I've ever met. When he had his own business he would leave way before I woke up and would come home later at night. I'd hear his truck (always red & only a Ford) come up the driveway and he'd stop and let me ride on the side of it. He always provided for us. Even when work was slower he would find jobs to provide for his family. When he shattered his elbow- he still goubd ways to work when he could and provide for his fanily. He ruined my ability to think a guy was a man if he didn't drive a big red truck. I'm finally realizing that men can drive cars. :)
My Father is also one of the most caring men I know. He has taught me to love unconditionally and give generously. I still remember the time him and I jumped in his truck (I was in elementary school) and we went and bout 100 hamburgers at McDonalds. I was amazed that this man was going to feed all of these kids at our house. But it's how he is. He loves to help others out. If it's not giving away something then it's helping them with his time and his abilities. I have learned to pick up other people's checks and always ask if I can get something for someone from my dad.
My Dad is also stubborn. And I've learned from him well. While this isn't always a good thing..... it can definitely be a great thing. He never let me quit. (Except for violin.... which I don't blame him... I sucked and he had to listen to it.) But, he always pushed me to keep going and to never quit something I started. He taught me to be stubborn with the right things. To be unwavering in my love for Christ.
He has taught me that I am a princess. Always opening my door. Always dropping me off at the front door. Always telling me that I look pretty. I never wondered if I was enough growing up. My dad constantly told me. I always knew he loved me. For that, my husband has big shoes to fill. I remember I rode with a friend to a restaurant and I asked if he was going to drop me off at the front door, and he laughed at me. I told my dad... and my dad laughed at him. He has set the bar high and for that I am grateful.
All of the things I've shared are awesome... but the best thing he has ever done for me is this. Love the Lord with all of his heart and then love my mom as Christ loves the church. He has set an example for loving Jesus and showing Jesus through every day life. And he loves my mother. I never worry if they will separate. He is intentional about spending time with mom and encourages her. I've never heard him cut her down or yell at her. Through him doing this- he has provided stability and comfort.
So Dad, thank you. There's so much more that I love and appreciate about you. Words really can't do it justice. Happy Father's Day to my favorite man. Love you always. Bren Bren.
Background on my dad: Billy Joe Gaddis. Loves the Lord. Love my mom like CRAZY. Loves his beauty queens (this includes my brother). Loves people. Loves dirt work. HILARIOUS.
When I look back on my childhood the thing that has remained consistent is this: my dad is hilarious. He can make me go from ticked off to cracking up in a matter of 10 seconds. He can brighten my day with one corny joke. He has this unique ability to make anyone he comes in contact with laugh.
Except: the nurse at Dr. Yeiser's office... when he took me to the doctor. I think I was around 16 years old and mom was busy with work and couldn't take me to the doctor. So dad came and got me and took me. We were called back and I had to get on the scale. I weighed around 130 pounds at the time and so when I stepped on the lady took the weight to 100 and was moving the smaller scale down, she got to 150 and had to move the bigger weight up. At that point I looked at dad and he was about to burst. I then looked down and realized dad had his foot on the scale the entire time forcing the weight to be incorrect. Him and I start to laugh (Gaddis style laughs: loud) and looked at the nurse..... who was not laughing. :) Dr. Yeiser thought it was historical.
Another thing about my Dad is that I never asked if he had to go to work. I always knew he would be working. He is the HARDEST working guy I've ever met. When he had his own business he would leave way before I woke up and would come home later at night. I'd hear his truck (always red & only a Ford) come up the driveway and he'd stop and let me ride on the side of it. He always provided for us. Even when work was slower he would find jobs to provide for his family. When he shattered his elbow- he still goubd ways to work when he could and provide for his fanily. He ruined my ability to think a guy was a man if he didn't drive a big red truck. I'm finally realizing that men can drive cars. :)
My Father is also one of the most caring men I know. He has taught me to love unconditionally and give generously. I still remember the time him and I jumped in his truck (I was in elementary school) and we went and bout 100 hamburgers at McDonalds. I was amazed that this man was going to feed all of these kids at our house. But it's how he is. He loves to help others out. If it's not giving away something then it's helping them with his time and his abilities. I have learned to pick up other people's checks and always ask if I can get something for someone from my dad.
My Dad is also stubborn. And I've learned from him well. While this isn't always a good thing..... it can definitely be a great thing. He never let me quit. (Except for violin.... which I don't blame him... I sucked and he had to listen to it.) But, he always pushed me to keep going and to never quit something I started. He taught me to be stubborn with the right things. To be unwavering in my love for Christ.
He has taught me that I am a princess. Always opening my door. Always dropping me off at the front door. Always telling me that I look pretty. I never wondered if I was enough growing up. My dad constantly told me. I always knew he loved me. For that, my husband has big shoes to fill. I remember I rode with a friend to a restaurant and I asked if he was going to drop me off at the front door, and he laughed at me. I told my dad... and my dad laughed at him. He has set the bar high and for that I am grateful.
All of the things I've shared are awesome... but the best thing he has ever done for me is this. Love the Lord with all of his heart and then love my mom as Christ loves the church. He has set an example for loving Jesus and showing Jesus through every day life. And he loves my mother. I never worry if they will separate. He is intentional about spending time with mom and encourages her. I've never heard him cut her down or yell at her. Through him doing this- he has provided stability and comfort.
So Dad, thank you. There's so much more that I love and appreciate about you. Words really can't do it justice. Happy Father's Day to my favorite man. Love you always. Bren Bren.
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
Grace Beats Accomplishments
I was driving in my car and received some exciting news from a friend. News I should be excited about. And I was. But I was also pretty jealous. After ending the phone call, I started thinking/ praying, "Lord, Why don't I get that? I've done....." And you can fill in the blanks. I gave my list of "accomplishments" to the Lord wondering where my reward was. My competitiveness came out.
His still voice rang in my head, "Brennen, when are you going to realize that I don't base rewards off of performance. You don't receive from me because of what you've done. I give because I love you, not by your accomplishments." He continued to confirm that He will provide in His perfect timing and that He has my heart in mind.
Even when it seems that everyone else is getting their perfect life together and you feel like you are failing or that God isn't providing... that it isn't based on what you've done. He paid it all on the cross. We can't "pay" for anything. It's already done. We live by grace. (Honestly, we would't want it to be based on fairness. I'd be hell eternally separated if that was the case.) The Lord's timing is perfect. He brings us through seasons of times.. there will be trials and temptations... but that never changes God's capability to provide for his sons and daughters. Grace beats accomplishments any day.
Rest well that He cares for you. He hasn't forgotten you.
His still voice rang in my head, "Brennen, when are you going to realize that I don't base rewards off of performance. You don't receive from me because of what you've done. I give because I love you, not by your accomplishments." He continued to confirm that He will provide in His perfect timing and that He has my heart in mind.
Even when it seems that everyone else is getting their perfect life together and you feel like you are failing or that God isn't providing... that it isn't based on what you've done. He paid it all on the cross. We can't "pay" for anything. It's already done. We live by grace. (Honestly, we would't want it to be based on fairness. I'd be hell eternally separated if that was the case.) The Lord's timing is perfect. He brings us through seasons of times.. there will be trials and temptations... but that never changes God's capability to provide for his sons and daughters. Grace beats accomplishments any day.
Rest well that He cares for you. He hasn't forgotten you.
Elevation Update Weeks 1-3ish
I've started this blog a couple of time, and have erased several times. I simply don't know how to even begin to describe my first, now close to third week as an Elevation Intern. It has been life-changing, intense, sweet, fun, hard, and so much more. I've met a multitude of elevators, staff, and interns. Our intern group is massive in and of itself. We have (about) 27 interns that I get to spend the summer with. Amazing. There is never a dull moment. I live with 2 of the girls at the greatest host home ever. Glenda and Bill (mom and dad for the summer) are truly an amazing couple of God. They have graciously opened up their home to us. My supervisor, Gene Lakey, is super nice, encouraging and a great leader at Elevation. I'm honored to serve under him.
This week we have: completed a 6 mile history walk, served at One7, dance party for healing, was able to sit in on teaching from Pastor Steven, listened to stories of fellow interns, served at a local high school, hot sauce, and survived Body By Buck.
The second week began to work on a few projects, moved more pipe and drape, learned processes, helped put on a student event, received teaching from several staff (amazing opportunity), took tons of notes and so much more.
This week, two days in, still going strong on our no sugar, 5 vegetables, 80 oz of water, 7 hours of sleep, and 30-45 mins of exercise. I'm dropping weight.... this is a good thing. I'm finally getting healthy. :) I have been continuing to work with students, stretching myself to think creatively, sat in on teaching from 6 wise men of God, laughed, built relationships, enjoyed eGroup, seriously the list goes on and on.
I love waking up in the morning. I love going to work. I love stretching myself. I love that I am being challenged- that people are pulling out the best in me. It's such an intense and amazing summer already. I love this. I love that God is faithful. He is close. He loves me. He cares for me.
He loves you. He cares for you. Stretch yourself where you are. Grow. Deepen your relationship with your Heavenly Father and with those around you. Be love. Be Jesus to those around.
Love. B.
This week we have: completed a 6 mile history walk, served at One7, dance party for healing, was able to sit in on teaching from Pastor Steven, listened to stories of fellow interns, served at a local high school, hot sauce, and survived Body By Buck.
The second week began to work on a few projects, moved more pipe and drape, learned processes, helped put on a student event, received teaching from several staff (amazing opportunity), took tons of notes and so much more.
This week, two days in, still going strong on our no sugar, 5 vegetables, 80 oz of water, 7 hours of sleep, and 30-45 mins of exercise. I'm dropping weight.... this is a good thing. I'm finally getting healthy. :) I have been continuing to work with students, stretching myself to think creatively, sat in on teaching from 6 wise men of God, laughed, built relationships, enjoyed eGroup, seriously the list goes on and on.
I love waking up in the morning. I love going to work. I love stretching myself. I love that I am being challenged- that people are pulling out the best in me. It's such an intense and amazing summer already. I love this. I love that God is faithful. He is close. He loves me. He cares for me.
He loves you. He cares for you. Stretch yourself where you are. Grow. Deepen your relationship with your Heavenly Father and with those around you. Be love. Be Jesus to those around.
Love. B.
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Interrupting & Bombarding
One of the jobs that I work is making airline reservations for a small airline. I sit at a desk, answer phones all day, and make or change reservations along with answering many questions for customers. When making a reservation there is a certain process that my computer program makes me go through before I can put other information into the computer. For example, I can't look at the times of flights without knowing if it's roundtrip, the dates, and a few other important parts of the puzzle. Each screen is predesigned and doesn't let me get into the other without all the necessary information.
I am amazed at numerous customers who will interrupt me walking them through the process to try to speed it up. They want to load all of their information on me at once without me asking for it thinking it will help. Often times, when I try to explain that I can't put that information in yet they go ahead and talk over me and say what they need to say first.
Honestly, it's a very draining and frustrating process. Today, I had a customer who consistently would ask a question and before I could get an answer out would interrupt me with another question or some random piece of information. While I was becoming irritated and having to speak a littler more firmly (while maintaining politeness) I had an ephiphany. The lightbulb in my head went off.
How often I must be this customer with my Heavenly Father. Asking him question after question after question, giving him information, and bombarding him but never leaving him room to walk me through the process, calm my fears, and speak truth to me. I don't even give him room to say anything to me. I just bombard into my prayer time ranting prayers and frustrations to him and then close him off to run and do the next thing on my list.
How differently the process would be if I would be still and listen. I've had several people ask me what the voice of God sounds like...... I would say it sounds like a lot. Sometimes its a quite whisper. Sometimes- it's something that my friend says. Other times, a knowing in my spirit. And many times, it comes directly from His word. We must not allow the busyness of the day to take over the quiet moments when God is trying to speak to us. I must learn to be silent.
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Weakness
Jesus makes us perfect in our weakness. I've never understood this. I've always despised weakness. I have always wanted to be the best, the fastest, the smartest, the toughest, and the one who CAN do it. I've never understood the strength in weakness until this past month. I've learned through myself and also through one of my friends.
I've been in a vulnerable place in my life- with myself. I am finally to a point where I am "over myself" and truly ready to live a life of abandonment to the will of the Father. However, with that comes some hard stuff to deal with. I have realized some characteristics that I posses that aren't holy or pleasing to God. They are characteristics that were meant to bring good not harm and I have thwarted them to hurt and sting people. There are characteristics about myself that I have done a good job at cultivating but have pushed to the side and not let out of me. Life can be difficult and in the past I've made myself look at it as if I'm going to conquer it. In reality- the Lord wants me to learn, grow, nurture, and become who I am intended to be. But a lifelong calling breeds a life long lifestyle of cultivating who I am intended to be by my Heavenly Father. Life is not meant to be conquered, but lived.
I have had to open myself up to hurt, heartache, and pain to realize some things about myself. I've prayed for certain situations in my life where I was the one who was in the wrong. I've pointed fingers when I truly was the problem. There have been other circumstances where the Lord has shown me that I was "right" but just because I was "right" didn't give me the freedom to use it against people.
Being in these circumstances has brought me to a place where I truly have to rely on the Lord for my confidence, my hope, my trust, and my strength. This morning I was almost in tears because I was frustrated that I have to work on SO much in my life. The Lord quieted my soul- and told me that His strength will hold me up, will get me through, and that He just wants me to seek Him. In seeking Him I will find Him. In finding Him I will find myself. In finding myself- I will become the woman God has called me to be.
I have a friend who is the strongest woman I've ever met. She has faced adversity, hardship, unfairness, and hurt with strength and courage. She has taken steps back to take steps forward. Although she feels weak and like she can't do anything right- I look at her with respect and honor. Because she is doing something that is hard. She is facing life- head on. And walking through it to become who she was originally designed to become. She amazes me. She encourages me- simply through her weakness. I truly see the Lord coming through with strength in her life.
If you are facing weakness. It's okay. It's okay to not always be peachy and everything perfect. It's okay to not have it together. It's a lifelong journey of becoming and nurturing who YOU are supposed to be. Keep walking forward. Every step forward is something. It's okay to mess up. Just get back up. It's okay to cry, get angry, and throw a fit. Just get back up.... don't make excuses. Face life and live it. In your weakness He WILL make you strong. His strength will be your source.
His strength is my source.
I've been in a vulnerable place in my life- with myself. I am finally to a point where I am "over myself" and truly ready to live a life of abandonment to the will of the Father. However, with that comes some hard stuff to deal with. I have realized some characteristics that I posses that aren't holy or pleasing to God. They are characteristics that were meant to bring good not harm and I have thwarted them to hurt and sting people. There are characteristics about myself that I have done a good job at cultivating but have pushed to the side and not let out of me. Life can be difficult and in the past I've made myself look at it as if I'm going to conquer it. In reality- the Lord wants me to learn, grow, nurture, and become who I am intended to be. But a lifelong calling breeds a life long lifestyle of cultivating who I am intended to be by my Heavenly Father. Life is not meant to be conquered, but lived.
I have had to open myself up to hurt, heartache, and pain to realize some things about myself. I've prayed for certain situations in my life where I was the one who was in the wrong. I've pointed fingers when I truly was the problem. There have been other circumstances where the Lord has shown me that I was "right" but just because I was "right" didn't give me the freedom to use it against people.
Being in these circumstances has brought me to a place where I truly have to rely on the Lord for my confidence, my hope, my trust, and my strength. This morning I was almost in tears because I was frustrated that I have to work on SO much in my life. The Lord quieted my soul- and told me that His strength will hold me up, will get me through, and that He just wants me to seek Him. In seeking Him I will find Him. In finding Him I will find myself. In finding myself- I will become the woman God has called me to be.
I have a friend who is the strongest woman I've ever met. She has faced adversity, hardship, unfairness, and hurt with strength and courage. She has taken steps back to take steps forward. Although she feels weak and like she can't do anything right- I look at her with respect and honor. Because she is doing something that is hard. She is facing life- head on. And walking through it to become who she was originally designed to become. She amazes me. She encourages me- simply through her weakness. I truly see the Lord coming through with strength in her life.
If you are facing weakness. It's okay. It's okay to not always be peachy and everything perfect. It's okay to not have it together. It's a lifelong journey of becoming and nurturing who YOU are supposed to be. Keep walking forward. Every step forward is something. It's okay to mess up. Just get back up. It's okay to cry, get angry, and throw a fit. Just get back up.... don't make excuses. Face life and live it. In your weakness He WILL make you strong. His strength will be your source.
His strength is my source.
Monday, March 5, 2012
Midst of Chaos
In the midst of chaos, I choose You, Jesus. Those are the words that are getting me through today. I keep trying to make this blog post something more than it needs to be by thinking of a story- or a connection to somehow make this better. But after several failed attempts this is what I have to share today:
In the midst of the chaos of my life, I'm going to choose Jesus. He is my Rock. My Rescue. My Lover. My Joy. My Peace. My Life. He is more than capable of speaking through the chaos of graduating school, job searching, frustration in current job, stretched schedule, procrastination, life, and my stubborn self. He is not chaos. He is constant. Consistent. Never- Ending. And He loves me and believes in me. He has my life mapped out- He's a gentleman- He will open the doors for me where needed and close the ones where I'm not needed. He is not chaos. And I am thankful for that.
"Now I know that the Lord saves His anointed; He will answer him from His holy heaven with the saving might of his right hand." Ps. 20:6
Hang on to His promises. He will come through. He has your heart in mind. He loves you- even in the midst of your chaos.
In the midst of the chaos of my life, I'm going to choose Jesus. He is my Rock. My Rescue. My Lover. My Joy. My Peace. My Life. He is more than capable of speaking through the chaos of graduating school, job searching, frustration in current job, stretched schedule, procrastination, life, and my stubborn self. He is not chaos. He is constant. Consistent. Never- Ending. And He loves me and believes in me. He has my life mapped out- He's a gentleman- He will open the doors for me where needed and close the ones where I'm not needed. He is not chaos. And I am thankful for that.
"Now I know that the Lord saves His anointed; He will answer him from His holy heaven with the saving might of his right hand." Ps. 20:6
Hang on to His promises. He will come through. He has your heart in mind. He loves you- even in the midst of your chaos.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)