My Vision Statement.

Where's your heart? Where's your passion? Why aren't you going after the things you are called to do? 

These are the questions I've been asking myself lately. It is so easy to get caught up in life that we put our hopes, dreams, and passions to the side. Let it never be said of me- that I didn't fight for my passions. This is a vow I make to you, I will fight for my passions. I will pursue my Lord and Savior and follow Him wherever He leads me. And I will always fight for what He put in this heart. 

My heart is full and expectant for what the Lord is calling me into. I may not know the exact step I am to take- but I know it doesn't include me putting my passions on the sideline. 

My dream of becoming a wife to a honorable and holy man of God will be covered in prayer and fasting. My hopes of being a published writer on a realistic, down-to-earth, say it like it is- Purity book will be covered in hard work and direct downloads from my Abba. My life-long passion for children will be cultivated until the day that I have my own. My pursuit of being a friend- a good friend- will be spent over good food and talks about what really matters. My dream of speaking and teaching on purity and holiness will be prepared and cultivated by a life at the altar and in the secret place with my Father. It will be prepared through the small one-on-one opportunities I have to pour into others. My love for overseas missions will be a priority in my life. A priority of putting God first and others second. My heart for seeing Heaven invade earth will include boldness and living a life of prayer. My heart to see the church be the church will be soaked in a desire to break the life of mediocrity and to step into the fullness of who He is. 

This life is not my own. I plan to change things and be the best Brennen that I can be. When God speaks, I will obey. I will protect and honor the things He has placed in my life and in my heart. I will fight for the things He longs for. I will stand in the gap. I will intercede. I will love. 

I share my heart with you to urge you. Where's your heart. I want to hear it. I want to see you live it out. I want to see you fight for it. 

There is something beautiful about people attempting the impossible. There is such beauty in the attempt. Sure we may mess up and fall. Heck, I've been writing this book for a year and only have 4 pages written. That doesn't mean I throw in the towel. That means I start writing. That means I pick myself up, dust myself off, and keep walking. He's calling you forward. He's calling you to more. Where's your heart? 

I wrote this without realizing that it's my vision statement. I have sat down before to write out my vision statement and it never came out. Not until I began to write about my passions and desires did my vision / mission statement come out. Put the pen to the paper- and write out your goals, passions, and desires. You just might end up with your Vision Statement written out. 

A Preview of My Book...

As I write these very words I think about my husband. It’s pretty often that the subject of love and relationships are brought up in my everyday life. I work with the public and many of them ask about my purity ring when I hand them their change. Or they want to know a little about my life and ask if I have a boyfriend. And for some reason I get nervous. I suppose it’s because I think that they won’t think I am “cool” because I’ve really never had a real boyfriend. Granted, I’ve had a few guys I’ve hung out with and spent (too much) time with, but never have I been asked,  “Will you be my girlfriend?”. So when I am asked about this subject I almost cower.  The other day I found myself doing that very thing, when I checked myself. Turned my attitude around and proudly said, “I’m waiting for my husband.”

            There is no shame in your purity.  9.5 times out of 10 after I tell someone that I have never had sex or came close to having sex they react with a great deal of respect. Shock is also normally involved in their response, and some people think I am lying. I urge you, to never, ever, do what I have done; cowering or thinking that you aren’t cool because you are waiting for your husband. You are so beyond awesome for waiting for your future spouse. And if you have messed up, no worries- there is so much grace for you. God loves you and is still proud of you. Stand up, dust yourself off, and stay pure. J

            Growing up I always wondered if something was wrong with me. I was the twin that never had the boyfriend. I would be Chelsea’s third wheel so she could hang out with her boyfriend. I would painfully stare out the window longing to be loved. I wondered if I wasn’t pretty enough, funny enough, perfect enough for someone to care about me, to love me, and to think I was awesome. I so deeply wanted someone to text me in the morning and to tell me Good Morning. And I was always so scared that I wasn’t good enough. Today I am so thankful that I was being hidden during those years (and I suppose still am being hidden). I firmly believe that the Lord was hiding me in His arms because He knew my destiny. He knew that one day I would be writing this page to a girl or boy sitting at home wondering if something is wrong with them.

            Not only did He know that part of my destiny, but He knew how proud I would be one day telling my husband that I have everything to give him. It’s all his, and I have saved it for him. He knew that my wilderness, singleness experience would make me appreciate, love, and cultivate a marriage one day. Even now, while I am in that same stage- I know that one day I will be so excited that I have a husband. And 10 years into the marriage- I’ll re-read this book and think, “I am so lucky to be married, there is someone out there that is pleading with God for this opportunity.”     

            Singleness is not a curse. It’s not always fun, but it is not the worse thing in the world. It can be very rewarding if you don’t mope around about it. Choose to have fun in life even when you are single. Don’t worry about being this perfect person so you can catch someone’s eye. Because if you get married, 15 years later- they will know you aren’t perfect. J

The Journey.

     The other night I was so blessed to watch a few couples be prayed and prophesied over. As I watched one particular couple hold hands, lean on each other, and receive the Lord's word over their life together- tears came to my eyes. Tears of happiness and rejoicing for the most part. But in that quiet part of my heart, I ached for that very scene in my own life. It's what I pray and dream of, it's what I write about, it's what I love. Love. Marriage. 2 individuals living life as one. Selflessness. A Holy Matrimony.
     In that moment, my mind raced back and I could see myself laying in bed on lonely nights and praying for my husband. I saw moments when [it seemed] everyone else had someone to love and I had no one. The moments where I had been overlooked for the superficial girl that wasn't even the real deal. And my heart ached... it ached for that bond I will one day have with my husband. I simply cried out to the Lord that I wanted that but only in His timing. In my little mind, the perfect time for me to meet my husband is in the next 5 minutes, (giving myself time to get myself together).
     But ultimately, The Lord knows the perfect timing. I may not understand it, I'm sure you all could come up with plenty of reasons for me to not get married. Probably the fact that I'm 20 being #1. But I know that He has it all under control. (And 20's a perfect age..... lots 'o babies or lots o' time before having babies!) He's writing a beautiful story for me. One that I will cherrish for years to come. And a story that is a reality. One day I will have a husband to "do life together". To have a family with and to serve Jesus together.
     The whole point of this blog post isn't to share with you my heart for the man God has for me but it is this: The time spent in waiting will only deepen the amount of gratitude I will one day have for what God has given me. Life is not about the end result. It's about everything in between. It's about the journey. And this journey that I am on of preparing myself for my man is beautiful. I'm not always perfect and I will ALWAYS be growing. And I am okay with that. The thing to remember is that waiting may not be fun, but it's worth it. Every moment of waiting is worth it if you're waiting for what God has for you.

     Be encouraged. Love your season of waiting. I don't love it yet.... but I'm at least beginning to like it. ;)

Purity Brings Freedom.

     One of my biggest passions in life is purity. The other one is holiness. Holiness and purity. I believe as children of the Most High God that we are called to a life that pursues both of these. They are verbs in and  of themselves. It's a call to action. I'm going to break this blog into two posts. Today's we'll talk about purity.

     This whole week my life has been screaming the word purity at me. Purity in every aspect of my life... not just refraining from sex. Dictionary.com gives this definition: freedom from anything that debases, contaminates, pollutes, etc. Purity is an invitation from God to become like him. In 1 John 3:3 it says, "Everyone who has this hope in him purifies himself, just as he is pure." We are to become like Christ, so we are to purify ourselves. To free ourselves from anything that will pollute it. It's a process. It's a daily decision, and most days its multiple decisions to purify ourselves. It's a chocie to live accoriding to His word. (Psalm 119:9).

 

     One of my focuses is to be pure in heart. I want my life to be a life that is lived out from the inside. I want my insides to be so pure. My thoughts, my desires, my everything- to be pure. This may be extreme, but I firmly believe that purity brings freedom. And I want to live a life of freedom. When I talk to someone and they are sharing their heart with me, I want to genuinely be interested, not faking it till I make it. It's a daily process of checking my heart to see if it's in lines with God's. Checking if my life is in alignment to heavens. I want heaven to invade this earth, and my heart.

 

     The other part of purity is fleeing from sexual immorality. Yep, sex. The other day I had a woman of God ask me why I was waiting to have sex until my wedding night. And I had to stop and really think of what my heart's motives and desires were for waiting. So this is the response I sent her:

 

     "I have always wanted to wait, basically, because my parents engraved it in my head that I had to wait and that sex was bad. I mean, dad gave me a purity ring when I was 16- I was stuck for waiting if I was going to wear the ring. ;) So I just knew that I had/have to wait. It never really became my hearts desire until I seriously began praying for my husband. One day I was praying for this ideal great man for me to marry and the Lord spoke to me in a very Jesus voice. :) And checked me and said- "Are you the type of woman that this man your praying for deserves?"
      After this encounter I immediately checked myself and my reasoning for waiting to have sex. I decided on that day that the next guy I kissed/dated would be my husband. I did this because I had to get extreme with myself- I knew that if I didnt that it would be a constant problem for me. [I know that God has the power to reveal to my future husband and myself that we are the ones He designed each other for. I know that I know that I know that God can handle this. He can give my man the courage to approach me, and we can navigate our ways through this cycle of courting/dating with his help and his wisdom.] I am in the process of working on me right now- and preparing myself as the type of woman that the husband I desire deserves.

But here are my top reasons to wait:
-It's biblical. Jesus said it. I do it.
-My husband deserves a WHOLE me. Not a Brennen that has been given to man after man.
-On my wedding night I only want to think about my husband. I don't want any other images in my head of another man. (This goes into pornography/ oral sex/ roaming hands/ all of that..... none of that crap- I say it's sex to.)
-Even if I know that it is my husband and we aren't married yet- I will still wait. Why? Because marriage is designed specifically for marriage. When you have sex with someone you become soul ties. And a part of you is taken with them. You remember them forever. In my marriage I want to give my husband the best that I can give him.
-It's sexy. To say that you are a virgin is sexy. To say that you are waiting for the man God has for you is even more sexy. If I do say so myself, I think it is for a guy to say it.... so I'd say the same for women too. :) Yep. You can be holy and sexy, just saying.
-Obedience to God. When you obey God- He honors that. Obedience brings breakthrough. It's just a good thing. I want a marriage of breakthrough, so I choose to honor my husband even before it's been revealed that he is my husband.

 

 

     It's a choice, as women we're called to bring our husbands good, not harm, all the day of our lives. (Pr. 31:12) So, all the days of my life- I choose to wait for him. I choose to honor him. And I believe that God will honor that. And that my man will be [an extremely gorgeous] man of God. And that he will be so glad I chose the road of purity.

     Please know that God is also a God of redemption. And if you have messed up in the past- that God forgives you. Nothing that you have done is too much for God to handle. He loves you exactly where you are and He can bring you through it. If you have had sex before or have just gone too far- then I believe that God can make you new. You are a new creation- the old is gone, and that you can choose from this point on that you will live a life of purity. And your purity will bring freedom.

     If you can't tell this is my passion. I'm in the process of writing a book for it, and I may even include this blog entry in my book. I hope that you know that I am not perfect. I mess up and will always be in the learning process of living a life of purity. Sometimes my heart is the farthest thing from pure, but it's a process and it's a daily decision. And I believe it's possible. God will not call you to anything you can't handle with Him. Everyone has a past, but everyone has a future... allow God to do something amazing with your future.

 

:)B