Life Changing Moments

     There are moments in life that grip your heart and somehow in one single moment change the entire course of your life forever. It could be something someone said to you that inspired you, a tragic accident, the birth of a child, the loss of a loved one, or if you are me- a single documentary. Saturday night I came home, grabbed a blanket, and put Elevation Church's "This Is How We Change The World" documentary in my DVD player. I figured I would watch it, be inspired, and that be the end of it. It played for about 2 minutes and then the tears came. I cried through the entire documentary. The story of how God used a chosen group of people to do something amazing in the Kingdom of God impacted my heart in a way I can't put into words. I'm not exactly sure why the tears came. I think, that it resonated within my soul and it urged, convicted, and inspired me to do the things God has called me to.
     Think about it, the core families that faced adversity, rejection, and trials through planting Elevation Church were a part of changing 10,000+ lives. They made a sacrifice, worked hard, seeked the Lord's will diligently, and had audacious faith to see God do something only He could do. Their faith and obedience caused a chain reaction. The lives they have effected can not be numbered.
     I've always said that I want to change the world. Since I was young, I've always wanted to make a difference. I am coming to the realization that in order to change the world- you simply have to do what God called you to do. Think, if every person did what they were called to do. The Kingdom of God would invade the Earth- lives would constantly be changed to a life of abandonment of loving Jesus, and the cycle would continue.
     After watching the documentary, Ephesians 3 came to mind. I sat down and read it uncertain of what would come about it. The verse that stuck out was saying that God can do immeasurably more than we can think or imagine. My dreams for my life can not compare to the Lord's desires for my life. He is capable. He is willing and He can.
     Before Saturday, I was going through the motions. Wanting more, not really for sure how to go about it, struggling to figure out my niche in today's society. Don't get me wrong- I'm still there.... but what is different is I have a hope that has welled up inside me that God is going to bring me to and through it. He is equipping, preparing, and fulfilling me to do His calling that He has placed on my life.

     Take some time today to look at your life and see if you are living a life of audacious faith. A life of living on the edge expecting God to do something miraculous. Then take some time to think of the "moments" in your life that changed it forever. Ask yourself if you are still pursing the things you were after that moment, or if you've gotten back into the cycle of everyday life and have forgotten.

He is willing. Step out. Step up. Live your calling.

Graphic Design Dreams

     I am one month away from graduating with my Digital Design Diploma from the Art Institute of Pittsburgh. This is extremely exciting and also pretty nerve-wracking. It forces me into the real world... or at least urges me to grow up and become an adult. I'm thankful that I want to "grow up". Honestly, when I started this program, I really had no intention of using it in the graphic design field. I figured, I would use it for myself with the books I want to write, posters for events I'm involved in, and just being able to say that I can do it. However, through this process I have fallen in love with Graphic Design. I love the field and the challenges that it brings me to. There is always a sense of "I have so much to learn", which pushes me to constantly become a better version of the "Graphic Designer Brennen". The desire for a career in Design has pleasantly surprised me.

     I've been on a job/ internship search for the past month. It's humbling. I've sent e-mails for opportunities and haven't heard anything back. I've looked at my portfolio comparing it to others and felt inadequate. Then other times, the confidence is full force. I'll have someone see some of my work and just stare at it and comment on how much they love it and how impressed they are with me.

     This it what I am learning...... It is okay to be turned down. It doesn't always feel the greatest at the time, but it's okay. I can't let one "no" stand in the way of a possibility for a "yes". When searching for a job- you have to keep pushing forward. Letting nothing stand in the way. One day, I have full confidence, that an opportunity so unique and fitting for me will arise. Yahweh, Jehovah Jireh is my Provider. He has my heart in mind.... and also my career.

     If you are in the same shoes I am in..... Going after your dreams.... Looking for the perfect opportunity.... Press on.... It's around the corner.... I just know it.

Basketball & Snickers. Just Believe.

     I am so blessed by some of the connections I have, especially blessed by my connection to Madison, Mississippi. Two weeks ago I took off on my summer adventure. Camp Leader for RAMP for Metro's youth for the first of the week then jumping on a flight to come to Mississippi to help out THE Terre Jasper. THE Terre Jasper is the Children's Pastor for Pinelake Church in MS, she was also my youth leader at Bellevue for my entire Middle and High school years. I came to MS to visit, but also to help out with her Kids Week. My life is forever changed.
     I have grown up in church and have been on plenty of mission trips and helped out with numerous camps an I have found that it's normally one child that changes my life. And that's exactly what happened this week. His name will remained unmentioned. But he was not my easiest child, he was actually my most difficult. He didn't behave, he had a bad attitude, and he didn't have a respect for authority. All three of those things clash BIG time with me. After the first day I was pretty frustrated that he was on my basketball team with 6 other 2nd/3rd graders. The Lord spoke to me while attempting to punish him and told me to not give up.
     I began to disect and pick apart his actions and behavior. After he bit my assistant coach, I decided it was time to chat. I began to ask him about his home life.... and it finally hit me. He was always acting defeated because he grows up in an atmosphere where no one believes in him. Tears were at the edge of my eyeballs and instead of making him sit out, I made him hug me. Not a short hug. But a hug. A hug from your g-ma that hasn't seen ya in a while. I hugged, hugged, and hugged the poor child. He looked at me and said, "Miss. Brennen, why you hugging me!?" And I told him I loved him and believed in him.

Everyone needs someone to believe in them. Everyone needs someone to love them. 

     That's what this precious child taught me. I ended up bribing him to behave. I have no idea if that was the correct thing to do, but he was amazed that I would spend a dollar on a yellow snickers. Bless his heart, he couldn't make it the last day and didn't even get it. But, I hope that I left him with something way better than a Snickers. (You know that's gotta be good.) I pray I left him with hope and that he knows someone believes in him. Even if they live in Ky. You better believe that on our last day together when he improved  17 points on his "HotShot" score I was jumping up and down like a proud momma.

Who are you believing in? Who was the last person you hugged and told them how much they meant to you? Reach out. Three days of playing basketball with a child who doesn't behave changed my life.

"Jesus, What are YOU doing!?"

     "Jesus... what are You doing?" was the question I jotted down in my journal today. Sometimes in life things come in it that you just wonder what God has up His sleeve. That's what is going on in my life. This past week has been a week full of encounters with Him. He is stretching me, asking me to dream bigger, think larger, and be bolder. He's bringing things into my life that I "wonder" about. It's so easy to try and dissect every little thing and try to figure it all out. But, what good will that do? None.... I simply must come to a place of absolute trust.
     A friend recently told me, "Absolute trust = Absolute peace". Ah, the truth that is in that statement! If I am worrying over every little thing and trying to manipulate things into happening the way I see fit- I am not trusting. Therefore, I live in a chaotic mind set. A chaotic mindset is not aligning me to hear from the Lord.
     I want to always position myself to be able to hear from the Lord. So many times I catch myself complaining to my friends, "I'm just not hearing the Lord speak." How wrong am I!? So wrong. Either He IS speaking and my chaotic mind isn't listening. Or, He's already told me something and I haven't been obedient.
     Last month, the Lord spoke very clearly to me and told me to give a young girl in the church something. I shut it off and said no way. Last week, He told me again. This time, I obeyed. In that month- I was not hearing from the Lord. Since last Tuesday when I stepped out in obedience- I can not get enough of the Presence of God. He's been speaking to me.... that's just one testimony of when you obey the Lord you are aligning yourself to receive from Him. We have to be in alignment with His word and His kingdom. Pastor Jeff does such a great job at explaining this, I may have to get him to write a "blog" for me about it. :)
     Back to what God is doing in our lives. Stop worrying, He has it under control. It's so good to hear that sometimes. To be reminded of His faithfulness. He knows us better than we know ourselves. He doesn't withhold any good thing from us. He gives us the desires of our hearts.
     I was reading Psalms 103-105 today and I wanted to share a few truths from it:

104:27 God will give us our food at the proper time. Check out that verse! The hungry get fed!

104:30 He renews the Earth with His spirit. +Get in His presence, there is renewing. 

105:15 If you are walking in your anointing- you are protected. 

Stand on His promises. Allow God to work, don't try to figure it out. It's like your on a rollercoaster. If you know every turn and curve and up and down it can take the fun out of it. It's the surprises in roller coasters that make it fun. ;) Get ready people!

Get It Together

I don't feel like I have it all together. And if I am honest with myself, I don't have it all together. I oversleep. I eat too much. I don't exercise. I miss my quiet times. I talk to the Lord more than I listen. I don't stay on my budget. And like last night, I skipped doing my homework. Simply, because I didn't want to do it. 

Why is it that I do this!? I get so frustrated with myself. As I talk to other people, I find out that I am not the only one. But this morning, I apologized to the Lord for it. And He spoke back, "I didn't ask you to have it all together." That's the thing. He didn't. He asked us to love him and serve him. (Amongst other things as well.) He asked us to love him totally and completely. He asked us to live a lifestyle that lines up with the word. He asked us to love him so completely that it becomes a lifestyle. 

He isn't a perfect recipe or formula. Yes, according to the world I should be up at 8am, eating healthy, exercising, etc, etc. But if I do all of that but not love….. what am I!? Nothing. I must love. I must love with my entire being. I must love and serve whole-heartedly. Completely abandoned to His will.

I will not be so ignorant to dismiss my lack of discipline because I love the Lord. I totally believe that the Lord wants us to live a life with some solid disciplines. Look at Proverbs 5:23- "For lack of discipline they will die, led astray by their own great folly. 

Folly: Definition: Noun: Foolishness, stupidity, thoughtlessness

So, as I was praying and asking the Lord for a passion to wake up at 8am, ready to go exercise, and resist Coca-Colas; He reassured me that He has me in His hand. That He loves me like I am. But that yes, I do need to work on some things in my life. One lie that I have told myself, is that one day I would reach perfection. I would "have it all together". And that's not true. Some days, I might. But other days, I might not get it all just right. I don't go into my day with a defeated attitude saying that I'll never be able to do this. I wake up, put on the armor of the Lord, fill myself with His word and truth, and dive into the day confident in what the Lord has called me to. 

He doesn't want us to have it all together, He wants us to be intentional. Intentional about: spending time with Him, serving Him, loving and serving others, taking care of our bodies (adequate sleep, exercise, and eating healthy), and walking in our individual purpose and callings. 

I encourage you with the fact that you aren't the only one who doesn't have it all together. But that it's okay. Just start working on being intentional. And remember that He's holding you. He's got your back. And their is grace for our lives with Him. 

Jonah.

     Jonah. That's what the Lord said to me tonight. I kind of laughed to myself because everyone knows about Jonah. I was almost cocky in my "spirituality", like I was too good to read Jonah. Doesn't the Lord know how many times I've read Jonah!? But, when the Lord speaks- I've learned to obey. I opened up the Word not expecting to hear from the Lord.
     Total opposite. The Lord spoke some truths to me that definately have changed my perspective on the story of Jonah. The Lord also taught me to get off my "high-horse" and to stay a learner. (Always stay a novice! We can always learn something.) The wonderful thing about the word of the Lord is it is always relevant. It works like building blocks. You can always build foundational truths to your knowledge "wall'. It just keeps building on the previous truth.

     I thought I would share what the Lord taught me this evening. Here is a recap of the story in case you've forgotten. :) The Lord told Jonah to go to Nineveh. Jonah thought he had better things to do.  Jonah bought a ticket and jumped on a ship. An awful storm came about when they were sailing. They casted lots to figure out who was causing it. It was Jonah. (His disobedience.) They casted him over. The sea quit. Jonah got eaten by a whale. Stayed in the whale for 3 days. He spit him up. The Lord told him to go to Nineveh again. He went. He did what he was supposed to do. Nineveh prayed and fasted. The Lord had compassion. Jonah went to the outskirts of the city to watch what would happen. The Lord gave him a shade vine for his comfort. The next day the Lord sent a worm and the vine shirveled. Jonah was angry because of the vine dying. (Sigh.... )

     There are many "Jonahs" walking around in our society. They recognize that Jesus is Lord over their life but are running away from their calling. Some are paying to run away from their calling like Jonah did when he bought the ticket for sea. We must wake up to our callings. We must obey what the Lord has spoken to us. He made and created each of us. Why do we question if He knows best!? I get so frustrated with myself when I question God. And I have to remind myself that I do not know best. He has known me longer than I have known me! He created me! Don't you think He knows what is best for my life!? I should trust him and obey!

     I laughed when I read that Jonah paid to flee from God. Why do we run so quickly from the things God calls us to!? Fear? Rejection? Pride?

     Even the fish obey God. The whale could have eaten Jonah. But the Lord spoke and told it to spit him out.... and the whale obeyed. Amazing.

     After Jonah was spit out God did not give him a new assignment. He gave him the first one. We question why we can't hear God tell us what to do in our lives... when He is waiting for us to obey what He has already spoken! Recover what the Lord has spoken and obey Him.

     The Lord provided Jonah a vine for his comfort. But the next day He sent a worm. When Jonah questioned God... The Lord replied and asked him if he had tended to it to make it flourish. Many times the Lord does not give us things we are praying for because our character can't withstand it. We have to be in a position to receive what we are praying for! If you can't handle the 20 dollars God gives you ever week then how can he trust you with 2,000 dollars a week!? Be faithful with what God gives you. Tend to it. Cultivate it! Make it flourish!

     This last truth is what really got me. I pray for so many amazing things to happen in my life. But I wonder if I'm ready for them!? I need to get to a place where I am prepared and ready for what He gives me so I can continue to hold on to it. I always want the Lord to be able to trust me with what He gives me! I am not saying that this is salvation by works.... No matter how much we do- we aren't saved by our good acts. We are saved through grace. But faith without actions is dead. So the two go hand in hand. I want to be faithful to a faithful God! He is faithful with me, so it should work like every other relationship. And I should return the faithfulness.


Lord, I ask that you speak to each of us! Show us your plan for our lives, give us the boldness to obey no matter what the circumstances are. I ask that if we have forgotten what you have spoken to us that you remind us. Give us the diligence and discipline to build a character that can handle what you want to give us. We are always Yours Lord! We love you. Amen. 

Faithfulness & Perfect Timing

     My heart and mind are full this afternoon. So many thoughts run around in my mind. Thoughts of confusion, thoughts of clarity, thoughts of worry, thoughts of joy..... some things in my life I am so certain about and others I'm praying I've made the right choice. This morning the Lord spoke a promise over me that he's spoken several times over me. "My faithfulness is your shield and rampart." It comes out of Psalm 91:4. At the beginning of the year Pastor Jeff asked the staff to read Psalm 91 every day, I'll admit I've been slacking the past month but this morning I set aside some time and dove into the Word.
     The Lord knows exactly what I need. And Psalm 91:4 was it this morning. His faithfulness is unshakeable. It can't be shaken. Can't be broken. It has no breaking point. He will remain faithful. He has remained faithful. He has done so much for me and you that proves this point. He has never left us. Even when I've run away, when I have turned my back to the whisper of his voice, He was still there. He remained the same.
     A rampart is a defensive wall. The Message translate the verse that His arms are protecting me. It's the truth. I am smashed into the love of my Savior and surrounded by His arms. The arms that hold the universe. I am loved, protected, and watched over.
     I know that no matter what happens in my life, the Lord is my shield and rampart. He will be faithful. Through heartaches, worries of life, times of extreme trust, times of sorrow, and times of joy- He remains faithful. He protects me. He knows what is best for me. Just like a mother knows what is best for their daughter or son, He knows what is best for me. Don't loose hope. Don't loose your trust in Him- He is holding it all together. He withholds nothing good from us!
     One of the things that I love to do is babysit. I get to pretend that I am a mother for just a few hours. I was watching one child once and had heated them up some dinner. Since I am just a pretend mother I didn't microwave it to the perfect temperature. It was a little too hot. So the poor child was forced to stare at me holding their yummy food while it cooled off. I'm sure they were thinking, "Does Bren Bren not think I need the food? I am so hungry. I need that in my life. It will make me full. It will make my tummy stop hurting. Why won't she give me that, it looks so good." But you see, I knew that it was exactly what he needed, but I also knew that if I gave it to him at that moment that it would hurt him. It would burn his tongue. So I waited for it to cool off and then I was able to feed it to him.
     I tell you this for a reason. Don't loose sight of the promises the Lord has given you. He knows the PERFECT timing to give it to you. Yes, it is exactly what you need. Yes, it will propel you into your calling. Yes, it will make your heart skip a beat. Yes, it will be so yummy and awesome. Yes, it will stop your heart from aching. But right now might not be the perfect timing. He has it in His hands. He will release it into your life at the perfect time.

    And until it happens, rest in the fact that his faithfulness is your shield and rampart. Faithfulness. Not going anywhere. It's always there. He is faithful. He will never cheat you. He will never loose sight of His beloved. Rest in that and the worries of the world will drift away. Claim the verse over every worry and step back and watch what the Lord will do.

Parenting 101

     I absolutely can not wait to be a mother. I have said it so many times before and have dreamt of the day. One of the things I do to prepare for motherhood is make a list of the things I want to do with my kids before stressful days of dirty diapers, a 2 page to-do list, a house to clean, and a husband to feed consume my mind. I have a feeling that in that situation I won't think of brilliant parenting ideas.
     Another thing that I seem to notice is horrible parenting. Or parenting that drives me nuts. Or kids that don't know how to behave. So.... I have decided to write a blog on my tips on parenting. Sure, I don't have a kid or a husband. And no, I'm not a scholar on parenting. But- I babysit. I watch. I pretend. I notice things. And I have a blog. So I can write it if I want to. :) Hehe.

Parenting 101

-You may spank your child. It is not abuse. Sometimes it is simply what needs to be done. I can clearly point out children that I know are not "spanked" children. It is not abuse. Sure- you don't beat your child. But a nice spanking is not going to kill. Spare the rod.... not a good idea.

- Allow your children to answer questions. If you are constantly answering questions for them they will never learn to communicate.

-Restaurants: Let your child order their food. This is something that they will have to do for the rest of their life. At the age of 5 if something was wrong with my hamburger my mom told me to go to the counter to get it fixed. I now know how to deal with the public, with restaurants, with managers, and with people. I can answer if I want Coca Cola (duh) or sweet tea. I think your child can as well.

      -If you are worried that they will order the most expensive items- give them a budget. Look at the menu before hand... decide an appropriate price and tell them that they have 8 dollars to spend tonight, tip included. This teaches them to spend within their means and whenever they are 20 they won't cut their server dry on a tip because they can't plan out beforehand.

-Allow them to make decisions. Even if you know they will fail. If they always succeed- what are they going to do when they go to college or get in the real world. Making mistakes is part of life- they must learn to deal with them.

-If your child falls- it will be okay. Allow them to get up themselves without having you hovering over them.

-They can wait for juice if you are in the middle of a conversation. If you meet every want that they have at that instant moment you are raising NOW monsters. And at the age of 16 that isn't going to be pretty.

-Get creative with your discipline. Parent like Jesus parents. Not out of fear. (this comes from a Kris Vallotin teaching) You don't want your kids scared of every thing they do. Allow them to make mistakes but also give them options. Example: "I would like you to set the table, if you choose not to you can sit i your room while the rest of the family eats." This teaches your child to think of how they can prepare in life. If they set the table... then they will have something to eat their food on. And FOLLOW THROUGH. Don't give them food an hour after dinner. (Once again, this isn't abuse. They can miss a meal. It's like fasting. It's biblical.)

-Parent is teamwork. Mom back your husband up. Dad, back your wife up. Even if you don't agree at the moment. If they know that Mom and Dad mean business and Dad won't get them out of trouble then they will be less likely to do "wrong". They also will respect the two parents for having each others backs.

-Take your child on dates. Real ones. Let them get dressed up... clean up the truck... dress up... and treat them nice. Reward them for good grades.

-Teach your child to make "inside out decisions".  To decide to do right because that is what their heart knows to do. Or what the Holy Spirit says.

-Communicate with your children. Let them know your expectations. Encourage them. Love them

-Hug your child. Tell them you love them.

-If you have to buy your child something everytime you go to WalMart.... not a good idea. What are ya gonna do when your in carlots? Think of the future. They need to be behave because it's the right thing/ what mom needs/ etc, etc.

-Read One Minute Mom .... my mother read it.... and wished she had it when we were younger. All 3 children love our mom and dad and respect them incredibly much. We can sit down and have dinner without yelling and without hating it. I look forward to spending time with them.

-Invest in your child without spoiling. It is perfectly okay for your child to pay for their own gas, have a job at 16, and pay for their own college. They will appreciate it. Don't spoil your child. Doesn't matter how much money you have. They will have to know how to manage money in the future and if you bail them out every time....... how will they know? It's okay for them to have overdraft fees..... let them figure out how to fix it.

-Stop arguing with your spouse. You expect your children to get a long and not fight... but you sit and fight with your spouse, say hateful things, don't encourage, and totally disrespect them. Lead by example.

-Find out their love language and feed it. :) http://www.5lovelanguages.com/

-Let them clean their own room. Seriously, why are you cleaning it? That's ridiculous. Same with laundry. These are things they WILL have to do on their own.

-Give them a bedtime so you can have time with your spouse.

-Date night. This teaches your child that he/she will be okay without mommy or daddy all of the time. And shows the importance of your spouse in your life.

-There are times to be a parent and times to be a friend. Most of the time.... you need to be a parent. They have friends at school.

-Order of priorities: 1. God 2. Spouse 3. Children
My mother will still choose spending time with my dad over me. She still makes time for me but I know that if they have date night- they are going, alone. This does not hurt my feelings. This makes me feel secure because I know my parents will not get a divorce. Your child is petrified of you divorcing your husband or wife. Don't do it. Not fair to children. You took a vow... find your passion with your spouse and make it work. Love is a choice.

-Don't yell at your spouse. This teaches that yelling is an appropriate form of communication.

-LOVE. LOVE. LOVE. Lead in love. Serve with your child. And by golly- get em in church. :)


Yay! If you made it to the end of the list. I congratulate you. I wish I could apologize if I offended you... but I won't. Because sometimes the truth is what we need to hear. We aren't perfect. I guarantee I'm going to need to re-read my own blog once I have my own precious children. And if you're offended.... it might mean because you need to tweak some ideas on parenting. I love you. I love your kids. I can't wait for me to read a young woman's blog on parenting who doesn't have kids some day. It shall be a taste of my own medicine. And medicine it is..... might actually. help me out.

Insignificant Purpose.

I am to a point in my life where I'm ready for things to be worth it. I'm so tired of pointless homework, meetings, relationships, etc. Everything that I do- I want to have purpose. I write this as I sit in Panera Bread procrastinating homework. I know that the way I handle my homework will correlate into how I handle other responsibilities in my life. However, I am still ready for them to have purpose! Most of my homework assignments have purpose... the specific one I'm not doing right now... does not.
     I'm not 100% positive on how to get to the place where things are significant. And I should probably smack my hand and correct my thoughts.... because what I do today does have purpose. The way I handle the seemingly "insignificant" things in my life right now- builds discipline and character for the things I will handle in the future. Press on brothers and sisters. For there will be a rainy day when I'm watching my kids and being the wife that I am called to be when I'll look back and be thankful that I was obedient today for the things God is calling me into.
     How you handle today will be a building block on how you handle tomorrow. Deal with today's problems with diligence.... Prepare yourself today for the things you'll face tomorrow.

     And the life I dream of will come.... the life that only the Lord could bless me with.... is in the making. It's in the building process. The foundation is being laid..... I'd never want a house without a foundation just like I'd never want a family, husband, relationships, job, and other things the Lord will bring into my life wihtout a strong enough foundation (character, determination, will-power, wisdom, etc) to support it.

Build a foundation today..... even with the things that seem so meaningless and insignificant.

Learning. Receiving. Ministry.

I just posted a status on facebook and decided that I had more to say on the subject. I get so frustrated with people that can not receive from others. This is probably because I struggle with receiving from others, but with that being said, I'm working on it. My goal in every church I walk in to, every time I spend time with someone, is to learn something from them. I want to be able to be ministered to just as much as I minister to others. We all need time to connect with God. We must spend time in intimacy with the Lord. Intimacy produces fruit. And anything healthy grows. We must spend time with the Lord and with others to be healthy.
     Many times whenever we are super involved in ministry we get so involved in the doing. The to-do lists, what isn't going right, what needs to be fixed, what we need to work on- that we totally view the church as a workplace. Subconciously we come in the doors ignoring the fact that we are stepping on holy ground, that we are entering into the house of the Lord.
     If you are a worship leader- can you go to a church service and worship under someone else's leadership? Same as a pastor? Any ministry that you are in... can you be under someone else's leadership? Are you always the teacher on the subject or do you learn from others? Are you the only one you can hear from? Of course, we test everything Biblically. But allow yourself to sit in the presence of the Lord.
     Have we also become so overwhelmed with ourselves that we aren't even listening to the Lord's input on our ministries? Do we seek His face for where we are in leadership? Or can we get past our great ideas, strategic planning, and overthinked strategies? We must always be able to learn from the Lord. To receive correction from our Savior. Just like a parent- Our Papa God will always encourage us, but there is also a time for correction in our walk with the Lord. And..... it is okay! It's totally fine to be corrected by our Savior. And if you obey him  and change- that shows that you are able to hear God on not only the great things but also on the things that are difficult to change.

So how do we get to this place? Where we can be ministered to just as much, if not more, as we minister to others. Practically..... You can develop a group of close friends that can speak into your life, and not ones that are scared of offending you. But friends that will be a friend and speak truth into your life. And when you step into the house of the Lord don't forget that you are on holy ground. Love on Jesus and allow Jesus to love on you. Make a list of things you are working on. One of the top things that is on my list is this: Learn from everyone. Love while learning. Love learning.
    

A Preview of My Book...

As I write these very words I think about my husband. It’s pretty often that the subject of love and relationships are brought up in my everyday life. I work with the public and many of them ask about my purity ring when I hand them their change. Or they want to know a little about my life and ask if I have a boyfriend. And for some reason I get nervous. I suppose it’s because I think that they won’t think I am “cool” because I’ve really never had a real boyfriend. Granted, I’ve had a few guys I’ve hung out with and spent (too much) time with, but never have I been asked,  “Will you be my girlfriend?”. So when I am asked about this subject I almost cower.  The other day I found myself doing that very thing, when I checked myself. Turned my attitude around and proudly said, “I’m waiting for my husband.”

            There is no shame in your purity.  9.5 times out of 10 after I tell someone that I have never had sex or came close to having sex they react with a great deal of respect. Shock is also normally involved in their response, and some people think I am lying. I urge you, to never, ever, do what I have done; cowering or thinking that you aren’t cool because you are waiting for your husband. You are so beyond awesome for waiting for your future spouse. And if you have messed up, no worries- there is so much grace for you. God loves you and is still proud of you. Stand up, dust yourself off, and stay pure. J

            Growing up I always wondered if something was wrong with me. I was the twin that never had the boyfriend. I would be Chelsea’s third wheel so she could hang out with her boyfriend. I would painfully stare out the window longing to be loved. I wondered if I wasn’t pretty enough, funny enough, perfect enough for someone to care about me, to love me, and to think I was awesome. I so deeply wanted someone to text me in the morning and to tell me Good Morning. And I was always so scared that I wasn’t good enough. Today I am so thankful that I was being hidden during those years (and I suppose still am being hidden). I firmly believe that the Lord was hiding me in His arms because He knew my destiny. He knew that one day I would be writing this page to a girl or boy sitting at home wondering if something is wrong with them.

            Not only did He know that part of my destiny, but He knew how proud I would be one day telling my husband that I have everything to give him. It’s all his, and I have saved it for him. He knew that my wilderness, singleness experience would make me appreciate, love, and cultivate a marriage one day. Even now, while I am in that same stage- I know that one day I will be so excited that I have a husband. And 10 years into the marriage- I’ll re-read this book and think, “I am so lucky to be married, there is someone out there that is pleading with God for this opportunity.”     

            Singleness is not a curse. It’s not always fun, but it is not the worse thing in the world. It can be very rewarding if you don’t mope around about it. Choose to have fun in life even when you are single. Don’t worry about being this perfect person so you can catch someone’s eye. Because if you get married, 15 years later- they will know you aren’t perfect. J

Put Some Clothes On

     The other day I was in a dressing room with 6 dresses. I tried each of them on.... in the appropriate size.... and none of them worked. Why? Because if I bent over the whole world would know what color panties I'd have on. Granted.... if I stood up and did the fingertip rule I would [barely/hardly] pass. But when life would hit me in that dress and I would one day chase a plastic bag in Walmart's parking lot..... or lean down to tie my shoe (Laced shoes and dresses are in style) more of Brennen would be revealed than what is necessary or appropriate.
     The fact of the matter is.... modesty is a difficult way to dress these days. It's almost easiest to cave in wear my dresses a little bit shorter... and my shirts a little bit lower. I mean, what's a little extra skin showing gonna hurt? Let me tell ya...... It's gonna become a battle for a man of God. So beautiful ladies..... take a stand... and put on some dang clothes.
    
     A few years ago... I didn't care what in the world I wore. I'd run out of the house as quick as I could because I knew my momma wouldn't approve.... but I wanted to be "hot". But somehow, the Lord has placed a passion for modesty, purity, and holiness upon my heart. And I've been silent for far too long. I'm here to say... or write.... Even in 2011 you can dress modestly.
     For what it's worth, I thought I'd share a few tips. :)

Modest is Hottest Gorgeous, Beautiful, and Stunning Class 101:
1. Praise Test in every outfit.
     First.... Lift your hands.... and come on now... lift 'em high. He's worthy right!?    
     Second.... Kneel... do every type of kneeling.... Is yo' booty hangin out? How's your shirt.... can you see straight down it!? Watch out!
     Third... Jump a few times... just in case life hits ya today. Does it swoosh and show too much of ya'self?

2. Layer. Invest in a few camisoles that come up pretty high. No cleavage. Cleavage is simply not fair to any man. Men are visual and as Godly as they can be.... you don't want your cleavage to be their stumbling block. You also want camisoles that are longer. So if your shirt comes up your back, side, or belly doesn't show.

3. Dresses.... pick wisely. Don't buy a dress that's too short. It may be the cutest dress there is.... but it's not worth it. You can always add leggings if it's appropriate.

4. Balance. I am not suggesting that you wear a ugly/ out dated clothes, no make up, and the only thing you can see if your face. You can still be absolutely gorgeous without showing tons of skin. If you're shirt scoops down and shows some skin up top (a Godly amount) then pair it with something that covers you up on the bottom. And vis versa... many times if I wear a skirt- I will choose a t-shirt style blouse or a shirt layered with a jacket. It simply balances you out.... and shows that you can tastefully look beautiful.

5. High Heels. Heels can be hott, but they can also be pretty skanky. If you're wearing a skirt that comes a few inches above your knee.... I'm not so sure heels are going to be the best choice. I would wisely choose a pair of flats or cute gladiator sandals. If you're wearing jeans, or a longer skirt.... go for the heels. You can rock a great pair of shoes modestly.

6. Accessorize. I'm not so sure that this is a Modesty tip... but it is a fashion tip. Many times the only modest things I can find are plain items... but it's totally okay if you accessorize yourself. Change it up with your color.... I always try to throw in a surprise accessory that most people wouldn't think would go with it. :) It's like a game!

7. Be you. From head to toe. Don't try to impress men with your skin. Think if what you're wearing is what attracts a man to you... dress for a man that you deserve. If he is only attracted to you for your mini-skirt, cleavage, and long legs.... I'm not so sure he's the Godly man that you desire and deserve.



Men- I apologize for what you go through every day. I can't imagine the inner battle you go through with the way that we dress. I vow to always keep your inner man in mind when I dress. Always making sure that I am dressed modestly and appropriately.

Girls.... be you. That's the best advice I have for you when it comes to life. Be the best you that God created you to be. Dress modestly and wear a smile and some confidence. ;)

What is Sizing You Up?

     This (crazy) woman has a pet boa constrictor. A snake that she absolutely loves. Loves so much that it sleeps with her at night. She noticed that he hadn't been eating for a while and that when he was sleeping he was sleeping in a straight line, when he normally slept curled up in ball. She decided to call her vet and ask him about it. As she tells him all of this he immediately says to get rid of the snake as soon as possible. Come to find out..... The snake had been fasting so he could save enough space to eat his owner. He had been sleeping straight up and down because he was sizing up his owner. And when he reached a certain length then he knew that he had enough space to eat her.
     Pretty dang gross right? I absolutely hate snakes, so I really hate this story. I thought about doing some research to find out more about this "sizing up" thing that they do, but refrained because I knew I'd have nightmares, and constantly be on the snake look out! However, I couldn't get this story out of my mind for quite a while. Because it floors me that the woman would sleep with a snake. That is ridiculous. As I began to think on this it hit me that we do the same things.
     We allow things in our life that can potentially harm or kill us. Addictions, ungodly relationships, ungodly habits and behaviors, etc. We know that it isn't what God intended for us- but we go ahead and let it sleep with us, size us up, and give it the opportunity to eat us alive. And that is exactly what sin will do. satan will use every opportunity that we give him to get into our lives. He can manipulate it to where in the beginning "it's not a big deal". The sin is so small that why would it even matter? (Sin always matters, that's a lie. It's from satan so don't listen to that!) But as time passes we get more comfortable with that sin in our life... and it grows... and before you know it, it's just like that boa constrictor. Waiting for the moment to take our life away. Sin is crouching at our door, and we must rule over it (Genesis 4:7).
     So, what do we do with this massive, life-sucking, killing, monster of a sin!?
1. We cut it off. Get rid of it. Give yourself no access to it. This is not a time to show yourself that you can be strong and just say no. No, do not even give yourself the opportunity to get into that area of sin again.
2. Get an accountability partner. It is too easy to go back to the things we are comfortable with. Having someone that will hold you accountable to your decision to go God's way over your own will be extremely helpful.
3. Replace it with something Godly. Find something that you can do for God.
4. Pray against that struggle. It is from satan- therefor it doesn't stand a chance. Rebuke it and replace it with the truth. For example, if you have trouble with body image- rebuke the lie that you aren't pretty. And replace it with "the King is enthralled by my beauty" (Psalm 45:11).
5. Dust yourself off and keep moving. Your past does not define you. You still have an opportunity to be the best you that God created. It's never too late.



     Take a look at your life and ask yourself the question, "What is sizing me up?" or "What am I trapped inside from allowing myself to "sleep" with ungodly harmful things?


I end this post with a quote from Kris Vallotin, "You have not been put on earth for the devil to tormet you, you have been put on this earth to torment the devil."



  

Blog Business!

My wonderful and faithful blog readers,

     Have I told you how much I love you? And how much I appreciate that you take time out of your day to read my thoughts? Because I do. It means the world to me. Which is why I trust you with some advice I need. 

     One of my dreams is to write. I've had this passion and desire since I was younger but have always watered it down. I remember writing short stories as a child and the teacher always telling me that I had too much in it for a short story. So I quit writing. Well- I'm writing again- and it makes me come alive. I absolutely love it. I love that people understand what I'm saying. I love that I'm able to put into words what is in my heart. So I want to make my dreams come true. 

     I'm beginning to work on a book about purity. But I also have been encouraged and have been thinking about pursuing writing for a newspaper or a magazine of some sort. I am definitely not the best writer around but I refuse to believe the lie that I have nothing to offer. Because, I do. Just like YOU have something to offer.

     I need some help picking out some blogs to edit and send in to a few places. So- let me know what your favorite blog posts are! Also- what would you all like to see me write about? Is there anything that you would like to request me to do/write/ showcase? I am always open to ideas and need your help in being the best writer that I can be. 

     Also- if you know of a magazine or somewhere that my writing would fit in that I could send in a blog let me know of that to! 

There you go lovely people of God! Time to help a girl out achieve her dreams! :) And that girl- just happens to be me! :) I love you all!

You can post your suggestions as a comment or e-mail me at brennen_gaddis@yahoo.com, or facebook me a message!  Here's the link to my facebook: http://www.facebook.com/brennengaddis

Not Noticed.

     I have this new obsession. And it truly is an obsession. One Tree Hill. It's a tv show that has been airing for quite some time. I am not very good at watching shows every week and planning my schedule around it. (I think it's a good thing.) However, my friend has loaned me the entire seasons. So that makes it easy to escape and spend hours watching this show. At the point of the show I am in, they are in high school. And boy, does it make me want to go back to high school.
     That's a big statement for me to say. But really, if I could, I 'd go back at least for a week. And I would eat lunch with the ones who have been left out. I would walk down the hallway with the young man who always gets made fun of, and I'd get to know the slightly awkward girl who never speaks. I would make a difference. 
     When I was in high school, I was wrapped up in how much I hated it that I didn't even look to see what I could do to make it better for someone else. There are students and people that go to school and work who despise their lives. Who go unnoticed. Who miss school for weeks and no one ever notices. They live with pain and depression. And why didn't I do anything about it!? Why don't I do something about it? 
     I don't have to be in high school to change someone's life. There are still lonely people. I want to find them. And I want to love them. Why? Because that's what life is about. Life isn't about the coolest new trend, or having the coolest things..... Life is about making a difference. It's about sharing Jesus' love. 
     I hate to admit it, but I'm not sharing His love these days. I'm in my safe "clique" of Christian friends, I've lost my heart for the lost, broken, and down-hearted. But through a television show, the Lord has opened my eyes to them once again. I sat on my couch and cried for them yesterday in shame. Because my heart had never heart for them like that in way too long. My heart is in process of being broken. Broken for the things it should be broken for. And for that, I am not ashamed. 
     Life isn't about me, life is about Jesus and the hurting. Make a difference. Begin today. 

Isaiah 58 says it best,  ⁶ “Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen: 

to loose the chains of injustice 

   and untie the cords of the yoke, 

to set the oppressed free 

   and break every yoke? 

⁷ Is it not to share your food with the hungry 

   and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter— 

when you see the naked, to clothe them, 

   and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood? 

⁸ Then your light will break forth like the dawn, 

   and your healing will quickly appear; 

then your righteousness^[a] will go before you, 

   and the glory of the LORD will be your rear guard. 

⁹ Then you will call, and the LORD will answer; 

   you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I.

Stumped Toes & Running into Doors

     One of the things that I seem to do is run into half opened doors, or stump my toe on a piece of furniture that has always been in that exact spot.  Another thing is at my house I have to park on the street, most times I have to turn my car around at the end of the street so I can park on the same side of the street that my house is on. So I go to the end and do a U turn. There are hardly ever any cars on the street I intersect with my turnaround, so I always just stop and go. One day, I stopped and started to pull out and realized that I didn't even look to see if there's a car coming. Don't worry I didn't wreck, I just had to stop abruptly. I had made a habit in my mind that I never have to REALLY stop at that stop sign.
    There are small things in our life that are so normal to us that we don't ever stop to make sure that God is speaking to us about it. For example, with the doors, most of the time the doors I run into are typically never closed, so when they are my mind doesn't register in enough time that it's not open all the way. And then, BAM, I run into it. There are things in our life that have been normal and on schedule that God wants to speak to us about. Or wants to close that part of our life, but we have gotten so used to it that it's become second nature. When God is saying, "Brennen! Wake up, that's not good enough for you any more. Let it go!" "Brennen, you are called to live a life of holiness- that isn't cutting it! Cut it out of your life." "Brennen, proceed with caution, stop and be aware of your surroundings!" "Beloved, this door is shut, but I have a better one open for you! Pay attention!"
     So what half closed doors are you still running into? Any streets you've failed to proceed with caution in? It's time for me to pay attention to the things in my life that I've left God out of and to listen up.
    

Be Who God Created You to Be

     Be who God created you to be. This is what God has been speaking directly to my heart this past week. Don't try to be someone else, be who God created you to be. God designed each of us to be different for a reason. We are created uniquely and with our own passions, desires, and personality. Use it for God's glory. Don't try to be something you are not to gain respect, love, or admiration from those around you. This does nothing but set them [and you] up for disappointment. Because, months/ years down the road- they will realize who you really are. 
     I have realized that identity crisis is a problem that is rampant in the church world. We don't know who we are. Get to know yourself. You can not be the best friend, husband, wife, daughter, sister, aunt, or cousin that you can be without knowing WHO you are and WHOSE you are. I am on this journey of discovering who I am. Here are some truths that have helped me figure out who I am:


-Don't apologize for the things that you love to do. Own them and do them with your best ability. 
-Ask God who You are. Start reading Psalm 119. And search out the scriptures for truths on what God says about His children. 
-Try out new things. See if it makes you come alive.... you never know if you don't try. 
-Work on making the things you are good at the thing you are BEST at. Never quit learning what you love to do. 
-Ask those closest to you what they see in you. And be able to handle the advice that they give you. 
-Choose to work on the things you aren't good at that you should be good at. (For example: I have to become good at receiving correction and on forgiveness.) Biblical qualities- work on those. Ya' can't go wrong with that. 
-Go after the things that God calls you to. You will be walking in His will and His purpose- becoming the person that God created you to be. 
-Know who God is. Get to know Your Savior, allow Him to be the love of Your life, in knowing who He is- you will discover who YOU are! 


     I always have struggled with knowing what is my passion.... I have never felt the feeling of "coming alive" when I do something- until the other day. I have always had a strong love for purity and holiness being restored in the church body. But last week, I found my passion. I got the opportunity to talk to a small group of young ladies about remaining sexually pure until your wedding night. And let me tell you what, I CAME ALIVE. I have never felt that heart burning passion while living out something- but I did. And it's amazing! I had to branch out and try it. I knew it was something that I wanted to teach and show others- but I had no idea how much I loved it! Since that night I have had visions and dreams of teaching at large conferences, small groups, youth groups, and one on one mentorships about living a life of purity because you want to- not because you are supposed to! I encourage you to search out and find the things that make you come alive. And when you do, don't abandon it- pursue it and go after it. 


     When it all comes down to it. Just be who God created YOU to Be! Be the best YOU that you can be, mold yourself into the best Godly, pure, and holy person that you can be. 

I found a website with some scripture on who we are in Christ: Check these out- and read more on the link below!

I have received the gift of righteousness and reign as a king in life by Jesus Christ (Romans 5:17).

I have received the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of Jesus, the eyes of my understanding being enlightened (Ephesians 1:17,18).

I have no lack for my God supplies all of my need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:19).

I am God’s child⎯for I am born again of the incorruptible seed of the Word of God, which lives and abides forever (I Peter 1:23).

I am God’s workmanship, created in Christ unto good works (Ephesians 2:10). I am a new creature in Christ (II Corinthians 5:17). I am a spirit being⎯alive to God (I Thessalonians 5:23; Romans 6:11).

http://resourcesforchristians.net/downloads/print/whoiam.pdf

Choosing to Choose.

     There is so much truth to the ol' saying, "Life is what you make it." You will get out of life what you put into it. If you don't pursue life and the source of life then you probably won't like life too much. But when you choose to enjoy life, no matter what the circumstances are, then I bet you love life or are beginning to love life. I am by no means saying that life is bed of roses and nothing is ever hard. No, not at all, I know this by first hand experience. Life is not easy. But you can enjoy it in all circumstances. 
     It all comes down to choice. Who you are today was made from a series of choices that you have made. Who you will be tomorrow also will be the outcome of your choices. It is time to quit blaming your troubles on "life". That is demonic and not Godly one bit. That is one step closer to satan than it is to God. Choose to love, give, serve and pursue God. Choose to find something sweet in everything. Choose joy, peace, and patience. What you choose determines your outcome. Choose life, and life in abundance.
     You living a mediocre life doesn't do you any favors. Branch out, live out your dreams, be who God has made you to be. Be intentional. This is the phrase that God has been speaking to me the past month. I need to be intentional.  I need to be concious of the things that I choose to do throughout the day. Once again that determines my productivity and the joy that I experience that day.
     When I wake up and I choose to love God, love people, and love life then I am determined that nothing, absolutely nothing, no power of the enemy, no stumped toe, no long line, NOTHING will change that. I choose to have a good day. To have a good life.
     One of the things that Pastor Jeff preaches is Proverbs 27:7- One who is full loathes honey from the comb, but to the hungry even what is bitter tastes sweet. What does this mean? That in every situation you can find something that is sweet. We are to never become cynical and judgmental with nothing being good enough. That means that today when Chelsea brought me my McDonalds (yep, this is after I worked out) that even though it was cold I was still thankful that Chelsea paid for it! It's simply being able to find the good in every situation. 
     I know that life does get hard, and that things happen to good people. But God is still God, His word is still sovereign. And He still has the most best plans in the world for you. He desires for you to be prosperous, enjoy life, love Him, serve Him, see and bring people to encounter God's love. You are the head and not the tail. You are highly favored. You have a reason to choose joy. I promise. 
     It may be 3 years after something horrible in your life happens where you see the purpose in it all. But for those 3 years- find something, anything and be thankful for it. Thank God. Just think of the things that He HAS protected you from that you don't even know about. 


Choose life. Choose Him. Choose joy. Choose peace. Choose happiness. Choose the higher road. Choose serving. Choose giving. Choose loving. Choose life. Choose a happy life. Choose to not loathe the honeycomb. Choose to find something good no matter the circumstances. 






It's your choice. ;)

Providing Daddy.

     One of my favorite things to do is to play cards. Most favorite game is Nertz. A fast paced game of a mix of solitare and suites.... super fun. (If you wanna play- we'll let ya!) And it is best when played with the Kees brothers, my twin, and my mother. We play every few weeks, but I play Nertz on an app on my iPhone. With playing this I have noticed something. Most of the time you notice that you need a card, and that one card will give you a huge play. (Example you need a 6 of hearts to come up in your deck of "flipping cards" since you have a 7 of hearts and 8 of hearts in your 4 playing cards. Then you would get 3 cards out in the community area where everyone plays. )
     So that one card will open up so many opportunities for you and possibly let you get Nertz. When this happens I always hesitate to keep moving in case someone else puts the card out there and I miss it, or whatever. What I have noticed though.... is that sometimes the card you need or a card that might be better is coming up in your hand.... it's on it's way, you just have to keep moving the cards and keep moving forward.

     I hope you are seeing the parallel in your life. Sometimes we want something so bad that is already in our hand. It's right there. It's just coming up. You have to keep moving, keep pressing, and it'll come up. Instead of waiting for someone else to hand it to you, or just standing still scared to move. You have to keep pursuing being intentional in everything that you do. Making progress with every part of your life. And sometimes while we are moving forward someone puts "it" into play. And onward you go. Bam, bam, bam. Life is moving quickly. Just like in life how God will put things in our past that will score us our next "big run". Or He will give us something that will set us up for a big success.

     So many times, I want to get something new instead of getting creative and using what I have and what is right in front of me. But in all reality, God already has "it" coming up.
     Prime example: I've been praying/looking for a desk for my iMac..... the day my iMac came in (which the iMac was also an answered prayer... I did not have enough money for it, but God provided), God provided me with a desk..... for free. Not only that.... but a free meal to go along with it. And I forgot the desk lamp and chair. God is good. He provides.

     It's all in His plan, beloved. He's got it all under control. Live out your life with God first and you are the apple of His eye. He takes care of His children. He sees your needs. He sees your wants. He desires to fill both. He is a gooood, goooood daddy.

Living in Faith.

Raise your expectations. Step out in faith. If you can determine the outcome then I ask if you are truly trusting and relying on God. There has to be an unknown factor in living for God. That's where true faith comes in. When we don't know what's going to happen, or how it's going to happen- that is when God has the freedom to move and work in miraculous ways. We have to allow the Lord to be Lord over our lives... to let him move in our lives. But if we only live in the box of what we can do and what we can control.... then perhaps we are lord of our lives. Time for a bigger box where I don't know how it's all going to come together. 

Hebrews 11:1

Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.