What is Sizing You Up?

     This (crazy) woman has a pet boa constrictor. A snake that she absolutely loves. Loves so much that it sleeps with her at night. She noticed that he hadn't been eating for a while and that when he was sleeping he was sleeping in a straight line, when he normally slept curled up in ball. She decided to call her vet and ask him about it. As she tells him all of this he immediately says to get rid of the snake as soon as possible. Come to find out..... The snake had been fasting so he could save enough space to eat his owner. He had been sleeping straight up and down because he was sizing up his owner. And when he reached a certain length then he knew that he had enough space to eat her.
     Pretty dang gross right? I absolutely hate snakes, so I really hate this story. I thought about doing some research to find out more about this "sizing up" thing that they do, but refrained because I knew I'd have nightmares, and constantly be on the snake look out! However, I couldn't get this story out of my mind for quite a while. Because it floors me that the woman would sleep with a snake. That is ridiculous. As I began to think on this it hit me that we do the same things.
     We allow things in our life that can potentially harm or kill us. Addictions, ungodly relationships, ungodly habits and behaviors, etc. We know that it isn't what God intended for us- but we go ahead and let it sleep with us, size us up, and give it the opportunity to eat us alive. And that is exactly what sin will do. satan will use every opportunity that we give him to get into our lives. He can manipulate it to where in the beginning "it's not a big deal". The sin is so small that why would it even matter? (Sin always matters, that's a lie. It's from satan so don't listen to that!) But as time passes we get more comfortable with that sin in our life... and it grows... and before you know it, it's just like that boa constrictor. Waiting for the moment to take our life away. Sin is crouching at our door, and we must rule over it (Genesis 4:7).
     So, what do we do with this massive, life-sucking, killing, monster of a sin!?
1. We cut it off. Get rid of it. Give yourself no access to it. This is not a time to show yourself that you can be strong and just say no. No, do not even give yourself the opportunity to get into that area of sin again.
2. Get an accountability partner. It is too easy to go back to the things we are comfortable with. Having someone that will hold you accountable to your decision to go God's way over your own will be extremely helpful.
3. Replace it with something Godly. Find something that you can do for God.
4. Pray against that struggle. It is from satan- therefor it doesn't stand a chance. Rebuke it and replace it with the truth. For example, if you have trouble with body image- rebuke the lie that you aren't pretty. And replace it with "the King is enthralled by my beauty" (Psalm 45:11).
5. Dust yourself off and keep moving. Your past does not define you. You still have an opportunity to be the best you that God created. It's never too late.



     Take a look at your life and ask yourself the question, "What is sizing me up?" or "What am I trapped inside from allowing myself to "sleep" with ungodly harmful things?


I end this post with a quote from Kris Vallotin, "You have not been put on earth for the devil to tormet you, you have been put on this earth to torment the devil."



  

Grief. Isn't an equation.

      It's been a week since I blogged last. And to be honest, I am still numb. I don't know what to feel, what to write, what to say, or how to act. I've never dealt with death and grief. It's surreal. It goes against my heart. I don't want to believe that Pepaw is gone. Nor do I want to deal with moving on. It's pathetic almost. The other night, I put on regular mascara. That's a step, and I was proud. I was making a statement to myself that I wouldn't be sad. That I wouldn't cry. I, of course, cried. And am I mad that I cried? No. Because it is natural. I'm grieving. I looked at the steps of grief... and they didn't help. I don't know what will help- other than clinging to the One who has my heart in mind. Jesus.
     The only thing I know how to do is be emotional. Sometimes, it's not very loving. I get angry and irrational. I get mad over stupid things and don't want to be around anyone. And sometimes all I want/need- is simply for someone to love me and hold me. I get frustrated when I'm having fun. Why? Because I've forgotten that someone so special to me passed away. Should I get frustrated? No. Pepaw would want me to have fun, to laugh, and to continue living my life. But- I guess it's a part of grief.
      I don't know what I'm talking about. I'm not a scholar. Nor do I have my doctorate, heck, not even a completed semester of college. I guess I'm at a point where I don't know what to do next with my grief. But I also think, that if someone told me what to do- I wouldn't like it very much.
      So what's my plan? To let out whatever emotion I need to. When I'm happy- I'm gonna be happy. When I need to cry and be sad... I'll do just that. I'll let myself process this loss in my life. It's not something that next week I'm gonna be over. It's something that years from now- I will still struggle with. Maybe not as often, but it'll come up. And that's a lot to get your head around when you've never been through it before.
      I'll stand firm on my Rock. My provider. I'll rest in His Heavenly arms. I know that He will breathe strength into me and that He will hold my hand. I know that Pepaw is in a place where there is no weeping, no hurt, and no pain. And for that, I rejoice. I'll take the memories, the laughs, the cries, the fun times and the hard times... and I'll always remember my Pepaw. I'll remember the things he taught me and I'll be sure to make him proud.