"Jesus, What are YOU doing!?"

     "Jesus... what are You doing?" was the question I jotted down in my journal today. Sometimes in life things come in it that you just wonder what God has up His sleeve. That's what is going on in my life. This past week has been a week full of encounters with Him. He is stretching me, asking me to dream bigger, think larger, and be bolder. He's bringing things into my life that I "wonder" about. It's so easy to try and dissect every little thing and try to figure it all out. But, what good will that do? None.... I simply must come to a place of absolute trust.
     A friend recently told me, "Absolute trust = Absolute peace". Ah, the truth that is in that statement! If I am worrying over every little thing and trying to manipulate things into happening the way I see fit- I am not trusting. Therefore, I live in a chaotic mind set. A chaotic mindset is not aligning me to hear from the Lord.
     I want to always position myself to be able to hear from the Lord. So many times I catch myself complaining to my friends, "I'm just not hearing the Lord speak." How wrong am I!? So wrong. Either He IS speaking and my chaotic mind isn't listening. Or, He's already told me something and I haven't been obedient.
     Last month, the Lord spoke very clearly to me and told me to give a young girl in the church something. I shut it off and said no way. Last week, He told me again. This time, I obeyed. In that month- I was not hearing from the Lord. Since last Tuesday when I stepped out in obedience- I can not get enough of the Presence of God. He's been speaking to me.... that's just one testimony of when you obey the Lord you are aligning yourself to receive from Him. We have to be in alignment with His word and His kingdom. Pastor Jeff does such a great job at explaining this, I may have to get him to write a "blog" for me about it. :)
     Back to what God is doing in our lives. Stop worrying, He has it under control. It's so good to hear that sometimes. To be reminded of His faithfulness. He knows us better than we know ourselves. He doesn't withhold any good thing from us. He gives us the desires of our hearts.
     I was reading Psalms 103-105 today and I wanted to share a few truths from it:

104:27 God will give us our food at the proper time. Check out that verse! The hungry get fed!

104:30 He renews the Earth with His spirit. +Get in His presence, there is renewing. 

105:15 If you are walking in your anointing- you are protected. 

Stand on His promises. Allow God to work, don't try to figure it out. It's like your on a rollercoaster. If you know every turn and curve and up and down it can take the fun out of it. It's the surprises in roller coasters that make it fun. ;) Get ready people!

Get It Together

I don't feel like I have it all together. And if I am honest with myself, I don't have it all together. I oversleep. I eat too much. I don't exercise. I miss my quiet times. I talk to the Lord more than I listen. I don't stay on my budget. And like last night, I skipped doing my homework. Simply, because I didn't want to do it. 

Why is it that I do this!? I get so frustrated with myself. As I talk to other people, I find out that I am not the only one. But this morning, I apologized to the Lord for it. And He spoke back, "I didn't ask you to have it all together." That's the thing. He didn't. He asked us to love him and serve him. (Amongst other things as well.) He asked us to love him totally and completely. He asked us to live a lifestyle that lines up with the word. He asked us to love him so completely that it becomes a lifestyle. 

He isn't a perfect recipe or formula. Yes, according to the world I should be up at 8am, eating healthy, exercising, etc, etc. But if I do all of that but not love….. what am I!? Nothing. I must love. I must love with my entire being. I must love and serve whole-heartedly. Completely abandoned to His will.

I will not be so ignorant to dismiss my lack of discipline because I love the Lord. I totally believe that the Lord wants us to live a life with some solid disciplines. Look at Proverbs 5:23- "For lack of discipline they will die, led astray by their own great folly. 

Folly: Definition: Noun: Foolishness, stupidity, thoughtlessness

So, as I was praying and asking the Lord for a passion to wake up at 8am, ready to go exercise, and resist Coca-Colas; He reassured me that He has me in His hand. That He loves me like I am. But that yes, I do need to work on some things in my life. One lie that I have told myself, is that one day I would reach perfection. I would "have it all together". And that's not true. Some days, I might. But other days, I might not get it all just right. I don't go into my day with a defeated attitude saying that I'll never be able to do this. I wake up, put on the armor of the Lord, fill myself with His word and truth, and dive into the day confident in what the Lord has called me to. 

He doesn't want us to have it all together, He wants us to be intentional. Intentional about: spending time with Him, serving Him, loving and serving others, taking care of our bodies (adequate sleep, exercise, and eating healthy), and walking in our individual purpose and callings. 

I encourage you with the fact that you aren't the only one who doesn't have it all together. But that it's okay. Just start working on being intentional. And remember that He's holding you. He's got your back. And their is grace for our lives with Him. 

Stumped Toes & Running into Doors

     One of the things that I seem to do is run into half opened doors, or stump my toe on a piece of furniture that has always been in that exact spot.  Another thing is at my house I have to park on the street, most times I have to turn my car around at the end of the street so I can park on the same side of the street that my house is on. So I go to the end and do a U turn. There are hardly ever any cars on the street I intersect with my turnaround, so I always just stop and go. One day, I stopped and started to pull out and realized that I didn't even look to see if there's a car coming. Don't worry I didn't wreck, I just had to stop abruptly. I had made a habit in my mind that I never have to REALLY stop at that stop sign.
    There are small things in our life that are so normal to us that we don't ever stop to make sure that God is speaking to us about it. For example, with the doors, most of the time the doors I run into are typically never closed, so when they are my mind doesn't register in enough time that it's not open all the way. And then, BAM, I run into it. There are things in our life that have been normal and on schedule that God wants to speak to us about. Or wants to close that part of our life, but we have gotten so used to it that it's become second nature. When God is saying, "Brennen! Wake up, that's not good enough for you any more. Let it go!" "Brennen, you are called to live a life of holiness- that isn't cutting it! Cut it out of your life." "Brennen, proceed with caution, stop and be aware of your surroundings!" "Beloved, this door is shut, but I have a better one open for you! Pay attention!"
     So what half closed doors are you still running into? Any streets you've failed to proceed with caution in? It's time for me to pay attention to the things in my life that I've left God out of and to listen up.
    

Brennen, It's Time for a Pep Talk!

     I am a note taker. I have to write stuff down to remember it. I have to write stuff down to process it. If I don't write it down.... it's trouble. Pastor Jeff has some powerful messages... the revelations God downloads into him are noteworthy. But the note that I have written on top of my papers these past few weeks during the sermon has been this: Brennen- Get your stuff together!
     What's funny is that a couple of months ago I was telling my mom I wanted to slap some people and them them to get their crap together. And now- I want to slap myself and say, "Get it together!" But in reality, it's tough getting it together. It's a conscious decision that has to be made. And you have to continue to make it until it becomes a habit.
     I struggle with time management and prioritizing. Sometimes I put sleep, myself, my fleshly desires to come before God. I'd rather get the extra 30/45 minutes of sleep instead of getting up and getting my mind renewed with God. Or, I'd rather do absolutely nothing on facebook at night than get things accomplished. So, Brennen- it's time to get your time management together!
     I also have a dominating personality. I absolutely hate it when I come home from hanging out with people and thinking, "You dominated that whole conversation, you didn't even let anyone speak." So Brennen, it's time to get your listening skills on and let some people talk.
     Pastor Jeff gave a message tonight that spoke directly to my heart. It was all about getting your stuff together. He had great points. (Godly spin on the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People). You have to be deliberate about it. You have to live intentionally or life will pass right by you and before you know it- you have gray hair and your sitting on a rocking chair saying "what the heck did I do with my life!?" I have NO desire to do that! I want to have gray hair, sit on a rocking chair (with my smokin' hot [old] husband, talking about how great God moved in my life and how He is still moving.
     So Brennen, it's time to get intentional. I have to give myself pep talks. I'm glad you could join this one. :)