"Jesus, What are YOU doing!?"

     "Jesus... what are You doing?" was the question I jotted down in my journal today. Sometimes in life things come in it that you just wonder what God has up His sleeve. That's what is going on in my life. This past week has been a week full of encounters with Him. He is stretching me, asking me to dream bigger, think larger, and be bolder. He's bringing things into my life that I "wonder" about. It's so easy to try and dissect every little thing and try to figure it all out. But, what good will that do? None.... I simply must come to a place of absolute trust.
     A friend recently told me, "Absolute trust = Absolute peace". Ah, the truth that is in that statement! If I am worrying over every little thing and trying to manipulate things into happening the way I see fit- I am not trusting. Therefore, I live in a chaotic mind set. A chaotic mindset is not aligning me to hear from the Lord.
     I want to always position myself to be able to hear from the Lord. So many times I catch myself complaining to my friends, "I'm just not hearing the Lord speak." How wrong am I!? So wrong. Either He IS speaking and my chaotic mind isn't listening. Or, He's already told me something and I haven't been obedient.
     Last month, the Lord spoke very clearly to me and told me to give a young girl in the church something. I shut it off and said no way. Last week, He told me again. This time, I obeyed. In that month- I was not hearing from the Lord. Since last Tuesday when I stepped out in obedience- I can not get enough of the Presence of God. He's been speaking to me.... that's just one testimony of when you obey the Lord you are aligning yourself to receive from Him. We have to be in alignment with His word and His kingdom. Pastor Jeff does such a great job at explaining this, I may have to get him to write a "blog" for me about it. :)
     Back to what God is doing in our lives. Stop worrying, He has it under control. It's so good to hear that sometimes. To be reminded of His faithfulness. He knows us better than we know ourselves. He doesn't withhold any good thing from us. He gives us the desires of our hearts.
     I was reading Psalms 103-105 today and I wanted to share a few truths from it:

104:27 God will give us our food at the proper time. Check out that verse! The hungry get fed!

104:30 He renews the Earth with His spirit. +Get in His presence, there is renewing. 

105:15 If you are walking in your anointing- you are protected. 

Stand on His promises. Allow God to work, don't try to figure it out. It's like your on a rollercoaster. If you know every turn and curve and up and down it can take the fun out of it. It's the surprises in roller coasters that make it fun. ;) Get ready people!

Learning. Receiving. Ministry.

I just posted a status on facebook and decided that I had more to say on the subject. I get so frustrated with people that can not receive from others. This is probably because I struggle with receiving from others, but with that being said, I'm working on it. My goal in every church I walk in to, every time I spend time with someone, is to learn something from them. I want to be able to be ministered to just as much as I minister to others. We all need time to connect with God. We must spend time in intimacy with the Lord. Intimacy produces fruit. And anything healthy grows. We must spend time with the Lord and with others to be healthy.
     Many times whenever we are super involved in ministry we get so involved in the doing. The to-do lists, what isn't going right, what needs to be fixed, what we need to work on- that we totally view the church as a workplace. Subconciously we come in the doors ignoring the fact that we are stepping on holy ground, that we are entering into the house of the Lord.
     If you are a worship leader- can you go to a church service and worship under someone else's leadership? Same as a pastor? Any ministry that you are in... can you be under someone else's leadership? Are you always the teacher on the subject or do you learn from others? Are you the only one you can hear from? Of course, we test everything Biblically. But allow yourself to sit in the presence of the Lord.
     Have we also become so overwhelmed with ourselves that we aren't even listening to the Lord's input on our ministries? Do we seek His face for where we are in leadership? Or can we get past our great ideas, strategic planning, and overthinked strategies? We must always be able to learn from the Lord. To receive correction from our Savior. Just like a parent- Our Papa God will always encourage us, but there is also a time for correction in our walk with the Lord. And..... it is okay! It's totally fine to be corrected by our Savior. And if you obey him  and change- that shows that you are able to hear God on not only the great things but also on the things that are difficult to change.

So how do we get to this place? Where we can be ministered to just as much, if not more, as we minister to others. Practically..... You can develop a group of close friends that can speak into your life, and not ones that are scared of offending you. But friends that will be a friend and speak truth into your life. And when you step into the house of the Lord don't forget that you are on holy ground. Love on Jesus and allow Jesus to love on you. Make a list of things you are working on. One of the top things that is on my list is this: Learn from everyone. Love while learning. Love learning.
    

Broken Volume Control.

     You never realize the things that bring so much joy to your life until it's gone. In July my gorgeous [identical] twin sister used my car while I was in LA. When I got home and got in the car- she began to giggle. And then gave me this sheepish "I did something wrong face." And explained to me that somehow my volume button broke on my radio. 3 months later, I am still grieving the death of my volume button. It is stuck at a comfortable volume 10. Which, is great when I have a headache, or if someone is in the car where there is uncomfortable silence. However, it is not so great when I'm trying to talk on the phone or when I simply want to JAM to some music. I have become fully aware of my inability to sing consistently or good. And quite frankly, I'm ready to be able to sing again without hearing myself. :)

     I was going to write this blog on something totally different then what is about to come out of these quickly moving fingers. The Lord just quickened my spirit and let me in on a revelation. There are "volume buttons" in my life that need to be broken at a comfortable 10. Why? So I can see some of my faults. And now that I think about it, I'm pretty sure my volume button on life is on mute! See my last blog post and you can realize that I am in a state of change. God has revealed to me that I am a control freak and a few other things on how I live my life that are not so Godly.

     It's so easy to just turn it up and ignore it. To drown it out. Pay no attention to it. And let it get worst. But God has a different plan. It's not that He wants to make you feel horrible- it's that it is simply a part of life. We live and we learn. We make mistakes, we stand up, and move on. My precious Savior wants the best for me. And sometimes I have to come to a reality of the things I'm struggling with so I can be redeemed. Redemption is the Lord's heart cry. He wants you back. He wants to restore and rebuild.

     What are the things you cover up? It's not bad to be vulnerable. It brings you to a place of intimacy with the Lord. I am by no means an expert on this, or I would have realized years ago my control problems. Because it's been going on since birth. For real. That's how bad it is. :) Feel free to pray for me this week as I let go and Let God take care of things for me. As I draw people toward instead of pushing them away when things don't go my way. It goes against everything I have taught my mind. My God is so capable of redeeming, restoring, loving, teaching, comforting, and rebuilding me. Just like He's capable of doing the same for you.