“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28

Thursday, December 31, 2009

Recap and Reentry.

I confess, I am a horrible blogger! It's been too long since I have updated. Forgive me! So lets begin!

I am now home and in the USA after 5 months in Panama, Central America; I successfully completed and graduated from my Discipleship Training School with Youth With A Mission. I spent the 5 months all over Panama and in Costa Rica for 2 weeks as well. I was stretched and pushed in every part of my life during that time.

When we began our outreach I decided that each day I would write down at least one thing that I learned. Some are simple, some are big, some are silly, and some are "serious". I thought I would share these things that I learned.

Outreach Lessons... November Lessons.
1. Invest in people, listen to their stories, and learn from them. Focus on the good and not the bad in people.
2. Work with your entire heart, don't half do it. God wants your best, even if you don't like what you are doing.
3. Be open to different ways of minstering. God can give you a heart for the people you are serving and that style of serving.
4. We live for an Audience of One. We work for God! Even if we don't see the entire picture, God wants and desires our best, in every part of our life.
5. Remember Mary and Martha... sometimes you have to stop working and spend time and invest in other people.
6. Share. Trust that god will take care of everything, especially finances. (On this day- God provided me with 40 extra dollars :))
7. Take every opportunity to share the Lord.. it may be there only time to hear about the Lord.. even if they are drunk. (I gave my testimony to a gym full of drunk people that yelled the entire time.)
8. Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord. Don't settle. Just wait- God will reveal His plan. There is beauty in the waiting.
9. Be thankful for those around you.. take time to uplift and encourage them. James 3. Accept people's differences.. that is how god made them and made us.
10. Be flexible... sometimes it's good to just go with the flow.
11. Do you remember that evangelism is a lifestyle? It's not something that you go and do.
12. Love people for where they are and who they are. See them in God's eyes. Are your actions causing others to stumble, sin or become frustrated? Deal with the root of any problems.
13. Don't underestimate yourself. God can use you even just the way you are.
14. Take time to enjoy life and to spend tiem with people. Trust that God will meet your wants along with your needs.
15. Step out of your comfort zone. Let God use you where He wants you.
16. Enjoy life.. even the little things, like getting McDonalds.
17. You can learn something from every person- it all depends on your perspective.
18. Listen to the Holy Spirit- don't take every "bad" feeling as something wrong- ask the Lord what He desires in the situation, it may just require you to be uncomfortable and to stretch yourself.
19. There is no seperation of spiritual and physical. It's yep- both. (Everything is Spiritual by Rob Bell.)
20. The Lord provides big and small, even bacon.
21. Laughter is a gift from God- enjoy life. Proverbs 17:21 We have a lot of plans in our hearts, but it is the Lord's PURPOSE which prevails.
22. Everyone has something to share, everyone shares differently- be open to their methods.
23. God is to us as we were to the Mother Theresa patients. They depended compeltely on us and the nurses to feed them and keep them clean, to love and spend time with them. Be grateful for the health and well being you have.
24. Be where you are today. Let tomorrow worry about itself. Be where you are 100%. Sing, clap, dance, enjoy life.
25. Family isn't just those whoa re blood related it's the ones who have been there the ones that support you and love you.
26. It's hard to look for the good everyday- it's easy to get sucked into self-pity. But be thankful for what you do have and look for the good.

These are the lessons from November.. my ones from the other 2 months are in a different journal. These are things that I wanted myself to remember after I got home and got back into my normal things and habits. Which I am praying will not happen. :)

My time in Panama was such a blessing, I learned many things. I was blessed by my time with my team and with the people that we reached. We did many different types of ministry during our Outreach. I had the opportunity to experience many different types of evangelism. I am very happy to be back at home and be with my family. I miss Panama and my group but I know that God has plans for me in the future. I am currently praying about where God wants me in the "job field". I prayed about going to college this semester and really felt like God was telling me that I did not need to go to college yet. I appreciate prayers for me as I search and pray for a job. And also and prayers concerning re-entering in to the United States. That in itself is a process and a job. It is more difficult that I thought it would be.

Thank you for your prayer and financial support while I was in Panama. I am forever grateful for you all. Love each of you. I'd be happy to talk or answer any questions that anyone has about my journey. Love.

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Thanksgiving in Panama

So Thanksgiving in Panama is not as bad as I thought it was gonna be... yet it is still hard. I am so unbelievably thankful for my family. They are so awesome.. which makes it extra hard to be away from them. They are so supportive in everything that I have chosen to do and am praying about doing. They are the source of many smiles and laughter while in a different country. Being in a different country is totally different than I thought it would be. It's hard and good all at the same time. This DTS in a whole has been very hard but also very good. I am so thankful that I decided to do this.. and that God provided the way for me to come. He has stretched me in many different ways. With just 2 weeks left in this DTS I am reminded how much I have learned, how much I have changed, and how awesome God is. Despite the fact that I miss home and my family like crazy, God is still good. He has provided me with my "YWAM family" and last night we had an awesome Thanksgiving meal. I had probably one of the best turkeys ever, followed with all sorts of awesomeness. I was very thankful for my skirt that has ajustable buttons so it could grow with my belly last night after my 4 or 5 platefuls. Anyways, this blog is a bunch of ramblings, but needless to say I am thankful.

My Top 10 Thankful List:
1. Awesome parents that support me in everything.
2. A beautiful twin sister who somehow allowed me to be away for 5 months.
3. My awesome brother who I miss so much.
4. My entire family!
5. My YWAM family, who has been here for me this past 5 months in each situation that I have come to face.
6. New friendships that are lifelong and ones that I will never forget.
7. The beautiful sceneary I am surrounded with.
8. My DTS group.. I love each of you more than you know and am so thankful to be able to spend a season of our lives together.
9. Laughter- how would I get through life without it?
10. My amazing, awesome, wonderful, faithful and mind blowing Savior! He provided my every need, He is constant, He is the best thing that has happened to me.

Happy Thanksgiving from Panama!

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Outreach Update :)

Oh wow, so much to catch everyone up on! Our outreach is going awesome, we continue to see the Lord working in many different ways. We have been to 5 different cities doing a variety of ministry. The first city we went to after our Costa Rica trip was to Boquete which is in Chiriqui. We were supposed to go somewhere else but they canceled on us, so we began praying about where we should go.. there had been a lot of flooding and mudslides in Chiriqui, so that is where we went! I was able to have two weeks of nice cool weather! Praise the Lord! We helped the town by cleaning out trenches from the mudslides. After digging a trench in Costa Rica as well we considered renaming Discipleship Training School to Digging Trenches Siempre (Always in Spanish). Haha. ☺ We stayed in a big gymnasium where one night they played soccer until 1230 and didn’t leave the gym until 1! We were able to do a drama inbetween a soccer game and I was able to give a short testimony.
After Boquete, we traveled to Parita then to Los Santos, followed by Las Tablas, and ending in Aguadulce. We did a lot of house to house ministry and programs in the park. I got the opportunity to be a preacher and I preached at a church one Sunday morning. The Lord is teaching us all sorts of things and stretching us and using us in ways we never thought we would be used. We are discovering gifts and passions that we haven’t experienced or felt before as well.
We came back to base on Saturday the 21st where a nice comfortable bed awaited us, after sleeping on the floor for several weeks it was a nice “homecoming”. We have been working in Colon these past few days visiting the Mother Theresa Home and the Salvation Army. I have been so super blessed by these two places. The Mother Theresa Home- I fed 2 blind men and a cute 4 year old boy that hit me and threw cornflakes at me. :) And was able to help the sisters out by feeding and playing with the kids. Life is so precious and we are so blessed by the abilities that we have. God works with us the same way that we were working with them. They relied on us for their food, their smiles, their communication. They trust that the sisters will feed them, clothe them, bathe them. In the same way- God does the same for us. He puts time and effort into us, he desires our attention, even when we throw fits and ignore him. He still desires us. It was such a humbling experience to help someone out with daily things that I take for granted.
Yesterday, we went to Salvation Army where I met an awesome blind gentleman named, Mr. Bennet. He was such a blessing to me, I was able to read some of his favorite passages to him from the Bible. Even though I didn’t get through half a verse at a time because he wanted to make sure I understood. ☺ So cute and precious. He sang songs for me, took pictures with me, taught me many things, and prayed for me.
I am learning so much on this outreach and on this “adventure” here in Panama. We leave Friday to go to the jungle for a week. Please be praying for my sleep, I am nervous about that aspect of being in the jungle for that extended period of time. We are going to 2 villages to work with both the Kuna and the Embera indigenous Indians. Be praying for language barriers and for the superstitious indigenous customs they have set in place. After our week in the jungle I will have one more week of debrief and then I will be home! Thank you for your prayers.. I will be updating again as soon as I can after the jungle. Love you all. B.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Updates and Pictures!

here are some pictures of my past two weeks.... that is my little buddy alejo, walking for one of his first times... and the first picture is of me digging a ditch at a school in san jose, costa rica....

I am absolutely loving this time I get to spend serving the Lord.. Thank you for all of your prayers- we leave tomorrow to go back to Panama to help in some provinces that are suffering from flash floods, we feel that the Lord has really guided us to help with the floods, so be praying for the lives that we will come into contact with that have lost homes and family members due to these floods. Besos!

Sunday, November 1, 2009


Wow! What an awesome week we had in Bocas Del Torro. We began our trip there on a 9 hour bus ride to Bocas in the middle of the night, followed by 2 water taxis to the island where we spent the rest of the week. We stayed at a YWAM base that was a solar house. So our electricity and water came from the sun and rain... we were off the grid. Which is pretty cool, but then also not so cool when we ran really low on water. So I got the pleasure of bathing in a small creek down the hill. The house is right on the water, so beautiful. And it is also just a small island about 12 miles long I think. We did various things throughout the week on this island... one of my focuses was on a little boy named Alejos.
Alejos is the 2 and a half year old son of an indigenous woman, and her husband is the only father that Alejos knows. He is very sick, malnourished and scared. He just sat most of the time while we were there. He had never taken a step without someone holding his hand and his belly pouched out and his legs were very thin. After building his trust he let me hold him and do some physical therapy with his legs. We fed him and just loved on him. By the end of the week he was walking holding one hand, taking a few steps on his own, and we found a place where he can go and stay to get nourished back to health.
This little guy really touched my heart, he is such a blessing in my life. I have found one of the things in ministry that I absolutely love to do. God taught me so much through this little guy. How many times do we do the same thing with God? He wants to help us get stronger but we cry and we don´t let him hold us and love us... this week I have learned to sit in my Heavenly Father´s lap and trust him to help me get stronger... even if I´m sore after or it hurts during the process...

We are now in San Jose, Costa Rica staying at a YWAM base in Heredia (you can goodle YWAM Herdia and they have a website) and this awesome base has washing machines, hot water, internet and it´s cold here! How awesome is that! My hair looks pretty for the first time in 3.5 months! Haha... I am so blessed to be on this journey with the Lord. I should be updating again soon, maybe even posting a few picture of Alejos and me! Thank you for your prayers... I love you all!

Friday, October 23, 2009

fast typer.

Heyyy friends, this is another fast blog post! We are leaving in 15 minutes to go to Bocas Del Torro for a week, after that week we will go to Costa Rica then travel our way back to base for Thanksgiving!

Be in prayer for:
all travels.. we are traveling a lot... after Costa Rica we will be in cities for 3 or 4 days then moving again.

programs we put on in streets.. that people would be touched

patience for me while traveling.. I can be a grumpy traveler ;)

our team unity...

preparing the hearts of the people we will come in contact with!

I love you all and am so excited to see what God is going to do this outreach! Ill post when I have internet... that could be who knows when! (pray for that too :))



Monday, October 12, 2009

cruzada: outreach.

outreach begins today! crazy huh? i am writing in a hurry- which gives me an excuse to not captialize anything :) hahah... anyways- outreach begins today- we will be spending 2 weeks in the city doing street, school, hospital ministry.. performing dramas, giving testimonies, prayer walking, our way cool hip hop dance and other things as well... we are partnering with a team from belize.. i am so excited and cant wait to see what God is gonna do! i love you all.. keep praying.. also dont send any more packages to that last address... we have a new one.. and i dont know what that one is.. i forgot... so just dont send it to those.. love love love.... .b

Monday, October 5, 2009

Errebache, Chrique, Outreach

This past week.. has been awesome! I am beginning to love this country even more the more I see it. Last week was Week 10 of Lecture Phase and our topic was Spiritual Warfare. We got the opportunity to travel around Panama and pray over many cities and places.

The first place we visited was a village called Erebache... so cool. We drove our vans about an hour and a half to a place then hopped on some dugout boats for a 20 minute boat ride tot he village. This village is a smaller one that the chief started for tourism tours. We got to sleep in a hut on a wood floor.. bathe in the river.. swim in the river.. hug a monkey.. have class outside.. and many other exciting things.

We then came back to base had a day we spent praying in the city and then we left for Chirique. Which I LOVE! It is up inthe mountains.... so I got to be cold! It was amazing.. after sweating every day non stop, being cold is quite the treat. They also had awesome coffee, and delcious strawberries. We prayed in several cities and places on the way and got to see the beauty of Panama. Seriously, God is so amazing.. he is so unique and a very taleneted artist! It was awesome.

This next week is our last week of lecture phase.. can you believe it!? Then we start outreach! This weeks teaching is on evangalism and our base director will be teaching once again. It should be awesome. Then we will start our 8 week outreach all over Panama... we will be in Panama City, Bocas Del Toro, and every province of Panama, and also a week in Costa Rica. Which is so cool! I am so excited to see how God is going to move. We are still preparing dramas, dances, and our testimonies in preparation for outreach.

Be praying about how God can use each of my teammates and myself and also for unity in the group. The closer we are with each other the more God can use us! We wanna be his hands, wanna be his feet.. we will go where he sends us, go where he sends us.

Also... I cant remember if I wrote this in a blog or not.. but I thought I had a ton of chiggers on my legs a few weeks ago after Niko... well it wasnt chiggers.. I got a fungus.. but I got some medicine and cream for my legs and I am now not constantly scratching my legs! Praise the Lord.

God is so goooood.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

God is good.

I am so late on writing this blog- I apologize! These past few weeks have been crazy busy. 2 weeks ago our teaching was on Story telling and that was very interesting. Probably not my favorite week- but it was interesting to listen to our class tell story sets from the Old Testament. I got the privaledge of telling the story of David and Bathsheba, so that was pretty funny. Anyways- it was a good week. This past week we learned about World View- and the Christian Idea v. Pagan Tyranny v. Pagan Individualism... still learning and thinking about MY World View.. and how it lines up with the Bible.
To be honest- I have had a slump these past 2 weeks.. just not been myself and frustrated.. but I am coming out of it.. and so thankful for that. I am so excited about this next week... We are going to be traveling all week around Panama.. doing a week of teaching on Spiritual Warfare.. going to a village called Erabache and then also Chirique.. which is "colder" than here, and has strawberries! YAY!

My birthday was so good here.. I was worried that it would be bad considering my first one without Chels.. but I woke up to a big box full of cokes, candy, and goodies.. then had my breakfast french toast ready for me at breakfast.. had all my plates and stuff washed.. got to eat mashed patatoes- so good... took my 5th hott shower since I have been here- THEN I slept on a couch!!! Haha.. said I was just gonna hang out for a minute and woke up 2 hours later.. crazy huh? We also went to Bennigans to eat- so good.. and came home to bag of 2 liter coca cola, maria cookies, and munchies! It was a good one.. totally missed twin- but it was still good.

God is good. All the time.

That's all for now! Love.


Saturday, September 12, 2009

Baptism :)

I am simply amazed at the grace and beauty of God. Today I got to experience something that I will always remember the rest of my life. I was baptized in the Chagre River with 7 other brothers and sisters in Christ. I was baptized when I was 7 years old, after I made the decision to let Jesus into my heart, but it was just going through the steps. I was young and I knew what I was doing but I really do not remember being baptized. The only memory I have of it is from a picture, so when one of the "home" kids told our base director he wanted to be baptized Rich opened it up to anyone. I had a meeting with Rich and we discussed what this baptism would mean to me.
This is what I shared with him- I am ready to lay everything at Jesus' feet. Give complete and total control to my Savior. Let him be Lord of my life. I am done with the things of the past. I am unashamed and am committed to allow the Lord to speak to me, work through me, and use me in any way that he has planned. I want nothing holding me back, it's time for me and God to really spend time together. For me to get to know him, and listen to him.
So at 10 o'clock this morning we headed to the Chagre River.. we had a time of worship and then our time of baptism. I was the 7th to go, it was beautiful to see all of these indigenous youth giving their lives to the Lord. As my turn came, extreme excitement filled my spirit. As I was immersed in the water I let all my shame, pain, sin, and guilt come off of me, let the Holy Spirit take control.. I am pretty sure I yelled whenever I came up. It was a beautiful experience.. and I am so glad I did it. I now can remember the day I was baptized, completely laying everything at His feet.
Another cool thing about the baptism was that 3 nations were represented. All of the other youth that were baptized are from indigenous villages, and they live on base to be able to go to school and get their education. I am so blessed to have experienced this with such beautiful children of God. Praise the Lord. :) I am a new creation, I am alive in Christ, and I am a child of God. Dios es Bueno.

Monday, September 7, 2009

Pura Vida

Costa Rica was absolutely amazing... that country is so beautiful. (We were in Talemanca and Bambu, Costa Rica.) I love Costa Rica! I am pretty sure that I have said that so many times since we have gotten back to Panama. I was able to see a lot of the beauty of Costa Rica; the mountains, rivers, jungle, ocean, and so much more. I am so amazed at the beauty of that country. I think it's going into my second favorite country slot. :) My Niko was so good for me, stretched me in a lot of areas that needed to be stretched. I can't tell you all the details but I can tell you that I would love to see a group from home do a Niko. Part of the Niko is that you don't know anything before you do it. So... you'll just have to trust me that it is a very good and challenging week. The days before and after the Niko in Costa Rica were so much fun- this fun included a WARM SHOWER. Yep... got to take my first warm shower... it was glorious. Hot showers will be heaven.. I am completely convinced... and they will never run out of hott water either. We also went to Puerto Viejo- which is a touristy spot- with a BEAUTIFUL ocean. One downer from the trip is that quite a few people from our group got sick.. including myself. Stomach aches and frequent trips to the restroom. Our group got to know each other a lot this week... haha. But- God is good and so is life. Pura Vida. Pure Life-- is a common saying in Costa Rica.... I think I am going to adapt that phrase as well. Chow.

P.S.-- 95 more days ;)

Saturday, August 29, 2009

Hasta luego Panama, Hola Costa Rica!

Yayyyyyyy... We leave in an hour to go to Costa Rica! We will be in Talemanca for a week.. should return either next Saturday or Sunday! Be praying for our team as we "bond" and also that God will reveal himself mightily to us! We will be doing a Niko Adventure Camp- so spending some time in the jungle.. should be fun and adventurous. Thanks for praying. Love you all.

Monday, August 24, 2009

Back to the Basics.

I would say it is time for an update... I have had limited time since my laptop was stolen to come down to the computer room and post a blog! But this past week being laptop less I have spent more time with the Lord. I am still learning, and learning, and learning. This crazy relationship we have with Jesus is so much more than we think it is. It is a lifestyle- commited to His Will and the Truth we find in the Bible.
Today in class we were asked where we are with our relationship with Jesus. This is a difficult question to answer.. you have to be extremely honest with yourself and vulnerable to those around you. What I found was interesting, we are all in similar positions. Every one in our group has been taken out of their churches, their religions, their homes and placed in a place where we are deciding what WE believe in. Not me and my famliy, not me and my church, not me and my friends, but what do I think about my life with Jesus. What do I believe in? The thing that I am finding is I can not go on anything but the Word of the Lord.
I have experienced and learned about many new things this past week. Last week our teaching was about the fall of man. I was brought into this whole new subject of "the spirtual realm". I am still processing all of this information, and seeking out what the Bible has to say.. but the basis of it all is that if it's in the Bible- it's true. So my challenge to myself and to all of you all is to stop looking at your relgion and hiding under all your "good" deeds and ideas- and come back to the basics, to the basis of your whole faith. Do an evaluation on your relationship with the Lord.. ask yourself the hard questions. Be vulnerable to others. Be open to the voice of God. I so often treat my relationship with the Lord as a one way relationship- I do all the talking he does all the listening... that is so not how it is supposed to be. We were created to be in constant converstaion and obedience with the Lord. My goal this week is to really come to the basics of why I believe in the Son of God.. and why I believe that he created me and what my purpose is. This will take me more than 1 week... but as long as it takes I'm open. This one way relationship now has another lane...
Sigh... I feel better after getting that out.. I hope that it challenges you as much as it challenges me. We leave for Costa Rica on Saturday night and will return either the next Saturday or Sunday. We will be doing a Niko Adventure Camp... which we are not allowed to know what we will be doing, nor will I be allowed to share with you all. But I do know that I will not have my own toothpaste, shampoo, or a razor for 5 days. We received a packing list with everything we could bring.. nothing more. I have a feeling it will be an intense but very rewarding time with the Lord and with my team.
You can begin to pray for that... also- this week Carlos from Cali is our teacher and he is teaching on "destiny/calling/whatever God leads him to" so pray for him and for our team. Today was an awesome day. If I get the time I will update again before Niko!
You all are awesome! Love you!

Monday, August 17, 2009


We had a "bad" day on base yesterday.. again. My laptop and blackberry were stolen along with 2 other laptops, another cell phone, an iPod, and one of my juice boxes.. averaging about $3,500.50 worth of goodies. The again part is because the first weekend we were here some belogingins of the guys were stolen from their dorm. So the thief knew we would be at church and took advantage of that and intruded into our dorm room and took our belongings. Normally, I hide my valuables... but I was rushed yesterday along with all the other girls to get to church and ran out of time. The thief got lucky... we took a trip to the Panama police station and filed a report and the police are (hopefully) working on finding the items/thief. Pray for justice in this situation. I am trying very hard to turn the other cheek and forgive the thief.. it is not an easy thing to do. I worked very hard for my Macbook and paid for it myself, so it was a major downer for it to be stolen. Also I had a lot of documents, music and many picture on there that are hard to replace. I know that God will work for the good in this situation but it is hard to see that right now. We are going to start locking the gate part of our door (which we didn't know about before).. and we are locking it even at night while we sleep. Alot of us feel very violated and it freaked us out a bit.. the thief went through our suitcases and threw some things around.. so it was a bit scary. So my blog posts may not be as many- but I am going to try and continue to post.. my laptop being stolen will give me more time to spend with the Lord.. so there is a blessing in it.. sigh.... love you all, it's time for dinner! Chow.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009


I am so thankful for the gift of laughter. Let me share some funny times with you! 

My friend Katie and I are on "projects" for our work duty, which is also known as- hard labor. The first day we just had to wash the 2 vans and a truck, however both of us laughed the entire time. Then, today we had to rake all of the leaves out of the draining system.. but it wasn't just leaves- rotting mangos were also in there.. and they were all wet so it was heavier than normal... haha.. it's probably one of those "had to be theres" but it was quite a sight watching us. 

Another one, in the girls dorm we all have mosquito nets around our mattresses (we sleep on the bottom of a bunk bed) so once we get in bed we never want to get out.. so every night whoever is the last to get in bed also gets to get everyone else their: flashlights, chocolate, pen, bible, socks, tylenol, or anything else you could think of that you could forget before you get in bed! So night time is always hilarious. 

This one is a cute story- I have a little friend, her name is Eve (Eh-vey), she is around 2 I am pretty sure maybe closer to 3... but I taught her the song and motions to "Noah built a big big boat, doo dah, doo dah.. Noah built a big big boat, Ohh a doo da dayy, it's gonna rain all night, it's gonna rain all day, Noah built a big big boat so we could float away" so everytime I see her running around on base she always throws her hand up ready to do the hammer motion.. then once we sing it once, it usually is followed by "otra vez! otra vez!" which means "again, again!".

I love being cold- we have AC during class time, so I always sit front seat center because that is exactly where the cold air hits! I love it.. 

They say I have an accent.... what's that? I think THEY have the accent!

Many times we laugh at simple things- such as slipping and almost "biting it" because the steps and everything is usually slippery. 

Even though I may be thousands of miles away from every babysitee, guess who has babysat since they have been in Panama! ME! Except I do it for free here :) (I ask for snickers or a Coca Cola!) Haha.. that's for all of my little kids out there I babysit.. I miss you ninos and ninas! 

My past 2 shower times have been absolutely hysterical... which all of them are... because even though I have taken 25+ cold showers, the coldness still surprises me! So I always start out with some nice "woos" and most everyone passing the bathroom house knows I am showering... anyways... today my shower started normal.. until I looked to get my scrubber- and I had company- a frog! So I screamed, loudly, jumped out while some friends came in and saved the day and got the frog out of my shower. It was hilarious. 

I am so greatful for these funny and sweet times.. I will be posting what I am learning this week soon.. I think that it is such a useful and is affecting my life so much that it will do the same for you all. I love each of you! 

I also made it to where anyone can comment on my blogs now.. so comment away! I love hearing feedback and what is going on in your life! 

Love always- B

Sunday, August 9, 2009

3rd Sunday

Well, I have made it 3 Sundays! And it has been so much fun since the beginning.. we also learned that we are going to Costa Rica on August 28th to do an adventure camp called Niko. They aren't allowed to tell us much about it- and we won't be able to say much about it so future participants won't find out anything. But, I have a feeling I will be growing quite a bit- and that I will be spending a week in the jungle. I am nervous- but totally excited. God is continuing to show himself to me and I love it. I love my group and Panama. Praise the Lord. :) Until later as they say in Panama, Chow. 

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Week 2

Not such a great picture, but still shows the beauty of Panama.
This is my friend Katie and I on the bus- that was extremely hot our first Sunday here!
I have been here for 2 weeks and that blows my mind.. I am so blessed to be here and to be learning the things I am learning. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity for me to spend 5 months getting to know God... I love it. I never have taken the time to get to know him. He was just a thing on my to-do list. Yes, I had a personal relationship with him... but I didn't know him like I know Chelsea or any other of my friends or family members. And part of knowing God is knowing yourself. Which is exactly what I am beginning to learn... who I am. No one is here to tell me what to believe, I am put into a place where I have to know what I stand for as a Christian and as a follower of the Most High. I started with a clean slate with the people in my DTS group- the only thing they knew about me was that I was called to YWAM Panama.. so I am having to find where I stand on certain subjects. I am also the youngest one, which I enjoy, so I am learning from people with experience- they have been through being 18 and making life decisions.. what a blessing it is to learn from them. I am challenged to live a life of excellence... which is what God has called each of us to. Any sin that is in my life is holding me back from being as close to my Savior as possible. I am still uncovering years of "little" and "big" sin that I always justified. It is most definitely an experience. Thank you for your prayers and for supporting me. I pray that as I am challenged that you to will be challenged. We are ALL called to live lives of example and excellence.  

Another thing that I am learning is faith. We are reading through the New Testament while doing our DTS- and I started Matthew yesterday- I forgot all of the stories of Jesus healing the sick, the lepors, the blind, the demon possessed. And it was their faith that amazed me, I can't say that I have that kind of faith- which I am  ashamed because I should. I want faith like that- that's my prayer as I write this blog. 

I'll end this blog with some song lyrics that have spoken to me:

Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades

Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame

my heart and my soul, Lord I give you control

Consume me from the inside out Lord

Let justice and praise become my embrace

To love You from the inside out

Saturday, August 1, 2009

To send me things:

Some of you have asked for my address to send me letters or packages so here they are:

For packages: Juventud Con Una Mision
pty 2912
7979 NW 21st St.
Doral, FL 33122-1616
Brennen Gaddis

Juventud Con Una Mision
PTY 2912
PO Box 025207
Miami, FL 33102-5207
Brennen Gaddis

I´m pretty sure I have to pay to receive them, because your postage will only cover for it to get to Doral or Miami... so keep them pretty light, or send some cash ;) haha. And don´t send anything to the one I posted before.. it takes ages to get here.. like a month or more.. They said I might get that when we get back from outreach haha..

And... if you ever wanna webcam me or talk to me my skype is brennengaddis search me and we can talk one night if we are both on at the same time :) Love love love

Friday, July 31, 2009

First week... CHECK.

Uh... where did week 1 go? It went by insanely fast- and I like that, it's crazy how much I have already grown in one week. My faith has increased.. the Lord is faithful with BIG and small. Sometimes we forget that he can handle the little things like: bad internet, hot and humid days, spilled water on computers, ants, lizards, jumping spiders, sticky nights.... things like that. :) I love this time I am getting to spend with the Lord, it is so awesome. He is so amazing, he proves himself true day after day- hour after hour. I am so blessed by my DTS team, we all speak English and vary from the ages of 18 to 43, oh and a 16 month old ;). And everyone is hilarious... I have never laughed so hard in my life... we are a group of 14 from California, Georgia, Minnesota, Kentucky, Idaho, Norway, Holland, Michigan... we all come from different backgrounds but all have the same goal in mind- increased faith. Today was our last day with the subject of Hearing God.. we decided to go to the city and walk. We were paired up, I was paired with Jan from Holland... we walked for 30 minutes simply observing then we went and prayed together about what we saw. What we saw was emptiness- people yearning for more.. more money, more money, more glitter... but their hearts desire, even if they don't know it now, is for the love of Christ. Jan and I prayed together that their deepest hearts desire would be fulfilled, Isaiah 43 was also laid on my heart during that time- take some time and check it out.. Once everyone was back together we shared with one another, we had 2 guys come up to us and tell us that they could tell we were Christians and that they as well were Christians working with the children who were gangsters and went around killing each other. We got the chance to pray for them as a group. The Lord works in mysterious ways- and I was blessed by that opportunity. 

This afternoon we got some time as a team and individually to listen to God as we worshipped, prayed, and sought God's will. During this time God brought some things up that I was ignoring, but things that are holding me back in my relationship with Christ. I am learning that it's okay to be angry, to be upset.. cry when we need to cry... but there is also a time of rejoicing that those times may come but our Heavenly Father is holding us. I got to experience both of those times. My team is so awesome, people praying for one another, lifting each other up, speaking words of encouragement to each other. Simply beautiful.  I love my team, and I love what God is doing with us. 

Be encouraged that your prayers are being felt. Continue to pray. We all need them. I love all of you all. Xoxo. 

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Fun... and humid

Panama life is tons of fun but totally humid the majority of the time.. suprisingly right now I am actually wearing jeans.. it is still like 70ish I really am not for sure, but it rained alllll morning- so that cooled it off- which I totally loved the rain. We have tin roofs so it makes me think I am at the cabin. :) Yesterday was lots of fun- we had "DTS recreation" which consisted of us playing soccer on a red clay "field". Our group had loads of fun, and I, of course, was SOAKED in sweat after we were done. We also played some group games during our class time. The Lord is continuing to speak to each of us, last night we got a chance to go to the city where we could see the city line and the water and have a time of worship. We prayed for the city and for lives to be blessed by the presence of the Lord. And this morning during our base intercession time I had a a vision of a multitude of Panamanians running towards the city to be in His presence. So that is something that you can begin to pray for that, that God will reveal what he meant for me to hear during that vision. I love our intercession time, it is such a faith builder. We learned yesterday that if we aren't faithful with the little things then how can God expect us to be faithful on the big things.. so little by little we are learning things that we have been unfaithful with to God. It is crazy how intense this is.. but I love every minute of it. I also forgot to say that during our first ministry prep time we got to make up a skit- and let me say, I haven't laughed that hard in quite some time. My group did a replay of the bus we caught to come back to the base Sunday afternoon.. So I was the coca cola/agua/DVD "seller" who came on the "bus" yelling, "Agua, Agua, anyone wanna buy some agua? Es mas frio!" We had a blast.. I love it. Anyways- on the more serious side... things you can pray for:
-The Lord to continue to speak to our group in bold ways.
-The Lord to being to speak to us on where we need to do our outreach.
-For me to become aware of the sin in my life that is holding me back from being the best that I can be.
-For me to begin to let go of some things and some relationships that are holding me back.
-For our DTS group to bond.
-For Marisol, the baby of our group, she has been running a temperature- so for healing.
-That the Lord will be the center of our attention at all time. 

I love all of you.. Please e-mail me---> brennen_gaddis@yahoo.com with any prayer requests or anything :) Love you!

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

A day in the life..

So the DTS has now begun, we have started our classes and activities that will continue throughout the DTS. We start every morning out with breakfast at 7, individual devotions from 7:30 to 8:30, Worship or Intercession time, Class, lunch, ministry prep, work duties, supper, free time then lights out.. except on Wednesday nights we have base worship in the evenings.. We have more freedom than I thought we would, we are required to be at all classes and all of that but during free time we can leave the base (in pairs) to go shopping, do laundry, or whatever! 
I have enjoyed our class this week, the topic is Hearing God and Kenneth from Costa Rica is our teacher. (He reminds me of Mr. Phillip from Gulf Shores!) The main things that have stuck out to me these past 2 classes is that God WANTS to speak to us even in the midst of our sin, he also loves us and claims us. And it blows my mind that he will claim us (Exodus 16) even though we are so messed up and so stuck in our nasty sin but yet sometimes we find it difficult or embarassing to claim that Jesus is our Lord.. and He is perfect. It blows me away. 
The Lord has spoken to me several times already since I have been here. Today during our intercession time I saw a picture of my sin on the cross, then the cross falling and burning the sin off... and I heard the gentle whisper from the Lord saying, "Daughter, you are loved and forgiven." What was crazy was that before we started praying the cross that was in the room, which was a very large one was standing against the wall, but during our intercession time someone had laid it on the ground.. so when I was sharing with our group I pointed to it and realized that the cross was on the ground. How awesome is that? To hear the voice of the Lord then for him to confirm it in his own unique and personal way for me. I am so blessed to have heard his voice. I think it was time for me to be still and start listening. 
I am praying for all of you and that each of you will begin to listen for the voice of God.. he wants us to know him and to listen and engage in conversation with him. 
Anyways, that is all I have time to share for now, but on a lighter note I thought I would share a funny "rule" we have around the base.... If it's yellow, let it mellow; if it's brown, flush it down. Hahaha.. Makes me laugh everytime. :) Adios friends and familia. 

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Much better.

Oh Panama. I have only been here 2 days and 3 nights and it has already been an experience. Thursday, the first morning, I was ready to go home, I thought that this wasn't for me and I misread the Lord's will for my life. And I now know why I felt like that... satan is out to kill, steal, and destroy any experience that will bring me closer to the Lord, which is exactly what Panama DTS is doing to my life. I am beginning to see that my prayers are being answered- I am having to fully trust Christ for everything. So today (Friday) was a much better day. 

We started today off with a lovely breakfast, which of course I didn't eat. Then we had a worship time, which was totally needed for me.. I was longing for that time where I could just sing and worship to my Savior. We also got to hear and give our testimonies of how we got to Panama and also how we met the Lord. I am so blessed to be with this group. There are so many awesome stories within our classmates. 

Some left everything they had, they quit their jobs, sold their houses and cars, and bought a 1 way ticket to Panama.. how amazing is that. I am blessed so much to be around people that have that kind of faith! Our group is seriously a funny group.. I have laughed so much today.. which is totally what I needed. Laughter cures mostly everything. :) We all are so different but we have one purpose and that is to serve our Lord. 

Tonight, I got a little taste of home! We went out to dinner to a nice restraunt and guessss what? I ATE! Yep, that's right, my appetite is back. Praise the Lord. What was so funny was that I kept looking for our cell phone to see if I had a text. Isn't that horrible? I am so immuned to the culture of busy busy busy that I don't even realize how much I am dependent on my phone and the technology. Of course, I didn't have my cell phone... I wonder how many cell phones I'll loose once I get back to the States? Haha.

Anyways- thanks for the prayers.. I can feel them! The Holy Spirit is going to do wonders.. I can't wait. I am praying for you all back home as well! 

I'm writing this Friday night but I'll try and post it soon- I am not where there is WiFi.. ;) Love to all! 


Post 2 in 1 post :)

It's Saturday night right now.. and we have gone to the beach today! :) It was lots of fun, good bonding time for the group.. and once again lots of laughs! Tomorrow we get to go to a church in the city- so that should be fun as well.. Just wanted to let everyone know I am doing better.. I have been eating today tambien.. just ate 3 cookies :)

Love all of you all!

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Estoy aqui.

I made it to Panama, nothing too exciting happened on my last flight except I met a guy who is doing the DTS at the airport, his name is Eric. So we helped each other out through tourist cards, customs, and him helping me with my bags. Which I of course overpacked... my roommates are amazed at the amount of t-shirts I have! One of my bags was 80 pounds and the other was 49.5 which made the cut while the other one did not! I am in a room with 7 other girls and it is alot like Camp Shaefer except no air conditioning. We get a fan that blows on us and makes the world of difference. This morning when I woke up I did not have the same attitude as I did yesterday about my nerves, I was ready to turn around get on that plane and come home. And parts of me still are. I need lots of prayer that I will begin to feel at home and that these nerves will STOP. I threw up this morning and still have yet to eat anything.. so it really is not healthy at all. So please pray.. I also met a girl named Katie who is 25 and from LA! We both had the same thoughts this morning consisting of- "I can't do this" "I am crazy for coming here for 5 months" "maybe I can just stay for 2 weeks" "I wannnnnna go homeeee" but we made a pack that together we will get through this.. and that through these trials we will be so glad we persevered! The base is absolutely beautiful.. maybe soon I will have some pictures.. today we have a free day so we are getting things organized and just learning about each other. Keep praying for me, I need those more than you could ever imagine. Love you all. -B

Pre Panama flight

Oh wow, what an adventure... as of right now I am still in the States, I am waiting on my final flight to Panama City, Panama and it already has been crazy! I made it to all of my gates with absolutely 0 problems, I rode on 2 small planes so I am hoping that this next one will be bigger! I have been extremely nervous, consisting of passing out once (before church on Sunday) then throwing up Sunday, then on Monday and Tuesday throwing up as well.. and today I did as well! Haha. It has been crazy- but who am I to not suffer? We all will face trials, and the other night I was reminded of the beauty in the trials in the book James. I was reminded that through trials I develop steadfastness or perseverance and through that comes joy. So that is how I am looking at these nerves- they will only make me stronger! 

My first flight I met a man named Eric who is 30, and is also going to Panama City- except he didn't get the joy of going to Newark before his flight to Panama.. however I was able to share with him what I am doing and he shared a piece of Orbit chewing gum that DIDN'T make me throw up. (Praise the Lord.) And then the second trip I talked to another man after the fact of me being one of the last ones on the plane (not my fault), so everyone on that flight got the joy of watching little me try to put my STUFFED and heavy backpack in the carryon area... needless to say that man was cracking up. And I was able to share with him what I was doing as well, he was from New Jersey and wasn't extremely friendly but he was pretty nice to me! :) 

So now I am sitting here amazed that all these people are going to the same destination, but with totally different reasons. This morning I doubted if I have the ability to do this, and it just came to me that I do not have the ability, but the Lord has the ability to strengthen me, comfort me, love me, and use me. It is absolutely nothing of me but all of him. Because if it was me, I would have already turned around and headed back to Owensboro to stay in my comfort zone. 

Now lets see how I feel once I get there :). Thank you for your prayers- they have gotten me this far, so I am confident that they will get me to Panama as well. 

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

New set of nerves?

Wow, I leave in the morning for 5 months. THAT is insane. My nerves are shot, I have passed out, threw up, and cried a ton. I haven't eaten anything today, so you know I am not myself. But I still know that this is what God wants for me, I am out of my comfort zone, and I think that is where God has called all of us to be! Anyways- I wanted to thank you all in advance for sending me on my adventure- I would not be boarding the 3 planes tomorrow without your prayers and financial support! Thank you! Continue to pray for these good ol' nerves.. that they will settle down while I am traveling. I will be flying out of Louisville at 10:45, out of Chicago at 12:25, and out of Newark at 5:20 hopefully arriving to Panama at 9:40. 

Also many people have asked for my address so here it is:

Juventud Con Una Mision
Apartado 0850-00212
Panama, Rep de Panama

Feel free to write me, I enjoy getting mail :).. and if you want you can send some index cards with verses on them! 

You can search me on skype at brennen_gaddis@yahoo.com
My thing is just brennengaddis!

I will thrive off of your prayers- Pray that I will represent my Savior well! 

Friday, July 17, 2009

18 is a difficult age.

So I am extremely bummed because I just looked up on how to get a "buddy" at the airport... and you have to be 14 or younger. How lame is that? So I get to be a big girl and grow up (I've been doing too much of that lately) and get from gate to gate on my own.. Lord help me. :)

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Praise the Lord.

I am so behind on updating this blog, I apologize! I am now a week away from my adventure/journey to Panama! It is crazy exciting and totally scary at the same time. I know that I am going to really learn what it means to depend on God and to love him with my whole heart. He has had His hand on this the entire time and I am extremely blessed for that. Over $2,500+  has came in from friends, family and the church. I am so thankful that God provided the money for everyone that has helped to bless me financially. I am extremely overwhelmed with the way he provides once again. Any money that comes in now will go to help me with my neccessities (groceries, laundry, taxi, etc...) and plane ticket money for outreach (if needed) or to other "YWAMers"!

One thing that I would love from friends and family is index cards with bible verses on them. Ones that have helped you all through rough, happy, sad, difficult, exciting, life changing times. Also any books, bible studies, things like that would be nice as well. I really am excited to get there and really do it! 

Prayer Requests: 
God's peace to overwhelm me, to meet good friends that will encourage me on my "team", wisdom for my group, patience for me, and that I don't miss any flights when flying! (I stop at 2 large airports- I am going to try and get a "buddy" :) 18 isn't too old is it for one of those?)

Thank you all very very much for everything! 

Friday, May 22, 2009


This past week has been crazy as far as my thoughts and emotions. I keep thinking how crazy I am for doing this. But I am consistently brought back to the place of complete surrender. This life I live is not mine alone. If my life is to bring glory to God then I need to take the time and get to know Him, know His thoughts, His ways, His heart, and how he wants to use me. That is the purpose of me going to Panama. That is my sole responsibility as a Christian, to follow Him wherever He leads. Today I was looking through some verses and Isaiah 6:8 kept popping into my mind.. The Lord asks, "Whom shall I send and who will go for us?" And the reply was, "Here am I. Send me!" That is what I want my life to be like.. where he needs me, I'll go willingly and with joy. The Lord also says in Romans 10:14-15- How, then can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they ahve not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? And how can they preach unless they are sent? As it is written, "How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!" The Lord has called me to live a life set apart, and for me to be willing to go where He sends me. The next time those thoughts of me being crazy for going, or thinking I won't be able to last 5 months without my family, I'm taking those thoughts captive, and making them obedient to Christ. I hope and pray that as I go on this journey that my life will change, and that other people's lives will change, and that Owensboro will change. People get ready, Jesus is coming. :)

Thursday, May 14, 2009


Wow. I am totally blessed, $110 dollars has already came in for my Panama trip! I am beyond excited and cannot wait to purchase my plane ticket when more money comes in! Thank you Jesus for all of the blessings in my life! I don't know why I have doubted.. :) Now 3990ish dollars to go..  ;) And the good thing, is He (the Most High) already has it taken care of! I love me some Jesus.

Monday, May 11, 2009

Trust in the Lord

I should have expected it, I should have seen it coming... satan. When God wants to use me satan wants to kill, steal, and destroy me. And he almost did it, thankfully I just remembered that my Awesome Savior has complete power over satan, and my Savior is my rock, and he will not let satan get a foothold on this opportunity. Satan has tried to bring discouragement into this whole situation, and that just isn't cool. So I am deciding to trust in my God. Proverbs 3:5-6 came to mind a little earlier today when I was getting discouraged it, but I pushed it aside. I just looked it up a minute ago, and let me share what is before and after those 2 verses!

 1 My son [daughter], do not forget my teaching, 
       but keep my commands in your heart,

 2 for they will prolong your life many years 
       and bring you prosperity.

 3 Let love and faithfulness never leave you; 
       bind them around your neck, 
       write them on the tablet of your heart.

 4 Then you will win favor and a good name 
       in the sight of God and man.

 5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart 
       and lean not on your own understanding;

 6 in all your ways acknowledge him, 
       and he will make your paths straight. a]" style="font-size: 0.75em; line-height: 0.5em; ">[a]

 7 Do not be wise in your own eyes; 
       fear the LORD and shun evil [satan].

 8 This will bring health to your body 
       and nourishment to your bones.

This is not about me, this is about humbling myself before the Lord and letting him use me in whatever way He pleases. What a joy to serve an awesome God. I need to stop thinking about me and remember who my God is and trust Him and then He will direct me and make my paths straight. :) 

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Acceptance to YWAM

Today I received an e-mail from the director of the Discipleship Training School (DTS) for YWAM Panama informing me that I have been accepted! :) I decided to apply for this 5 month school about a month ago when I couldn't make a decision on colleges. I really never felt like God wanted me to go to college, every college I would decide on or kind of decide on I never had a peace about it. So I came across this DTS and decided what the heck, why not apply. This school will give me 5 months to spend a lot of time with my Redeemer, it is all about knowing God! I will be spending 3 months in Panama and then the last two will be an outreach that my DTS group will pray about once we are all together! At this time I am in complete financial need, and am depending on God to provide for me! He is good and he will provide a way.  :) I guess tomorrow I will need to go and get my passport won't I!? :) Totally amazed at my awesome Father!