As I write these very words I think about my husband. It’s pretty often that the subject of love and relationships are brought up in my everyday life. I work with the public and many of them ask about my purity ring when I hand them their change. Or they want to know a little about my life and ask if I have a boyfriend. And for some reason I get nervous. I suppose it’s because I think that they won’t think I am “cool” because I’ve really never had a real boyfriend. Granted, I’ve had a few guys I’ve hung out with and spent (too much) time with, but never have I been asked, “Will you be my girlfriend?”. So when I am asked about this subject I almost cower. The other day I found myself doing that very thing, when I checked myself. Turned my attitude around and proudly said, “I’m waiting for my husband.”
There is no shame in your purity. 9.5 times out of 10 after I tell someone that I have never had sex or came close to having sex they react with a great deal of respect. Shock is also normally involved in their response, and some people think I am lying. I urge you, to never, ever, do what I have done; cowering or thinking that you aren’t cool because you are waiting for your husband. You are so beyond awesome for waiting for your future spouse. And if you have messed up, no worries- there is so much grace for you. God loves you and is still proud of you. Stand up, dust yourself off, and stay pure. J
Growing up I always wondered if something was wrong with me. I was the twin that never had the boyfriend. I would be Chelsea’s third wheel so she could hang out with her boyfriend. I would painfully stare out the window longing to be loved. I wondered if I wasn’t pretty enough, funny enough, perfect enough for someone to care about me, to love me, and to think I was awesome. I so deeply wanted someone to text me in the morning and to tell me Good Morning. And I was always so scared that I wasn’t good enough. Today I am so thankful that I was being hidden during those years (and I suppose still am being hidden). I firmly believe that the Lord was hiding me in His arms because He knew my destiny. He knew that one day I would be writing this page to a girl or boy sitting at home wondering if something is wrong with them.
Not only did He know that part of my destiny, but He knew how proud I would be one day telling my husband that I have everything to give him. It’s all his, and I have saved it for him. He knew that my wilderness, singleness experience would make me appreciate, love, and cultivate a marriage one day. Even now, while I am in that same stage- I know that one day I will be so excited that I have a husband. And 10 years into the marriage- I’ll re-read this book and think, “I am so lucky to be married, there is someone out there that is pleading with God for this opportunity.”
Singleness is not a curse. It’s not always fun, but it is not the worse thing in the world. It can be very rewarding if you don’t mope around about it. Choose to have fun in life even when you are single. Don’t worry about being this perfect person so you can catch someone’s eye. Because if you get married, 15 years later- they will know you aren’t perfect. J
3 comments:
This is so beautiful Brennan! Please keep writing, as I have two beautiful girls i tell these same things to. You are such as inspiration and beautiful person! God has such marvelous plans for you! I can wait to see you grow even more. Thank for sharing your story! Love and Hugs Melissa Mattingly
sweet! love! awesome thoughts! you are loved!
This is great girlie! I can totally feel this hands down!
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