I don't feel like I have it all together. And if I am honest with myself, I don't have it all together. I oversleep. I eat too much. I don't exercise. I miss my quiet times. I talk to the Lord more than I listen. I don't stay on my budget. And like last night, I skipped doing my homework. Simply, because I didn't want to do it.
Why is it that I do this!? I get so frustrated with myself. As I talk to other people, I find out that I am not the only one. But this morning, I apologized to the Lord for it. And He spoke back, "I didn't ask you to have it all together." That's the thing. He didn't. He asked us to love him and serve him. (Amongst other things as well.) He asked us to love him totally and completely. He asked us to live a lifestyle that lines up with the word. He asked us to love him so completely that it becomes a lifestyle.
He isn't a perfect recipe or formula. Yes, according to the world I should be up at 8am, eating healthy, exercising, etc, etc. But if I do all of that but not love….. what am I!? Nothing. I must love. I must love with my entire being. I must love and serve whole-heartedly. Completely abandoned to His will.
I will not be so ignorant to dismiss my lack of discipline because I love the Lord. I totally believe that the Lord wants us to live a life with some solid disciplines. Look at Proverbs 5:23- "For lack of discipline they will die, led astray by their own great folly.
Folly: Definition: Noun: Foolishness, stupidity, thoughtlessness
So, as I was praying and asking the Lord for a passion to wake up at 8am, ready to go exercise, and resist Coca-Colas; He reassured me that He has me in His hand. That He loves me like I am. But that yes, I do need to work on some things in my life. One lie that I have told myself, is that one day I would reach perfection. I would "have it all together". And that's not true. Some days, I might. But other days, I might not get it all just right. I don't go into my day with a defeated attitude saying that I'll never be able to do this. I wake up, put on the armor of the Lord, fill myself with His word and truth, and dive into the day confident in what the Lord has called me to.
He doesn't want us to have it all together, He wants us to be intentional. Intentional about: spending time with Him, serving Him, loving and serving others, taking care of our bodies (adequate sleep, exercise, and eating healthy), and walking in our individual purpose and callings.
I encourage you with the fact that you aren't the only one who doesn't have it all together. But that it's okay. Just start working on being intentional. And remember that He's holding you. He's got your back. And their is grace for our lives with Him.