Jesus makes us perfect in our weakness. I've never understood this. I've always despised weakness. I have always wanted to be the best, the fastest, the smartest, the toughest, and the one who CAN do it. I've never understood the strength in weakness until this past month. I've learned through myself and also through one of my friends.
I've been in a vulnerable place in my life- with myself. I am finally to a point where I am "over myself" and truly ready to live a life of abandonment to the will of the Father. However, with that comes some hard stuff to deal with. I have realized some characteristics that I posses that aren't holy or pleasing to God. They are characteristics that were meant to bring good not harm and I have thwarted them to hurt and sting people. There are characteristics about myself that I have done a good job at cultivating but have pushed to the side and not let out of me. Life can be difficult and in the past I've made myself look at it as if I'm going to conquer it. In reality- the Lord wants me to learn, grow, nurture, and become who I am intended to be. But a lifelong calling breeds a life long lifestyle of cultivating who I am intended to be by my Heavenly Father. Life is not meant to be conquered, but lived.
I have had to open myself up to hurt, heartache, and pain to realize some things about myself. I've prayed for certain situations in my life where I was the one who was in the wrong. I've pointed fingers when I truly was the problem. There have been other circumstances where the Lord has shown me that I was "right" but just because I was "right" didn't give me the freedom to use it against people.
Being in these circumstances has brought me to a place where I truly have to rely on the Lord for my confidence, my hope, my trust, and my strength. This morning I was almost in tears because I was frustrated that I have to work on SO much in my life. The Lord quieted my soul- and told me that His strength will hold me up, will get me through, and that He just wants me to seek Him. In seeking Him I will find Him. In finding Him I will find myself. In finding myself- I will become the woman God has called me to be.
I have a friend who is the strongest woman I've ever met. She has faced adversity, hardship, unfairness, and hurt with strength and courage. She has taken steps back to take steps forward. Although she feels weak and like she can't do anything right- I look at her with respect and honor. Because she is doing something that is hard. She is facing life- head on. And walking through it to become who she was originally designed to become. She amazes me. She encourages me- simply through her weakness. I truly see the Lord coming through with strength in her life.
If you are facing weakness. It's okay. It's okay to not always be peachy and everything perfect. It's okay to not have it together. It's a lifelong journey of becoming and nurturing who YOU are supposed to be. Keep walking forward. Every step forward is something. It's okay to mess up. Just get back up. It's okay to cry, get angry, and throw a fit. Just get back up.... don't make excuses. Face life and live it. In your weakness He WILL make you strong. His strength will be your source.
His strength is my source.