I was driving in my car and received some exciting news from a friend. News I should be excited about. And I was. But I was also pretty jealous. After ending the phone call, I started thinking/ praying, "Lord, Why don't I get that? I've done....." And you can fill in the blanks. I gave my list of "accomplishments" to the Lord wondering where my reward was. My competitiveness came out.
His still voice rang in my head, "Brennen, when are you going to realize that I don't base rewards off of performance. You don't receive from me because of what you've done. I give because I love you, not by your accomplishments." He continued to confirm that He will provide in His perfect timing and that He has my heart in mind.
Even when it seems that everyone else is getting their perfect life together and you feel like you are failing or that God isn't providing... that it isn't based on what you've done. He paid it all on the cross. We can't "pay" for anything. It's already done. We live by grace. (Honestly, we would't want it to be based on fairness. I'd be hell eternally separated if that was the case.) The Lord's timing is perfect. He brings us through seasons of times.. there will be trials and temptations... but that never changes God's capability to provide for his sons and daughters. Grace beats accomplishments any day.
Rest well that He cares for you. He hasn't forgotten you.