Pampering and Daily Hygiene

     This morning I just got frustrated. Simply frustrated. Frustrated with the fact that every morning I find myself having to clean myself up. Shower. Blow dry hair. Straighten hair. Hair product. Make up (if you're lucky). Clothes. Change again because I don't feel pretty in the first outfit. Brush teeth. And don't forget the deodorant. I know you may think that I am crazy for being frustrated with that. But when I am doing my hair I just look int he mirror and think- Here we are again. After I got ready this morning.... okay it was afternoon by the time I got ready today... I was thinking about this frustration. And I realized that that is how I have been feeling about my walk with God as well. Which I need to say- is not good. I have grown weary of refreshing in the physical and in the spiritual. This daily routine is a necessity for me to be clean and presentable. I need to bathe and do my hair. And when I only do half way- like don't put volumizer in my hair or forget hairspray my hair grows flat. I know my routine for me and how I look to last the whole day. And I know the same thing about my spiritual life. I know that I need desperately to be in God's word every day to stay afloat. To not get frustrated in the middle of the day because I'm feeling flat in my spirituality. (This blog is so woman language.) I need that time with the Lord of prepping of initmacy with the Lord. And when I spend time in the word my life radiates. Circumstances may not radiate but my joy and peace is well.
     My other thought about this was sometimes we need our hair cut, manicures, pedicures, facials... you know, all the good clean up for real kind of thing. The spring cleaning (that happens biweekly ;) haha) we need and most of the time just want these things. In our spiritual life we need the same thing- we need to be manicured- pruned- trimmed up. A body check of what is impure in my life to be cut off. To expose ourselves entirely to the Lord and surrender it all to Him.
     I know that this may not make sense to all of you. But, it makes sense to me. And I hope it clicks with you as well. Time for a manicure in my walk with God.


Jesus, forgive me for not seeking you every day. Forgive me for my frustrations. Give me a hunger and a thirst for Your word. I love you Lord. You are so good to me. Amen. 

The Heart of a Woman.

     Over the past few weeks I have had an incredible heart for women. There are so many wounded and hurt women in this world. We don't always see it at first, they may still be smiling but deep inside of them they are crying. This really breaks my heart. It makes me want to sit down with women, younger and older, and get to know them, their heart, who they really are. Their passions, dreams, and fears. After I heard a [true] story the other day I came to a realization about women in general, women have been told lies their whole life; not only from other people but also from themselves. We tell ourselves that we aren't eloquent, pretty, smart, witty, stylish, fit, [etc....] enough. And we have spoken these lies for so long that we believe them. And this breaks my heart. Women have the capability of mothering and loving people in a way that men do not. We have a motherly instinct in us, we have beauty and zest. We add flavoring to life. And we run and hide from it.
     I have been reading Captivating and this has brought a lot of this to my attention as well. Let me share with you some of the quotes that I really enjoyed reading.
    
     "This well-spring of life [the heart] within us is the very essence of our existence, the center of our being. Your heart as a woman is the most important thing about you."

     "We desire to possess a beauty that is worth pursuing, worth fighting for, a beauty that is core to who we truly are."
 
    "That longing in the heart of a woman to share life together as a great adventure- that comes straight from the heart of God, who also longs for this."

     "She yearns to be known and that takes time and inimacy. It requires an unveiling. As she is sought after, she reveals more of her beauty. As she unveils beauty, she draws us to know her more deeply.... Every woman has a beauty to unveil. Every woman. Because she bears the image of God. She doesn't have to conjure it, go get it from a salonn, have plastic surgery or breast implants. No, beauty is an essence that is given to every woman at her creation... There is a radiance hidden in your heart that the world desperately needs."

     The books spends quite a bit of pages on the woman's beauty. And I think that that says something. We are beautiful. We are destined to show beauty. Not a size 0, gorgeous locks of hair and long legs kind of beauty but a beauty that shines from the inside out. And we all desire it, and we have it. We are scared to have the very thing that we desire so much. We are scared to unveil it. It takes trust to bring that out of a woman. We are so wounded by the words that have been spoken over us. When it is time to break those strongholds and tell the devil to watch out- there is beauty that is about to be unveiled. It may take some soul searching, long talks over coffee, crying, and seeking God and his plan for us, but that beauty will be unveiled. It's a part of growing up. You have to get to the root of it. Just like a weed, if you just cut it off it'll resurface one day.

     I am not entirely sure that there is any other way to discover who we are other than spending some one on one time with the Lord in our prayer closet. And being honest with ourselves and with God. The cool thing about it- is nothing that we say to God will surprise Him. So have comfort in that. Let's be the women that God has created us to be. Let's be radiant in our beauty. The King is enthralled by your beauty! (Ps. 46:11) Memorize that verse. It's a good one. Let's discover ourselves and be healed and restored from our wounds and become the beautiful woman of God that He created us to be.




Beauty draws us to God

Job.

I have decided to attempt something that will be very challenging to me. I read about it on another ladies blog... B90x. You read through the entire bible in 90 days. This is kind of crazy to me.. and I really am not sure what makes me want to do this, other than a desire to know God- know his heart- know his desires. I am going to push though these 3 months and try to read for understanding and wisdom. I believe that God will reveal himself to me clearly and in ways I haven't imagined. So I have made it to Day 2 successfully. I also am reading through the Bible chronologically, which I am so very excited about. We did a workshop in one of the classes in Panama on David, and one of his psalms was in there admist the stories and I loved knowing why David was praying what he was praying. So I am excited to learn about the timeline of the Bible.
     Today my reading was on Job.. 16 chapters... (Day 2... Job was early on in the Bible) And in the midst of these 16 chapters a lot happens to Job. He is stripped of everything he has- his job, his family, his health, his money, everything. So three friends come to comfort him. I tried to imagine myself going through that in the extent that Job went through it. And then having friends come... and one of the things I realized is that through all of Job's cries to God all he wanted was to hear from God. His friends offered him advice but that wouldn't do. He wanted to hear the voice of God.
     Where my reading stopped today he was still crying out to God. And frustrated that his friends weren't telling him what he wanted/needed to hear. I find myself doing the same thing Job is doing. He wants to hear from his friends what God is trying to say. But God's saying- "No, I want you to want to hear through me." So many times I pray- and I pray to receive prophesies, dreams, words from my peers, visions... all of this. And lately I feel like God has been whispering to me- "Brennen, all of this is good and I will give these things to  you. But I want you to desire my voice, directly from me. I want you to listen to me first. Give me time to talk. It may take a little bit- there's some battling going on... You are in this time for a reason. Listen. Wait. Don't get impatient. Wait on me."
     I don't know if this even makes sense to anyone else. But it does to me. All of those things are ways that God speaks to me and other people. But I, Brennen, have gotten caught up in those things- instead of getting caught up in the Holy Presence of the Almighty God.

     Lord- Speak directly to me, from your mouth to my ears. Give me the ears to hear, open up my deaf ears to hear your voice. Help me to get lost in You and not lost in the "stuff". I love you Lord. Amen.

My One.

I just finished reading a book by Craig Groeshel titled Going All The Way. It totally opened my eyes to how I view relationships and my relationship with my Father. The book is in a way a book of preparing yourself for marriage. However- the thing that stuck out to me so vividly was that the person you marry and end up falling head over heels in love with is not "The One" they should be your "Two". The One should be your Heavenly Father. And in order to find the two you need to be crazy and totally in love with your One. I know I wrote a blog about marriage a few weeks or months ago- but this ties into it. The two things I have learned- I need to continue to fall in love with my One and then I need to prepare ME for my Two. I love it!

This past month and a half have been so much fun. I have loved it so much. I love my job. I love my life. I love everything. God has called me into new things and he is speaking to me... actually- I am hearing him once again. He never stopped speaking to me. God is revealing insequrities that I have that I have to give to Him. He is revealing strengths that I never knew I had. I LOVE how my God works. Can I get an amen!?

Lord- you are my One.. and I love you.

Can I get honest?

Can I be honest? This may step on some toes. Maybe not- depends on who reads my blog (I have no idea if anyone reads it!) But if you are reading- it's about to get truthful..... When is the church going to wake up? When are we going to stop being lukewarm? What would happen if I disrupted your Sunday morning schedule and sat in your pew? Or what would happen if we changed up the church schedule and prayed in the middle of the sermon or in the middle of the song? What would you do if I started dancing in the aisle? How would you react if I began to weep in the middle of a sermon? Basically... what would you do if we all took off our "I'm perfectly fine, I don't want to move forward, I'm comfortable, Where are we going to eat later" masks? I would like to say I apologize for saying this... but I don't. I'm ready for awakening. For hearts to have JOY! To praise the one who saved them. I'm pretty positive it's a command to not be lukewarm... and I'm afraid we're breaking it. Let's get radical. Let's get uncomfortable.. Elders- can the younger generation get more than accusing looks from you? Can you take a minute and love us through our pain, mentor us through our struggles? We need that role model. We need that encouragement. I'm sorry if you think I should be in college and you disagree with me not being in school... but instead of getting all worried about my future could you stop and pray for my future? Could you support me in my prayer life? Intercede for me? Oh church, can we wake up? Return to me! is what our Father says. Can we return? Now is the time. Let's do it. Don't hold back. Dance in those aisles. Raise those hands and praise Him. What has He saved you from? Sing like you mean it! Stop and pray for people. Lift them up. Encourage one another. And can I add that I am preaching to the choir. Oh Lord, bring us back to You.

if you could board a plane tomorrow morning, where would you go?

Oh- my heart is in so many places right now. Can I name a few? Haiti. Africa. Japan. India. Los Angeles. Chile. Bolivia. It is safe to say that I would literally go anywhere the Lord sent me. All that I want to do is love people... especially people that never receive love.

Ask me anything

Elisabeth Elliot

Elisabeth Elliot seriously is one of the most amazing women ever! She has wisdom like crazy.. I was just reading some of her quotes and thought I'd share.. And my thoughts are in parenthesis! :)


Holiness has never been the driving force of the majority. It is, however, mandatory for anyone who wants to enter the kingdom.

(How often do we shrink back from pursuing holiness? How often do I settle for just getting by? What a shame, because we are called to holiness. And if we are called to it, then I think it is achievable.)

George Macdonald said, 'If you knew what God knows about death you would clap your listless hands', but instead I find old people in North America just buying this whole youth obsession. I think growing older is a wonderful privilege. I want to learn to glorify God in every stage of my life. 


( =) What a blessing to glorify God in every stage, aspect, thought, everything... amazing, huh?)


Work is a blessing. [YES! A BLESSING!] God has so arranged the world that work is necessary, and He gives us hands and strength to do it. The enjoyment of leisure would be nothing if we had only leisure. It is the joy of work well done that enables us to enjoy rest, just as it is the experiences of hunger and thirst that make food and drink such pleasures. - Discipline: The Glad Surrender 


(This one got me where it hurts. I should treasure work....)



We must quit bending the Word to suit our situation. It is we who must be bent to that Word, our necks that must bow under the yoke.


(This is another one that gets me. Adjusting- twisting the Word. I want to take the word for what it is.. and dive into it.)


Where does your security lie? Is God your refuge, your hiding place, your stronghold, your shepherd, your counselor, your friend, your redeemer, your saviour, your guide? If He is, you don't need to search any further for security.


(AHHHHH-mazing. I should totally stop searching for another form of security.)