Last night, I had the honor of wrapping my arms around a 15 year old girl who began to share with me her struggles as a high school student. The things boys tell her, how they treat her, and how girls attack her with gossip and hurtful words. I've listened to young girls pour their hearts out to me with tears streaming down their faces time and time again. Lies have been placed in their minds that they aren't good enough, pretty enough, smart enough, dumb enough, flirty enough, this enough and that enough. I've seen young girls flaunt themselves at boys just to see if they will be told they are pretty.
Tears flooded my face last night as I was told these stories. Tears of familairity. I was there. I am there. I know what they are going through. I just face a whole different set of "not _____ enough"s. Once I got home and began to think about the girls that have trusted me enough to share their hearts with- I began to get mad and frustrated at 16 year old boys. But also at 40 year old fathers.
Our world is flooded with fathers who think that telling their sons a woman on a photoshopped magazine cover with hardly any clothes on is sexy. Young boys are growing up with images in their heads that are not realistic. They think it's okay to have sex surrounding them at all times. Fathers not stepping up and calling out the true beauty in a woman is sickening to me. Fathers, you make a difference in this world. Men- even if you don't have a child- you are a father. Someone is watching you and looking up to you. If you are okay with seeing a woman hardly dressed then they will also assume it's okay. But when will it stop? When will you take a stand for the women who are hurt and bruised by these unrealistic expectations that society places on them?
13 year olds struggling with anorexia and bulimia trying to make themselves acceptable to men. Men, where are you? Men of God who look at more than just a pant size and bra size. Men who see the personality, the passions of their hearts, their desires, and their overall character of woman. Men who call out the beauty in a woman by allowing them to be themselves. Not having to put on a low cut dress to gain your attention.
My heart is scrambling for words. This is where I come alive. This is where I have so much to say that I can't put it together. Honestly, as a woman, I would much rather hear a man say to me, "I love your heart and how you love life." over... "You look hott." any day.
This is what I have to say to the young women that are hurting. You are beautiful. You are absolutely beautiful from the inside out. Never allow a boy to tell you that aren't good enough. Cling to the love that the Savior has lavished on us. Just as Christ loves his church- so a man should love his bride, his woman. Women- hang on to your purity. Hang on to your diginity. Don't allow a man to step all over you and sweet talk you in to giving away something you can never give back. Stand up for yourself. RUN. I've heard it best from Bianca Olthoff, "Girl, I know you think he's hott... but so is hell... RUN!" Everyday work on becoming the most beautiful you from the inside out. "Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting but a woman who fears the Lord is greatly to be praised."
Jesus is completely able to take you from wounded to loved in an instant. His mercy is new every day. He is willing and able to nurture your wounds back to health.
Stick it out. Memorize scripture on how much God loves you, and how He formed you. Do not listen to this world. You are worth it. You are worth the wait. You are worth the pursuit. Respect yourself. Forgive yourself. and Love yourself. And talk to someone about how you've been hurt. Allow them to pray over you for healing. Life is too short to waste it on a perverted, sex-craving boy... wait it out... there are Godly men that are seeking you as well. I just know it. Warriors and Men of Valor.